{"id":39802,"date":"2017-11-25T22:59:28","date_gmt":"2017-11-26T02:59:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=39802"},"modified":"2017-11-25T23:05:09","modified_gmt":"2017-11-26T03:05:09","slug":"limerick-off-award-286","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2017\/11\/25\/limerick-off-award-286\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (286)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to DIANE GROOTHUIS, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny verse, which is both a whined-rhyme and a revenge limerick:<\/p>\n

The neighbor\u2019s dog whimpered and whined,
\nTill it drove me quite out of my mind.
\nTo stop it I stoned it,
\nThen shredded and boned it.
\n\u201cA doggy bag? You are so kind!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins the Special REVENGE-Themed Limerick Award for this funny 2-verse limerick:<\/p>\n

He filmed their encounter for kicks;
\nThen secretly posted the pics.
\nHer father, a pro
\nWith intelligence flow,
\nPursued a conviction that sticks.<\/p>\n

To those who would purposely shame
\nFor revenge or just playing a game,
\nRemember this tale;
\nYou could wind up in jail
\nAs well as the Dick Hall of Fame.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Sharon Neeman, Graham Lester, Kirk Miller, Steve Whitred<\/a>, Marty Gerendasy, Randolph Wagner, David Reddekopp,<\/a> Dave Johnson, and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cWHINED or WINED or UNWIND\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO REVENGE LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar <\/p>\n

\u201cTo take action or not?\u201d Hamlet whined.
\n\u201cAvenging my Dad would be kind;
\nThere are arguments for,
\nBut against, there are more….
\nI simply can\u2019t make up my mind.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman’s 2-Verser:<\/p>\n

He scratched and he howled and he whined
\nAs she did a full strip, bump and grind.
\nWhen she shed the last bits
\nAnd revealed quim and tits,
\nHe thought he’d go out of his mind…<\/p>\n

On the phone, she revealed to her sister
\nThat her husband had wronged her and dissed her.
\n“But I used that old spell
\nThat you taught me so well —
\nNow he’s such a good doggie, my Mister!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“WHINED or WINED or UNWIND” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Graham Lester:<\/p>\n

A little while after I\u2019ve dined,
\nI do something quite unrefined,
\nBut don\u2019t say I \u201cpuked\u201d \u2014
\nYou\u2019ll be sternly rebuked!
\nI\u2019d prefer you to say I \u201cun-wined.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kirk Miller:<\/p>\n

When the judge arrived home, his wife, Kay,
\nTold their kids, \u201cFrom your dad, stay away.
\nHe just needs to unwind,
\n\u2019Cause we\u2019re likely to find
\nHe is stressed from a long, trying day.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred: <\/p>\n

I’ve been whiskied, tequila’d and wined.
\nInspiration’s been easy to find.
\nPoured out lims by the score,
\nEven some you’d adore,
\nBut they all were just 3 or 4 lined.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Marty Gerendasy: <\/p>\n

A young man was delighted to find
\nAn exciting new way to unwind;
\nHad it all well in hand
\nTill one day it was banned.
\nMom said “Stop it or else you’ll go blind!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Randolph Wagner:<\/p>\n

With his crotch rubbing Helen’s behind,
\nParis relished their hot bump and grind.
\nBut his Trojan attire
\nSheathed virile desire.
\n“Bareback buggery’s better!” she whined.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (REVENGE LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

As their Thanksgiving dinner drew nigh,
\nThe turkey was starting to cry.
\nBut revenge would be sweet
\nWhen they chewed on her meat \u2013
\nShe had bird flu! The diners would die.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Reddekopp:<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no end to the trouble you\u2019re in
\nIf, Mad, you commit this great sin:
\nTake heed what I say
\nYou WILL rue the day
\nIf you don\u2019t pick my limerick to win.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

\nA road-rager flashing his light
\nFlipped them off as he passed on the right.
\nMoments later they saw
\nHe\u2019d been stopped by the law;
\n\u201cThat\u2019s him!\u201d she said. \u201cThanks and good night.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

There once was a weirdo named Moore
\nWho cruised high schools and malls. But what for?
\nTeenage girls! If he knew them,
\nHe wanted to screw them.
\nWith luck, they\u2019ll now even the score.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

He was grabbed by a fist hard as steel;
\nThe Donald emitted a squeal
\nLike a pig at the slaughter.
\n\u201cHey, Dad!\u201d said his daughter,
\n\u201cThis grabbing thing \u2013 how does it feel?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to DIANE GROOTHUIS, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny verse, which is both a whined-rhyme and a revenge limerick: The neighbor\u2019s dog whimpered and whined, Till it drove me quite out […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[4003,4465,4525,2747,5089,3284,5009,5018,4658,4763,5052,3342,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39802"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39802"}],"version-history":[{"count":37,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39802\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39851,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39802\/revisions\/39851"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39802"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39802"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39802"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}