{"id":42056,"date":"2019-08-10T21:59:32","date_gmt":"2019-08-11T01:59:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=42056"},"modified":"2019-08-10T22:13:08","modified_gmt":"2019-08-11T02:13:08","slug":"limerick-off-award-328","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2019\/08\/10\/limerick-off-award-328\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (328)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A fellow was high as a kite
\n\u2019Cause his girlfriend had made him that night
\nSpecial brownies and cakes.
\nYes, she knows what it takes
\nFor a guy to feel love at first bite.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins the Special THREAT-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A director whose films are quite lewd,
\nWould tell a new actor, \u201cI\u2019m rude
\nIf somehow I fail
\nTo disclose one detail:
\nShow up and you\u2019re gonna get screwed.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar,<\/a> Val Fish, Jean McEwen, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Tim James, Robert Schechter,<\/a> Kirk Miller, John Cooney, and Dave Johnson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“BITE\/BYTE” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

I am teaching our doggy to bite
\nAny yellow-haired morons on sight,
\nSo both Johnson and Trump
\nWill be nipped in the rump
\nAs our dog wags his tail with delight.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Val Fish:<\/p>\n

\u2019Twas a nightmare, a terrible fright;
\nCount Dracula taking a bite.
\nBut then I awoke;
\nIt was hubby\u2019s sick joke.
\nHe slept DOWNSTAIRS the rest of the night.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n

\n\u201cFear not!\u201d Trixie said. \u201cJust sit tight!
\nBuster\u2019s bark is much worse than his bite!\u201d
\nAnd so, trusting her word,
\nI sat tight — but incurred
\nTwelve deep gashes I\u2019m nursing tonight.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

\nI roamed through the forest at night;
\nOne tree was surprisingly bright.
\nTwo eyes in the bark
\nThat gleamed in the dark\u2013
\nWho could know that the critter would bite?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:<\/p>\n

\nI got rid of those bed bugs that bite
\nAnd now I can fin’ly sleep tight.
\nBut what’s that I hear
\nClimbing into my ear?
\nDid something just say “Nighty Night?”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

With the racism, rancor, and spite
\nFrom a dimwit whose head just ain\u2019t right,
\nIt\u2019s depressing to know:
\nEighteen months still to go.
\nMay I please have a bullet to bite?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Robert Schechter:<\/p>\n

What’s that? What you say isn’t right.
\nThough a dog when it barks is not quite
\nBeing friendly, the cur
\nThat I’ll always prefer
\nIs the one who just barks but won’t bite.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kirk Miller:<\/p>\n

A computer store owner named Wright
\nHas a good sense of humor and might
\nPost a sign when he\u2019ll go
\nOut to lunch so folks know:
\n“Be Wright back, went to get a quick byte.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (THREAT-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

\nHe said nothing, made no idle chat,
\nBut the threat was still clear, for all that:
\n\u201cGreat and mighty am I;
\nDisobey me and die!\u201d
\n(That\u2019s a typical \u2019tude for a cat.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

John Cooney:<\/p>\n

\u201cHello, I\u2019m not in at the minute.
\nBe brief with your message. Begin it
\nWith age, sex, location,
\nAnd key information:
\nYour address and when no one is in it!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve only just recently met,
\nBut already I’m starting to sweat;
\nShe proclaimed, \u201cLet\u2019s get married!\u201d
\nAnd now I am harried
\nCuz that is one serious threat!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

To kiddies, a parent would drone:
\n\u201cBehave \u2013 or you\u2019ll sit all alone!\u201d
\nThat\u2019s back in the day;
\nNow they\u2019re likely to say:
\n\u201cEnough \u2013 or I\u2019m taking your phone!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: A fellow was high as a kite \u2019Cause his girlfriend had made him that night Special brownies and cakes. Yes, she […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,4465,5106,5301,3284,5009,5018,5144,2537,3167,4084,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42056"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42056"}],"version-history":[{"count":24,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42056\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42094,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42056\/revisions\/42094"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42056"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42056"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42056"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}