{"id":39906,"date":"2017-12-23T21:52:35","date_gmt":"2017-12-24T01:52:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=39906"},"modified":"2017-12-23T21:59:44","modified_gmt":"2017-12-24T01:59:44","slug":"limerick-off-award-288","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2017\/12\/23\/limerick-off-award-288\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (288)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to MIKE SHULMAN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this limerick:<\/p>\n

A wicked and goatish old coot,
\nAlthough brazen and horny to boot,
\nHad along with his gumption,
\nErectile dysfunction,
\nWhich rendered his naughtiness moot.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to STEVE WHITRED,<\/a> who wins the Special HYPOCRISY-Themed Limerick Award for this limerick:<\/p>\n

Steve Whitred:<\/p>\n

They hate trannies with all of their might,
\nThink that heaven is straight, male, and white,
\nClaim they’re children of god,
\nBut then give Trump the nod;
\nThey’re the smug sanctimonious right.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kathleen Bartoletti, Steve Whitred,<\/a> Tim James, Dave Johnson, Ann Martin<\/a>, Sue Dulley, and Brian Allgar. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“BOOT” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Kathleen Bartoletti: <\/p>\n

“Your disease, I’m afraid, is acute,”
\nSaid the doc, “and all treatment is moot;
\nHere’s my bill, pay it fast,
\nFor odds are you won’t last
\nLong enough to lace up that tall boot.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred: <\/p>\n

There was an old gal in a boot
\nWho had children. Their number is moot.
\nGave them broth and some bread,
\nSent them straight off to bed,
\nThen exchanged them on eBay for loot.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

The new intern was really quite cute,
\nAnd the boss copped a feel, the old brute.
\nThen a well-aimed right boot
\nPut a dent in his glute.
\nAnd the shiner she gave him? A beaut!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson: <\/p>\n

She married a wealthy, old coot,
\nWho\u2019s gruff as the sole of a boot.
\nAsked why, she\u2019d contend:
\n\u201cI\u2019m just helping him spend
\nSome quality time with his loot.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ann Martin: <\/p>\n

There are people who don’t give a hoot
\nFor our planet, but choose to pollute;
\nAs we wade through the flood
\nWith our shoes caked in mud,
\nLet’s give those old Trumpsters the boot!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley: <\/p>\n

In Britain, the “trunk” is the “boot.”
\nThe “hood” is the “bonnet.” (How cute!)
\nThey burn “petrol.” Not “gas!”
\n“Overtake,” never “pass”
\nWhile the “horn” (still a “horn”) goes “toot-toot.”<\/p>\n

They sit in the rightmost front seat
\nTo cruise the left side of the street.
\nWhen they drive a new route
\nFirst their “sat nav” they boot,
\nThen shift gears using clutches and feet.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (HYPOCRISY LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

Health or wealth? Dr. Carson has both,
\nAnd his bank account shows healthy growth.
\nWhy are homeless folk crying
\nAnd sick people dying?
\nThe Doc\u2019s hypocritical oath.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

The minister started to yell:
\n\u201cYou sinners are going to Hell!\u201d
\nThat night at the ranch,
\nTo a madam named Blanche,
\nHe asked \u201cWhere is that sweet Annabelle?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to MIKE SHULMAN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this limerick: A wicked and goatish old coot, Although brazen and horny to boot, Had along with his gumption, Erectile dysfunction, Which rendered his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[3441,4003,4465,4849,5009,5018,5096,3342,3369,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39906"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39906"}],"version-history":[{"count":27,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39906\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39943,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39906\/revisions\/39943"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39906"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39906"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39906"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}