{"id":41480,"date":"2019-03-23T21:23:15","date_gmt":"2019-03-24T01:23:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=41480"},"modified":"2019-03-23T21:28:53","modified_gmt":"2019-03-24T01:28:53","slug":"limerick-off-award-318","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2019\/03\/23\/limerick-off-award-318\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (318)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to DAVID FRIEDMAN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Two pencils set off on erase,
\nLooking sharp as they scratched out a pace;
\nThe number one led,
\nThen the two got ahead,
\nBut it ended a draw for first place.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special Conductor-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

An ancient conductor named Tim
\n(Not me) met that Reaper most Grim.
\nHe was well past his prime
\nUp on stage, beating time,
\nTill today, when time fin\u2019lly beat him.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Fred Bortz,<\/a> Thomas Vincent, Kat Irving, John Edwards, Lisi Nortman, and Brian Allgar.<\/a> Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“RACE or ERASE” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

When the demagogue entered the race
\nScary changes began to take place.
\nPeople took great delight
\nShowing hatred and spite,
\nMeeting two definitions of \u201cbase.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

“It’s time that we cut to the chase,”
\nSaid the lad in a sweaty embrace.
\n“Your body’s so supple.
\nI’m eager to couple.”
\nShe replied, “Wait, this isn’t a race.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Thomas Vincent:<\/p>\n

When viewed from a ship out in space,
\nHumanity\u2019s such a disgrace.
\nIf evolving\u2019s the test,
\nAnd Trump is the best,
\nWe surely aren\u2019t winning the race.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kat Irving:<\/p>\n

I\u2019m in love with a dashing young fellow
\nWho plays an enormous red cello.
\nWhen he picks up the pace,
\nMy heart starts to race.
\nAnd I swoon when his touch becomes mellow.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

He was awed by her body and face,
\nSo he went with her, back to her place,
\nWhere he found out that \u201cshe\u201d
\nWas hung better than he.
\nThat\u2019s an image he\u2019d like to erase.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (CONDUCTOR LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

John Edwards:<\/p>\n

To a cellist, a maestro from Datchet
\nSaid, “This is the tempo – please match it!
\nYour instrument lies
\nBetween your two thighs;
\nAnd you just seem to sit there and scratch it.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:<\/p>\n

The conductor seemed very forlorn:
\nHe told me, “I’m terribly torn;
\nThough this job is first-rate,
\nToday wasn’t great
\nCause Ms. Dinah would not blow my horn.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

\u201cThat flautist!\u201d recalled the conductor.
\n\u201cShe was hot, and I tried to instruct her
\nIn \u2018playing the flute,\u2019
\nBut my flute had gone mute,
\nSo, regrettably, I never … what\u2019s the phrase I\u2019m looking for?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

John Edwards:<\/p>\n

The conductor stepped onto the stand.
\nA lady said, “Isn’t he grand!
\nHe looks pretty slick
\nWith his cute little stick.
\nAnd he waves it in time with the band.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

I’m thinking of writing these tomes:
\nFor building things, “Bucky’s Great Domes”;
\nFor Quantum Mechanics,
\n“Why Schr\u00f6dinger Panics”;
\nFor conductors, “There’s No Law Like Ohm’s.”\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:<\/p>\n

Musicians will often expound
\nA philosophy, very profound:
\n“The conductor’s unkind,
\nBut we do keep in mind
\nThat at least that damn stick makes no sound.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to DAVID FRIEDMAN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Two pencils set off on erase, Looking sharp as they scratched out a pace; The number one led, Then the two […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,5187,3523,564,5221,4960,5009,5018,4951,5144,5172,3167,487,3651],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41480"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41480"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41480\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41510,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41480\/revisions\/41510"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41480"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41480"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41480"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}