{"id":42561,"date":"2020-02-01T22:43:03","date_gmt":"2020-02-02T02:43:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=42561"},"modified":"2020-02-01T22:46:55","modified_gmt":"2020-02-02T02:46:55","slug":"limerick-off-award-337","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2020\/02\/01\/limerick-off-award-337\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (337)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SUZANNE HEYMANN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

\nRay’s vineyard has gotten much praise,
\nAlthough wine’s not produced there these days;
\nA sweet treat’s all the craze,
\nEaten so many ways,
\nAs Ray’s raisins are raised by sun’s rays.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special DANCE-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

As a girl she had studied ballet,
\nAnd she practiced her moves ev\u2019ry day.
\nAs she bent to that task,
\nOther children would ask:
\n\u201cCan Anna come out and pli\u00e9?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar,<\/a> Sjaan VandenBroeder, William Preston, Sharon Neeman, Byron Miller, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Tony Holmes, Daisy Hyrkas, Roger Haugen, Dave Johnson, and Fred Bortz.<\/a> Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cRAISE or RAYS or RAZE\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO DANCE LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

When we\u2019re dancing, her eyes tend to glaze,
\nAnd I bask in their soft, dreamy rays \u2013
\nTill I tread on her toes!
\nThen the swearwords she knows
\nWould outclass all the oaths in Roget\u2019s.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“RAISE or RAYS or RAZE” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

\nOn Twitter Real Don would repeat
\nNasty words he picked up on the street;
\nHe\u2019d use them to raze
\nReputations, most days,
\nThen most nights beat a hasty retweet.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

William Preston:<\/p>\n

Though the sun and the moon have their rays,
\nOne works nights, and the other works days.
\nSaid the sun to the moon,
\n\u201cNow, don\u2019t set in a swoon,
\nBut your rays are just merely a phase.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

Once again, I am utterly pissed
\nBy the rhyme-words that “Rhyme Word” has missed.
\nDisbelieving, I gaze
\nAt the entries for \u2018raise,\u2019
\nBut \u2018erase\u2019 can\u2019t be found in their list.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman: <\/p>\n

Though the poker joint’s no-smoke these days,
\nIt once reeked of old cigarette haze —
\nTill the day that Big Mabel
\nTipped over the table
\nAnd cried, “I can’t see; I won’t raise!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Byron Miller:<\/p>\n

\nIt\u2019s regrettable we\u2019ve had to raze
\nAll your cities to naught but a haze,
\nBut Commander-in-Chief
\nLoves his burgers of beef
\nAnd the cattle need grassland to graze.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone: <\/p>\n

My surgeon I’m happy to praise;
\nHe is brilliant in so many ways.
\nHis name’s “Doc Lapoint.”
\nHe replaced my sore joint
\nAnd deserves lots of Hip Hip Hoo Rays!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

When a winsome young ewe takes his eye,
\nFarmer Grout isn\u2019t one to be shy.
\nBy the Moon\u2019s eerie rays,
\nIn the old-fashioned ways,
\nHe romances the \u2018lass\u2019 on the sly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DANCE LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sharon Neeman: <\/p>\n

The bar on the corner was grand;
\nYou could dance to a real decent band —
\nTill the barmaid, no sport,
\nTook the owner to court
\nFor misuse of a too-frisky hand.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman, for her Hokey Pokey:<\/p>\n

First the right foot went in and then out.
\nAt our parties, the kids had no doubt
\nThat the left foot was next —
\nNever made us perplexed,
\nAnd that\u2019s what it all was about.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Daisy Hyrkas: <\/p>\n

I stood on the edge of the chair,
\nGave a kick and I danced in mid-air.
\nAs I struggled and fought,
\nAn irrelevant thought:
\nThere’s hair on my legs. I need Nair.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Roger Haugen:<\/p>\n

Embraced in a slow sexy dance,
\nShe slid her warm hand down his pants;
\nThe cannon was loaded
\nAnd promptly exploded\u2013
\nSo much for a one-shot romance.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

When you dance, you must stay with the beat.
\nIt\u2019s the rhythm that makes it so sweet:
\nIt\u2019s \u201ca one an a two,\u201d
\nReally easy to do,
\nAnd sort of like lim\u2019riks for feet.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

Some people, convinced they can dance,
\nAre nothing but preening and prance.
\nTheir singular flair:
\nWaving hands in the air;
\nAs bad as Sean Spicer? No chance!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

\nHe argues as if we are twits.
\nHis dance tears all reason to bits.
\nHis Twist and his Mash
\nTransform logic to hash,
\nSo we call it the Dersho-half-witz.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

\nShe can do an incredible tango,
\nAnd wait till you see her fandango!
\nAll this, if you please,
\nWhile she grips with her knees
\nAn enormously fat, juicy mango.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

\n\u201cIf we dance in the old-fashioned way,
\nI might mount an unwelcome display.
\nShould you happen to feel
\nWhat I fail to conceal,
\nAnd you find it distracting, please say.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SUZANNE HEYMANN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Ray’s vineyard has gotten much praise, Although wine’s not produced there these days; A sweet treat’s all the craze, Eaten so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[4003,2578,5342,4465,3523,5009,5018,5144,5239,5052,5343,4533,3167,5145,3539,487,523],"class_list":["post-42561","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-haiku-seeds","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","category-poetry-prompts","category-poetry-contest","tag-brian-allgar","tag-byron-miller","tag-daisy-hyrkas","tag-dave-johnson","tag-fred-bortz","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-lisi-nortman-ardissone","tag-roger-haugen","tag-sharon-neeman","tag-sjaan-vandenbroeder","tag-suzanne-heymann","tag-tim-james","tag-tony-holmes","tag-william-preston","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42561","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42561"}],"version-history":[{"count":27,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42561\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42603,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42561\/revisions\/42603"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42561"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42561"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42561"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}