{"id":42436,"date":"2020-01-04T22:23:01","date_gmt":"2020-01-05T02:23:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=42436"},"modified":"2020-01-04T22:30:14","modified_gmt":"2020-01-05T02:30:14","slug":"limerick-off-award-335","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2020\/01\/04\/limerick-off-award-335\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (335)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Said the poet, \u201cMy limericks veer
\nTowards the nasty and smutty, I fear.\u201d
\nUpon saying this, he
\nGrinned lasciviously.
\nThat\u2019s the reason he\u2019s called Edward Leer.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TONY HOLMES, who wins the Special SNOW-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

\nYou can say what you like about snow,
\nLike, \u201cOh, Bugger!\u201d and \u201cPack up and go!\u201d
\nYou can shout yourself hoarse.
\nIt ignores you, of course.
\nWere I you, I\u2019d just go with the floe.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar,<\/a> Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Sue Dulley, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Tim James, Jean McEwen, Suzanne Heymann, Daisy Hyrkas, Tanja Cilia<\/a> Tony Holmes, Dave Johnson, and Shaneka Antwanette Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cVEER\/SEVERE\/REVERE\/PERSEVERE\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO SNOW LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

The weather outside – so severe;
\nWith snow piling up far and near.
\nBut lovers aglow
\nBy the fireplace know
\nThat a heat wave is imminent here.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

\u201cThem scientists? Listen up, folks \u2013
\nThey\u2019re eggheads who don\u2019t have no yolks.
\nThe cold is severe,
\nIt\u2019s snowing right here,
\nAnd that proves global warming\u2019s a hoax.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:<\/p>\n

I’ve written the “Song Of The Year.”
\n(Wasn’t easy; one must persevere.)
\nIt’s a cute little ditty
\nAnd also quite witty:
\n“Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Just Not Here.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley: <\/p>\n

Dear Mad: Though I still persevere,
\nMy muse has now left me, I fear.
\nWhere I once was snowed under
\nWith rhymes, now I wonder:
\nWhat caused that sweet snow storm to clear?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“VEER\/SEVERE\/REVERE\/PERSEVERE” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder says: <\/p>\n

\nCried Sisyphus, \u201cI\u2019ll persevere!
\nI\u2019ll inch this rock higher, don\u2019t fear!
\nBut then I must stop,
\nFor if I reach the top,
\nWhat the hell will I do all next year?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone, for this Acrostic Limerick: <\/p>\n

A<\/strong> vehicle sometimes will veer
\nL<\/strong>eft or right, when you don’t even steer!
\nI<\/strong>t might well get you scared.
\nG<\/strong>o and have it repaired;
\nN<\/strong>ow it’s safer. Get back into gear.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

\nHere in Camelot, Queen Guinevere
\nHas discovered some boils on her rear.
\nIn our kingdom, we\u2019ve found,
\nSplendid doctors abound.
\nThey\u2019ve been using the lance a lot here.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen: <\/p>\n

In my limericks, often, I\u2019ll veer
\nFrom one line to the next, making sheer
\nNonsense verse \u2014 which, though terse,
\nGets more dopey and worse
\nBy the line. (I am no Edward Lear.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann: <\/p>\n

It’s sometimes quite hard to revere
\nA priest who administers fear
\nAnd who’s almost controlled
\nAll the sheep; the blind fold
\nWho believe he’s their shepherd, so dear.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

Said the trollop to Mrs. Revere,
\n\u201cPaul\u2019s out shouting to all, far and near.
\nThe resistance is humming:
\n\u2018The British are coming!\u2019
\nThat\u2019s true; I\u2019ve been bedding them, dear.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

Alone in his garret all year,
\nVan Gogh from his canvas might veer
\nTo his one lonely chair,
\nWhere he\u2019d say to the air:
\n\u201cIs there no one who\u2019ll lend me an ear?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (SNOW LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Daisy Hyrkas: <\/p>\n

The village is dusted with snow.
\nIt emits a quaint holiday glow.
\nSuch sights can deceive;
\nIt is now Christmas Eve,
\nAnd Santa is jacked up on blow.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tanja Cilia: <\/p>\n

When the heavens are sending us snow,
\nWhich turns the earth white down below,
\nI retreat to my cave.
\nI\u2019m not one to be brave;
\nWhen the sun comes back out, let me know.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen: <\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be snowed! Does it not seem suspicious
\nWhen Kellogg\u2019s proclaims they\u2019re \u201cnutritious?\u201d
\nFrosted Flakes just won\u2019t fuel
\nYou like mom\u2019s oatmeal gruel.
\n(Though they taste, I\u2019ll admit, more delicious.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman: <\/p>\n

To snowboard is terribly tough;
\nAs you slide, it is slipp\u2019ry and rough.
\n\u2019Twas invented by jerks
\nWith very strange quirks
\nWho feel skiing\u2019s not lethal enough.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes: <\/p>\n

Politicians and weathermen sin!
\nThey can lie through their teeth and still grin.
\nThey will tell us: “Black\u2019s white,”
\n\u201cThere\u2019ll be no snow tonight.\u201d
\nAnd whatever the outcome, they\u2019ll spin.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman, who tells us that her acrostic limerick was inspired by Robert Frost’s
\n “A Patch Of Old Snow.”<\/a> <\/p>\n

\nF<\/strong>rom a distance, I looked down below,
\nR<\/strong>eflecting on times long ago.
\nO<\/strong>ver hills, near a brook,
\nS<\/strong>pots of grime overtook
\nT<\/strong>he beauty of winter\u2019s lush snow.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Shaneka Antwanette Murphy: <\/p>\n

My kids want another snow day,
\nBut this surely will NOT be okay;
\nOn snow you may trip
\nAnd fracture your hip.
\nSo I said to them, \u201cThere-is-snow-way!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

I heard Frosty the Snowman assert
\nHe was tough and he couldn\u2019t be hurt.
\nWhen I kicked him \u201cdown there\u201d
\nHis loud scream rent the air.
\nWho says snowballs are hard and inert?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson: <\/p>\n

It\u2019s snowing again \u2013 what a treat;
\nThen it melts in the afternoon heat.
\nAnd day after day,
\nIt\u2019s always this way.
\n(This dreamworld of mine can\u2019t be beat!)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Said the poet, \u201cMy limericks veer Towards the nasty and smutty, I fear.\u201d Upon saying this, he Grinned lasciviously. That\u2019s the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[4003,5342,4465,5106,5009,5018,5144,5346,5343,3369,4533,5333,3167,5145,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42436"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42436"}],"version-history":[{"count":50,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42436\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42503,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42436\/revisions\/42503"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42436"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42436"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42436"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}