{"id":42125,"date":"2019-08-25T00:08:57","date_gmt":"2019-08-25T04:08:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=42125"},"modified":"2019-08-25T00:19:05","modified_gmt":"2019-08-25T04:19:05","slug":"limerick-off-award-329","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2019\/08\/25\/limerick-off-award-329\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (329)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to JEAN MCEWEN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a verse for a sympathy card:
\n\u201cI regret that your life\u2019s been so hard.
\nBut mine\u2019s been much worse
\nSo I just can\u2019t disburse
\nAny pity for you.\u201d (Signed, \u201cThe Bard.\u201d)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special HOBBY-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A couple went out one fine day
\nWatching birds (as they later would say).
\nThey agreed to begin
\nWith a cardinal sin
\nAnd to end by enjoying a jay.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar,<\/a> Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Tim James, Tim Gray, Roger Haugen, David Kay a\/k\/a LimeriTweets a\/k\/a WoodyGuth3,<\/a> Bill Pfeil,<\/a> and Jean McEwen. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“CARD” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

A.G. Barr plays the Potus\u2019s card,
\nThe \u201cCan\u2019t be indicted\u201d canard.
\nThis lying old creep
\nSells his honor too cheap;
\nLet us hope that he\u2019ll soon be disBarred.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone: <\/p>\n

It’s important! You must disregard
\nCertain mail, even though it is hard.
\nThrow it right in the trash
\nAs quick as a flash,
\nIf it says, “Pre-approved Credit Card.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

I once knew a guy named Bernard
\nWho held gals in the lowest regard.
\nWhen he met one buff lass,
\nHe grabbed hold of her ass.
\nI sent him a nice get-well card.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim Gray:<\/p>\n

If you want to be feathered and tarred,
\nTell the truth on Trump\u2019s golfing score card.
\nJust double the score,
\nSo a two putt means four,
\nBut prepare to be roasted and charred.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Roger Haugen:<\/p>\n

He grunted and sweated and sparred,
\nTuning up for the big boxing card;
\nBut worst came to worst\u2013
\nKnocked out in the first;
\nAll that work couldn\u2019t shed enough lard.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Kay:<\/p>\n

Your contest just caught me off guard,
\nAnd your rules truly make it quite hard.
\nI\u2019ll give it a shot
\nWith the best that I got,
\nBut I\u2019ll have to bring in a Trump card.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (HOBBY-THEMED LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:<\/p>\n

Writing lim’ricks is quite an obsession;
\nYou burst with creative expression.
\nIs it just a pursuit
\nTo be clever or cute?
\n(Or is it demonic possession?)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

Our beloved Commander-in-Chief
\nIs heaving a sigh of relief.
\nHis \u201chobby,\u201d so lewd,
\nWill remain unpursued.
\n\u201cPoor Jeffrey!\u201d he cries, with fake grief.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Bill Pfeil:<\/p>\n

The show\u2019s graphic and gross! Viewers cringe;
\nIt is vulgar TV on the fringe.
\nMoral decency? None!
\n\u201cBut it\u2019s brilliant and fun,\u201d
\n‘Rick and Morty’ fans say as they binge.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

I was sick, bored, confined to my bed,
\nSo my wife gave me needle and thread.
\n\u201cIt\u2019s embroid\u2019ry. Explore it!\u201d
\nI\u2019d no talent for it.
\n\u201cStick with it!\u201d was all that she said.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n

A drum majorette, past her heyday,
\nWas suddenly heard to cry \u201cMAY DAY!\u201d–
\nAs her aim (inexact)
\nGot her skull whacked and cracked.
\n(Now she twirls just for fun, not a payday.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:<\/p>\n

I tried to get into the groove
\nAnd ski till I’d surely improve.
\nBut I really got scared
\nAnd just wasn’t prepared
\nFor the sign: “CAUTION: Trees Do Not Move!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to JEAN MCEWEN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Here\u2019s a verse for a sympathy card: \u201cI regret that your life\u2019s been so hard. But mine\u2019s been much worse So […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[5327,4003,5332,5106,5009,5018,5144,5239,5174,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42125"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42125"}],"version-history":[{"count":26,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42125\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42163,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42125\/revisions\/42163"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}