{"id":41760,"date":"2019-06-01T22:45:16","date_gmt":"2019-06-02T02:45:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=41760"},"modified":"2019-06-01T23:09:36","modified_gmt":"2019-06-02T03:09:36","slug":"limerick-off-award-323","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2019\/06\/01\/limerick-off-award-323\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (323)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to HILDY ZAMPELLA, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Each evening, as darkness approaches,
\nSee them scurry about, all the roaches.
\nWhat a friendly old dump;
\nEven rats nice and plump
\nCome on out just to say “buenas noches.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to STEVE BENKO<\/a>, who wins the Special Cuisine-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

My girlfriend and I in the kitchen
\nMake a sauce that we both find bewitchin\u2019.
\nIn this recipe French
\nShe behaves like a wench,
\nAnd I peel off her layers of stitchin\u2019.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar,<\/a> Sharon Neeman, Jean McEwen, Tim James, Tim Gray, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Kirk Miller, Kim Norman,<\/a> Dave Johnson, Bruce McGuffin, David Friedman, and John Edwards. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“DUMP” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

He placed his gargantuan rump
\nOn the solid-gold toilet. Said Trump,
\nOn inspecting the haul,
\n\u201cThat\u2019s the greatest of all!
\nBette Davis was right: What a dump!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman: <\/p>\n

As we jogged down the street past the dump,
\nI heard a most ominous thump:
\nThe stench of decay
\nMade my partner first sway,
\nThen stagger, then fall on his rump.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen: <\/p>\n

I have frequently wondered how Trump,
\nWho, possessed of a sizable rump
\nAnd comportment so haughty,
\nApproaches the potty
\nWhen driven to take a large dump.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A guy who was dumb as a stump
\nTook his gal to a landfill to hump.
\nShe had too much panache
\nTo make love among trash.
\nThe result: he got dumped at the dump.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim Gray:<\/p>\n

The Tower of one Mr. Trump
\nIs having a bit of a slump.
\nTenant treatment\u2019s appalling,
\nAnd values are falling.
\nIs it slowly becoming a dump?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (CUISINE LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n

When dining in China, I\u2019m faced
\nWith a quandary: Whether to taste
\nThe still-squiggling fish
\nThat they\u2019ll plop on my dish,
\nOr head for McDonald\u2019s post-haste.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

Eating \u201cwhole foods\u201d and seeds made me quake.
\nGrains and seaweed sure gave me an ache.
\nAnd when I first tried flax
\nI just couldn\u2019t relax;
\nTurning vegan was one huge missed steak!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman: <\/p>\n

Mark looked at her glass and said “Gad!
\nWhat an awful drink YOU almost had!
\nThe French may cook frogs;
\nBalinese may roast dogs —
\nBut you just can’t drink ladybugs*, Mad!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

* And yes, I came very close to swallowing a ladybug. Fortunately, I noticed it swimming in my glass of water, just as I was about to take a large sip.<\/p>\n

Kirk Miller:<\/p>\n

By making some food in a flurry,
\nThe cook got a raise in a hurry
\nFrom her Indian boss
\nFor a fabulous sauce.
\nAnd she did it by favoring curry.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kim Norman:<\/p>\n

When people go vegan, they shout it.
\nTheir food\u2019s never butchered; they sprout it.
\nWith tofu and grains,
\nThey\u2019ve unfettered their veins.
\nIf only they\u2019d shut up about it!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

The White House is lacking in flair
\nWhen champion sports teams are there.
\nIt\u2019s Big Macs and fries
\nFor just some of their guys;
\nThe rest skipped the whole, dumb affair.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Bruce McGuffin:<\/p>\n

To eat with your feet is just rude.
\nIt\u2019s barbaric, revolting and crude.
\nBut I\u2019ve got to try it
\nAs part of my diet.
\nInstead of meat, I\u2019ll eat toe food.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Friedman:<\/p>\n

Said Anton, a consummate foodie,
\n\u201cMy dishes are things of great beauty;
\nThey\u2019re gorgeous, nutritious,
\nGourmet and delicious,
\nBut always just end up as doodie.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

John Edwards:<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a chef who likes venting his spleen
\nOn TV, whilst preparing cuisine.
\nAnd his language I fear
\nMeans no knighthood next year.
\nYou CAN’T say \u201cF\u2026 off\u201d to the Queen.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to HILDY ZAMPELLA, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Each evening, as darkness approaches, See them scurry about, all the roaches. What a friendly old dump; Even rats nice and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,5258,4465,5187,5073,5106,564,5283,3284,5009,5018,5144,5052,5080,5174,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41760"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41760"}],"version-history":[{"count":26,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41760\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41799,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41760\/revisions\/41799"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41760"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41760"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41760"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}