{"id":39859,"date":"2017-12-09T22:47:41","date_gmt":"2017-12-10T02:47:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=39859"},"modified":"2017-12-11T13:31:22","modified_gmt":"2017-12-11T17:31:22","slug":"limerick-off-award-287","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2017\/12\/09\/limerick-off-award-287\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (287)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to KIRK MILLER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

The golfer whose game hit a snag
\nAnd whose shots landed far from the flag,
\nSaid his caddy\u2019s to blame
\nFor advice on his game.
\nSo the caddy\u2019s left holding the bag.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Special COWARDICE-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Donald thinks he\u2019s one hell of a fellow.
\n\u201cNothing scares me!\u201d the braggart will bellow.
\nBut as Mueller draws near,
\nDonald trembles with fear;
\nBoth his hair and his belly are yellow.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to MARK KANE, who wins the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

Turning tricks in hotels was her game.
\nAnd with most johns the work was the same:
\nThey’d agree on a price
\nFor his pleasures and vice,
\nThen she’d leave shortly after he came.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to SUZANNE HEYMANN, who wins a special Limerick Puzzle Award for her 3-verse limerick. Here’s how she describes her puzzle challenge: “Find the ‘hidden’ names of what are mostly board games. (Some use dice\/die or cards.) There are 13 in total.”<\/p>\n

You know, being a spy and a dame
\nIs a scary and dangerous game.
\nIf I fail in my mission,
\nI soon will be fishin’
\nFor a graveyard position (oh shame!)<\/p>\n

I am sorry; that boat ain’t a yahtzee.
\nI risk boarding that battleship nazi.
\nThough it seems so taboo,
\nI just hadn’t a clue
\nWhat the dirty minds knew of a plot, see?<\/p>\n

My plan was no trivial pursuit.
\nI must scrabble for facts and then scoot.
\n“Operation Titanium”
\nDon’t boggle my cranium.
\nI found the uranium! Let’s shoot!\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Suzanne Heymann, Dave Johnson, Mike Shulman, David Reddekopp,<\/a> Ailsa McKillop, Sharon Neeman, Tim James, Steve Whitred<\/a>, Sue Dulley, and Brian Allgar. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“GAME” RHYME DIVISION)
\nSuzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

I was watching young people play Twister
\nWith some body parts grabbed by some mister.
\nBut the twist in the game
\nUnexpectedly came
\nWhen his gonads were squeezed by his sister.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

Her boyfriend just wasn\u2019t the same,
\nHis excuses \u2013 increasingly lame.
\nThen later she found
\nHe was playing around;
\nMaintaining his skin in the game.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mike Shulman:<\/p>\n

A sportsman with mis’rable aim
\nHunted roadkill in place of real game.
\nWhen he bagged a flat skunk,
\nHis wife growled in her funk:
\n\u201cThat\u2019s gamy, which isn\u2019t the same.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Reddekopp:<\/p>\n

The hunter went out with his daughter.
\nHe thought it was time that he taught her,
\nSo she said “Sure, I’m game!”
\nHe then turned and took aim
\nWith his gun, pulled the trigger, and shot her!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ailsa McKillop: <\/p>\n

On the wall it hung, stitched, in a frame,
\nThe fond motto of Scots to proclaim:
\n\u201cEast or West, Hame is Best.\u201d
\nThe American guest
\nSaid \u201cThis Hame guy\u2014just what is his game?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman:<\/p>\n

A young woman, Lorena<\/a> by name,
\nHad a man with a really bad game;
\nIn disgust, she one day
\nCut his joystick away.
\n(Though repaired, it was never the same.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mike Shulman:<\/p>\n

Mary Lou felt her passions enflame
\nPlaying handball with men without shame.
\nSaying, \u201cCan we be besties?\u201d
\nShe\u2019d fondle their testes.
\n\u201cIsn\u2019t handball the name of this game?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (COWARDICE LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

\nCall it bravery, gumption or guts;
\nYou\u2019ll find none among GOP sluts.
\nWhile they sell out the poor,
\nCorporations get more.
\nThey\u2019re all cowards. No ifs, ands or buts.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred: <\/p>\n

To our shame we’re the ones who empowered
\nA bully, a boor, and a coward.
\nAnd I know time will come
\nWe’ll be rid of the bum.
\nI just wish it was happening now-ward.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

When I’m out for a walk or a jog
\nAnd approached by a big off-leash dog,
\nMy saunter is soured.
\nI’m cowed, I’m a coward;
\nMy jog soon turns into a slog.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

At the dentist, I\u2019m really quite brave,
\nBut each morning, I gibber and rave
\nAt the blood and the pain,
\nSwearing \u201cNever again!\u201d
\nI\u2019m a coward when having to shave.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to KIRK MILLER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: The golfer whose game hit a snag And whose shots landed far from the flag, Said his caddy\u2019s to blame For […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[3559,4003,4465,4525,3284,5009,5018,175,5096,5052,3342,3369,4533,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39859"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39859"}],"version-history":[{"count":29,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39859\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39900,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39859\/revisions\/39900"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39859"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39859"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39859"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}