{"id":42369,"date":"2019-12-07T20:07:04","date_gmt":"2019-12-08T00:07:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=42369"},"modified":"2019-12-07T20:47:18","modified_gmt":"2019-12-08T00:47:18","slug":"limerick-off-award-334","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2019\/12\/07\/limerick-off-award-334\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (334)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny verse, which is both a pool-rhymed and press-themed limerick:<\/p>\n

Narcissus would hotly refuse
\nEvery fact that disputed his views;
\nWhen his mirror-like pool
\nShowed a puffed-up old fool,
\nHe bellowed in anger, \u201cFake news!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR,<\/a> who wins the Special Press-Themed Limerick Award for this funny verse, which is also a pool-rhymed limerick:<\/p>\n

\u201cThose reporters,\u201d said Trump with a frown
\n\u201cAre the worst bunch of traitors in town.
\nThey call \u2019em a ‘pool?’
\nWell, let each lying fool
\nTake a dive in the deep end and drown.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Daisy Hyrkas, Tim James, Jesse Levy,<\/a> Jean McEwen, Dave Johnson, Tony Holmes, Michael D. Blum, Larz, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Suzanne Heymann, Michael Moulton, and Sjaan VandenBroeder. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“POOL” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Daisy Hyrkas:<\/p>\n

I employ my \u00e9p\u00e9e as a tool
\nAs we fence at the edge of the pool.
\nIf I happen to sway,
\nWe do water ballet,
\nAs we jointly perform pas de duel.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A fellow, obsessed shooting pool,
\nEnded up doing something uncool.
\nHe\u2019s now known as the man
\nWho was late to the can.
\nMind your pees and your cues \u2015 that\u2019s the rule!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jesse Levy:<\/p>\n

\nI once was proficient at pool,
\nAnd I thought I was pretty darn cool.
\nBut I then played a \u201cFelson,\u201d
\nWho said to me \u201cWell, son,
\nI think I just took you to school.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n

At my health club, they\u2019ve posted a rule:
\n\u201cPlease don\u2019t drool, spit, or pee in the pool.\u201d
\nYet, it seems there\u2019s no stopping
\nSome members from plopping
\nDown huge putrid hunks of brown stool!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

Before they would head to the pool,
\nHis wife had established a rule.
\n\u201cI know you will spy
\nEvery girl walking by;
\nNo sighing and try not to drool.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

It is best when at rest by the pool,
\nTo lie prone, thereby trapping your tool.
\nWith your manhood safe housed,
\nShould your ardour be roused,
\nThere\u2019ll be no telling tales out of school.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Michael D Blum: <\/p>\n

He threw his genes into the pool
\nBy using his wee little tool.
\nWe know him as Trump,
\nThat despicable grump;
\nEvery offspring of his is a fool.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Larz, for his two-verse limerick:<\/p>\n

The daring young babes at the pool
\nLove sporting their suits miniscule.
\nNaughty boys look alive
\nWhen those girls take a dive
\nCuz their suits will fall off as a rule.<\/p>\n

One denuded nymphet played the fool.
\n\u201cOh Mercy!\u201d she cried, \u201cDon\u2019t be cruel.\u201d
\nTo no one\u2019s surprise
\nShe caused quite a rise
\nIn the tools of the fools in the pool.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (PRESS LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone, for her Acrostic Limerick:<\/p>\n

M<\/strong>ost people watch “press” on T.V.,
\nE<\/strong>xpectantly waiting to see
\nD<\/strong>ebates about news,
\nI<\/strong>n depth theories and views…
\nA<\/strong>nd instead see the Prez on a spree.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

My newspaper used to be sturdy
\nWith features beyond more than wordy.
\nBut now it\u2019s on line,
\nWhich works out just fine\u2013
\nTill the floor of my birdcage gets dirty.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n

Reporters today\u2014so despised
\nBy our POTUS\u2014should not be surprised
\nIf some MAGA fan, packing
\nA gun, starts attacking.
\nAlertness is strongly advised.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

I was hacking a slice off my boule \u2013
\nI confess, I\u2019m a sourdough fool \u2013
\nWhen a news anchor clip
\nCaused my bread knife to slip \u2013
\nAlmost sliced off the family jewel.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a fact that the press always skews
\nTheir reporting on non-mainstream views.
\nThey\u2019re so lousy at that
\nThey misquoted my cat.
\n\u2019Twas a typical case of fake mews.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

They write for the Times and the Post;
\nIn detail that\u2019s stronger than most.
\nHere\u2019s hoping one day
\nTheir headlines will say:
\n\u201cIT\u2019S OVER -THIS P.O.T.U.S. IS TOAST!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

Paparazzi, reporters, the press
\nLike to find famous folk who transgress.
\nNow isn\u2019t it funny
\nThat even hush money
\nCan\u2019t sweeten (like honey) their mess!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mike Moulton:<\/p>\n

Said Trump to the press, looking smug,
\nWith his usual leer and a shrug:
\n\u201cThe House won\u2019t get far,
\nBecause I\u2019ve got Bill Barr,
\nWho will sweep my crimes under the rug.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

Mr. Gutenberg never could guess
\nWhat some people would print with his press:
\nGossip, lies, and abuse.
\nFor such stuff there\u2019s one use:
\nIn a birdcage, to clean up the mess.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny verse, which is both a pool-rhymed and press-themed limerick: Narcissus would hotly refuse Every fact that disputed his views; When his mirror-like […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,5342,4465,5106,2434,5344,5009,5018,5144,4378,3621,5343,4533,3167,5145,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42369"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42369"}],"version-history":[{"count":45,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42369\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42433,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42369\/revisions\/42433"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42369"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42369"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42369"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}