{"id":41644,"date":"2019-05-05T00:50:00","date_gmt":"2019-05-05T04:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=41644"},"modified":"2019-05-05T01:01:43","modified_gmt":"2019-05-05T05:01:43","slug":"limerick-off-award-321","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2019\/05\/05\/limerick-off-award-321\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (321)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SHARON NEEMAN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

On vacation, I paddle and grin
\nIn warm seawater up to my chin \u2014
\nBut if I were a cuke,
\nI\u2019d be wanting to puke
\nAnd would wail: \u201cWhat a pickle I\u2019m in!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins the Special POLICE-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Trooper Jenna\u2019s a cop who will nail ya
\nWhile working her beat in Centralia.
\nIf speeding\u2019s your crime,
\nThis would be the one time
\nThat you don\u2019t want to see Jenna tail ya.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, David Friedman, Jean McEwen, Ken Gosse, Mike Burch,<\/a> Sharon Neeman, Brian Allgar,<\/a> Lisi Nortman, Val Fish, and John Shardlow. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“GRIN or CHAGRIN” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A gambler, his face in a grin,
\nTook a gal to his place for some sin.
\nWell-known as a joker,
\nHe started to poke \u2019er
\nAnd quipped as he did: \u201cI\u2019m all in!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Friedman:<\/p>\n

The surgeon downed three shots of gin,
\nAs his patient looked on with chagrin.
\nSaid he: \u201cThis small step
\nIs an alcohol prep,
\nAnd your surgery now can begin.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n

\nLast night, when my Siamese twin
\nOverdid it with Beefeater Gin,
\nShe and I both got smashed.
\nNow, hung over, abashed,
\nWe\u2019ve a mutual sense of chagrin.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ken Gosse:<\/p>\n

Three large ships landed far from the shore,
\nWhere some shepherds, kings, camels, and more
\nPaid for rooms at the inn,
\nCausing Joseph chagrin,
\nAs the landlord made profits galore.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mike Burch:<\/p>\n

Just thinking of Trump makes me grin:
\nI imagine glass walls caving in
\nAnd that fat flabby ass
\nExposed, belching gas
\nThat ignites and devours his kin.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman: <\/p>\n

As I walk my big dog through the city,
\nThe joy on her face is so pretty!
\nThe expression it’s in
\nIs… well, not quite a grin:
\nIt’s more like a Smile of Great Pittie.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

Donald Junior displays, with a grin,
\nYet another dead animal skin.
\nIt is really too bad
\nThat it isn\u2019t his Dad
\nThat the murderous creep has done in.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone, for her Acrostic Limerick:<\/p>\n

\nL<\/strong>ose that sadness and put on a grin
\nA<\/strong>nd set out to feel joy from within.
\nU<\/strong>nder stress, you’ll pull through,
\nG<\/strong>etting pleasure anew.
\nH<\/strong>ave a chuckle. Chill out. It’s no sin.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A Republican flunky named Flynn
\nStoked a mob with a lunatic grin.
\n\u201cLock her up!\u201d was his cry
\nAs the lies he let fly.
\nWhen does HIS stretch in prison begin?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Val Fish: <\/p>\n

With his sermon about to begin
\nThe priest had to hide a huge grin,
\nCuz just minutes ago
\nOut the back with a pro
\nHe\u2019d committed a cardinal sin.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

My good pal always wears a wide grin.
\nHe says \u201cLife is just one big win-win.\u201d
\n\u201cStart each day with a smile,
\nKnowing all of the while
\nThat you\u2019ll end it with Beefeater Gin.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (POLICE-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n

\nWhen you\u2019re drunk, heading back from the bar,
\nAnd a trooper pulls over your car,
\nThere\u2019s no point in insisting
\nYou\u2019re sober; resisting
\nArrest just won\u2019t get you that far.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Friedman:<\/p>\n

There once was a Chief of Police
\nWho tried to spread love and have peace…
\nAnd if you buy that tale,
\nI\u2019ve swampland for sale
\nAnd a couple of golden egg geese.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar, who says: “Fake News, I’m sorry to say.”<\/p>\n

The Donald loves copping a feel:
\n\u201cGrab a pussy, and hear how they squeal!\u201d
\nBut he\u2019s now doing time
\nFor a sexual crime;
\nHe was feeling a cop \u2013 no appeal.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

John Shardlow:<\/p>\n

It seems Superman\u2019s got a new hobby;
\nHe robs guests in the Radisson lobby.
\nHe dons a red cape
\nAnd make his escape,
\nPursued by an Oxford Street bobby.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A cop pulled me over, it\u2019s true,
\nWhen I\u2019d had a martini or two.
\n(Maybe three…maybe five…)
\nI said, \u201cI\u2019m drood to guyve!\u201d
\nNow alas, like that trooper, I\u2019m blue.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SHARON NEEMAN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: On vacation, I paddle and grin In warm seawater up to my chin \u2014 But if I were a cuke, I\u2019d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,4465,5187,5106,5173,4842,5009,5018,5144,4878,5052,3167,4084,487,523],"class_list":["post-41644","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","category-poetry-prompts","tag-brian-allgar","tag-dave-johnson","tag-david-friedman","tag-jean-mcewen","tag-john-shardlow","tag-ken-gosse","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-lisi-nortman-ardissone","tag-mike-burch","tag-sharon-neeman","tag-tim-james","tag-val-fish","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41644","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41644"}],"version-history":[{"count":22,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41644\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41685,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41644\/revisions\/41685"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41644"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41644"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41644"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}