{"id":39478,"date":"2017-06-24T22:01:12","date_gmt":"2017-06-25T02:01:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=39478"},"modified":"2017-06-24T22:20:00","modified_gmt":"2017-06-25T02:20:00","slug":"limerick-off-award-280","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2017\/06\/24\/limerick-off-award-280\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (280)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to KIRK MILLER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Every Brave and his tribe had to waive
\nAll the rights to the land that they\u2019d crave.
\nSo I hope that you see
\nIt\u2019s the land of the free,
\nBut no longer the home of the Brave.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to MARTY GERENDASY, who wins the Special Graduation-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Best of luck to the new group of grads!
\nWhat a fine bunch of lassies and lads.
\nMay they all have success
\nAs they clean up the mess
\nThat was left by their moms and their dads!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

They thought he was safe in his grave,
\nThe liar, the traitor, the knave.
\nBut they heard a faint moan,
\nAnd the soil was upthrown
\nAs a tiny hand started to wave.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Marty Gerendasy, Fred Bortz,<\/a> Dave Johnson, Suzanne Heymann, Hildy Zampella, Byron Miller, and David Reddekopp.<\/a> Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“WAVE\/WAIVE” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

He\u2019d come on to her hard at the rave
\nWhen she\u2019d flashed him a wink and a wave.
\nBut he started to freak
\nWhen they danced cheek to cheek
\n\u2018Cause the \u201cgal\u201d was in need of a shave.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Marty Gerendasy: <\/p>\n

With a wink and a smile and a wave
\nShe could make any guy misbehave.
\nAnd she’d always defend
\nHer attempts to befriend.
\n“I’m just giving the boys what they crave.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes that star-spangled banner yet wave
\nO\u2019er our country, the Home of the Brave?
\nIs our nation still free?\u201d
\nWonders Francis Scott Key,
\nAs our forefathers roll in the grave.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

Now Trump is refusing to save
\nOur earth from the sun\u2019s early grave.
\nSo dumb, he can\u2019t see
\nMar-a-Lago will be
\nA House with a permanent wave.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

His long beard had the kinkiest wave,
\nAnd his wife asked, \u201cDear, why don\u2019t you shave?
\nAt least use some shampoo
\nTo remove all the goo
\nNo more nooky if you don\u2019t behave!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (GRADUATION LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

Congrats to the grads! It\u2019s your day!
\nLet all that you\u2019ve learned light your way!
\nNow the world looks to you!
\nTo your own self be true,
\nOn this National Day of Clich\u00e9.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Hildy Zampella: <\/p>\n

Oh good heavens we just got one more!
\nGraduation announcements galore!
\nAt last count, twenty three.
\nWill I ever be free
\nFrom this card-buying, check-writing chore?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Byron Miller:<\/p>\n

If Trump ever speaks to the nation,
\nTo state how he loves education,
\nThe vacuous coot
\nWill expect a salute
\nFor his primary school graduation.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

The valedictorian\u2019s talk,
\nThat proud \u201cPomp and Circumstance\u201d walk;
\nHooray for the grads!
\nWhile mothers and dads
\nThink \u201cHow do we get out of hock?”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

He may have been last in his class,
\nThe one who just managed to pass,
\nBut be careful. Don\u2019t mock
\nWhen you visit that doc
\nWith the proctoscope shoved up your ass.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Reddekopp:<\/p>\n

We\u2019re all graduates. Everyone passes!
\nThough we sleepwalked through all of our classes,
\nAs the final bell rings
\nWe\u2019ve not learned any things.
\nNow we\u2019re out in the world \u2013 on our asses!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

Today should be happy, not sad;
\nYou gained a lot more than you had.
\nHard lessons were learned
\nFor the title you\u2019ve earned:
\nA Trump University grad!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to KIRK MILLER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Every Brave and his tribe had to waive All the rights to the land that they\u2019d crave. So I hope that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,2578,4465,4525,3523,5073,3284,5009,5018,4658,4533,3167,487,523],"class_list":["post-39478","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","category-poetry-prompts","tag-brian-allgar","tag-byron-miller","tag-dave-johnson","tag-david-reddekopp","tag-fred-bortz","tag-hildy-zampella","tag-kirk-miller","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-marty-gerendasy","tag-suzanne-heymann","tag-tim-james","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39478","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39478"}],"version-history":[{"count":24,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39478\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39514,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39478\/revisions\/39514"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}