{"id":42508,"date":"2020-01-19T02:23:02","date_gmt":"2020-01-19T06:23:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=42508"},"modified":"2020-01-19T03:53:33","modified_gmt":"2020-01-19T07:53:33","slug":"limerick-off-award-336","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2020\/01\/19\/limerick-off-award-336\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (336)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A prompt for a line is a cue,
\nAnd a queue is a line for the loo.
\nA stick to shoot pool,
\nA cotton-tipped tool,
\nAn O with a tail \u2013- now I\u2019m through.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to KIRK MILLER, who wins the Special SIN-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A wild, wily widower, Will,
\nOn a lark, once went cuckoo for Jill.
\nThese birds of a feather
\nPlayed sex games together,
\nAnd the cardinal sin fit the bill.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Dave Johnson, Larz, Thomas Vincent, Daisy Hyrkas, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Tim James, Suzanne Heymann, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Peter Boorman, and Tony Holmes. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“CUE\/QUEUE” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

Her pool game \u2013 they started to mock it;
\nThat shy little girl with a locket.
\nBut, grabbing a cue,
\nShe knew what to do;
\nKeep blasting their balls in the pocket.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Larz:<\/p>\n

A naughty young nudist named Sue
\nWas checking out guys for a screw.
\nWhen she spotted his size,
\nShe exclaimed with wide eyes:
\n\u201cOh, you\u2019ll be the first in the queue!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Thomas Vincent:<\/p>\n

When approaching a modern day loo,
\nAll ladies know just what to do;
\nOdd symbols of sex
\nNever trouble or vex;
\nThey just head for the longest loo queue.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Daisy Hyrkas:<\/p>\n

The actor’s awaiting his cue;
\nA loud and a stagy “Ah Choo!”
\nHis partner can’t act,
\nThough to say so lacks tact.
\n(It’s a good thing that gal has the flu.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

My bananas were greenish in hue,
\nBut I waited so long in the queue,
\nBy the time I checked out
\nThere was nary a doubt:
\nThey were yellow and ready to chew.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A traditional Scotsman named Hugh
\nStarted drinking at six, right on cue.
\nAround midnight he lay,
\nKilt in full disarray,
\nWith the ladies enjoying the view.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

If you want to avoid a long queue,
\nJust pretend you’ve come down with the flu.
\nWalk in crutches, then sneeze,
\nCough a lot, cut the cheese
\nTill the others say, “Please, after you!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

From “cow speak,” we must take our cue
\nAnd translate \u201cDon\u2019t eat me!\u201d from \u201cMoo.\u201d
\nAnd when old horses say
\nWith a snort, \u201cNeigh! Neigh! Neigh!\u201d
\nWe must picket all plants that make glue.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (SIN LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

What\u2019s \u201coriginal sin\u201d? I\u2019ve been thrown
\nBy the studies I\u2019ve done on my own.
\nBecause try as I might,
\nI just can\u2019t get it right:
\nAll my sins are already well-known.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Peter Boorman:<\/p>\n

There was a young lass from Anstruther
\nWho had an affair with her brother.
\nThe result of this link
\nWas a short spell in clink
\nAnd a daughter whose Aunt was her Mother.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

Ev\u2019ry Christmas we have a dispute:
\nBefore company comes, I say, “SCOOT!
\nI have told you before
\nAnd I\u2019ll tell you once more
\nAdam, please stay away from the fruit!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

Oh, I tried to be virtuous \u2013 thrice.
\nThen I caved and surrendered to vice.
\nGoodness wasn\u2019t for me.
\nI was bound, now I\u2019m free;
\nIf it\u2019s naughty, no need to ask twice.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Daisy Hyrkas:<\/p>\n

In dimly lit rooms, I undress
\nAnd I do things I’ll have to confess.
\nIt’s for profit, not fun,
\nCuz I charge ev’ryone,
\nThough it’s true that the cute ones pay less.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

“If you sin morning, night, or at noon,
\nIn a fiery pit you’ll be strewn.
\nIf you beat Satan’s drum,
\nHell will burn all you scum.
\nBut God loves you! Please come again soon!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: A prompt for a line is a cue, And a queue is a line for the loo. A stick to shoot […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[5342,4465,3284,5344,5009,5018,5144,5350,5343,4533,5172,3167,5145,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42508"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42508"}],"version-history":[{"count":38,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42508\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42560,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42508\/revisions\/42560"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42508"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42508"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42508"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}