{"id":40997,"date":"2018-10-27T22:32:31","date_gmt":"2018-10-28T02:32:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=40997"},"modified":"2018-10-27T22:46:51","modified_gmt":"2018-10-28T02:46:51","slug":"limerick-off-award-309","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2018\/10\/27\/limerick-off-award-309\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (309)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A hacker of criminal bent
\nPilfered money wherever he went.
\nCyber bloodhounds gave chase,
\nBut this guy was an ace \u2015
\nAnd he left them with nary a (s)cent.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to LISI NORTMAN ARDISSONE, who wins the Special GAMBLING-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick: <\/p>\n

Online poker was making me bold,
\nAnd I thought I knew just when to fold
\nUp until my sweet spouse
\nCried “There’s SNOW in the house!”
\nThen I realized my luck had gone cold.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Michael Moulton, Tim James, David Friedman, Sharon Neeman, Dave Johnson, Dale S. Biggs, Jean McEwen, Brian Allgar,<\/a> Tony Holmes, Ken Gosse, Margie Nairn, and Kirk Miller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“SCENT, SENT, or CENT” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Michael Moulton:<\/p>\n

A man on a peak in a tent
\nWas a happily bean-eating gent.
\nBut he fouled all the air,
\nWhich was thin way up there;
\nLeft him craving a rapid de-scent.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A communist wanted to rent
\nA young whore till his urges were spent.
\nBut this hard-working doxy
\nShowed free-market moxie
\nAnd took him for ev\u2019ry Red cent.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Friedman:<\/p>\n

Sherlock Holmes, peering down with back bent
\nSaid, \u201cWatson, I\u2019m hot on the scent!\u201d
\nBut Watson said, \u201cRot!
\nI rather think not.
\nYou just walked into soggy cement!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman: <\/p>\n

I never will give my consent
\nTo “infer” when “imply” is what’s meant,
\n“There” for “their,” “then” for “than,”
\n“Cant” for “can’t,” “may” for “can,”
\nOr a tab for a first line indent.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

The preacher yells \u201cYou must repent!
\nDamnation shall mark your descent!\u201d
\nBut salvation is not
\nHis intention or thought;
\nThese \u201csinners\u201d keep paying the rent.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dale S. Biggs:<\/p>\n

A skunk doesn’t stink, but its spray
\nKeeps the skunk from becoming fair prey.
\nWith a nasty, rank scent
\nFrom a gland they can vent
\nThey’re the masters of all they survey!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (GAMBLING LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Jean McEwen: <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s luck at casinos in Reno
\nHas run dry, and that new palomino
\nThat he liked at the track
\nHas now started to slack.
\nAll he’s left with to play’s online Keno.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

\u201cIf he wins, I shall eat it!\u201d I spat.
\n\u201cTrump\u2019s a moron, a spoiled, ageing brat!\u201d
\nToday, I am rueing
\nMy wager, still chewing
\nThat huge, indigestible hat.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a dead cert\u2019!\u201d he said of the horse.
\nI believed him and backed it, of course.
\nDead was right! Lost my shirt,
\nWhich, I promise you, hurt,
\nBut not nearly as much as divorce.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman: <\/p>\n

MBS’s accounts all ring hollow,
\nAnd each version is harder to swallow.
\nThough I don’t often wager
\nOn anything major,
\nI’ll bet there’s more bullshit to follow.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ken Gosse:<\/p>\n

He gambled that he could make sense
\nOf a string of unlucky events,
\nBut the dots on his dice
\nLike the best men and mice
\nWent awry. (Not the kind that ferments.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

His casinos went bankrupt. This lout
\nIs a screw-up, without any doubt.
\nHe\u2019s incompetent, vain.
\nIt\u2019s increasingly plain
\nThat we, as a nation, crapped out.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Margie Nairn:<\/p>\n

My father would stop off for gambling;
\nOn his way home from work he was rambling.
\nHis money was spent
\nDown to every last cent,
\nSo for rent we would always be scrambling.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kirk Miller:<\/p>\n

For people like me, there\u2019s no doubt
\nThat the gambling wheel carries much clout.
\nWhen I play, if I lose
\nLots of cash, I may choose
\nTo gamble more. Don\u2019t roulette out.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n

Filed under Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: A hacker of criminal bent Pilfered money wherever he went. Cyber bloodhounds gave chase, But this guy was an ace \u2015 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[42],"tags":[4003,5199,4465,5187,5106,4842,3284,5009,5018,4526,5200,3621,5052,3167,5145,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40997"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40997"}],"version-history":[{"count":31,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40997\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41047,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40997\/revisions\/41047"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40997"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40997"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40997"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}