{"id":39454,"date":"2017-06-10T22:43:56","date_gmt":"2017-06-11T02:43:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=39454"},"modified":"2017-06-10T22:43:56","modified_gmt":"2017-06-11T02:43:56","slug":"limerick-off-award-279","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2017\/06\/10\/limerick-off-award-279\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (279)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A traveling salesman named Bo
\nCruised the bar for an hour or so.
\nWith prospects so light,
\nHis companion that night
\nHas an air valve and never says \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special Bullying-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

I know a young man named Jabez
\nWho\u2019s a bully and liar. He says
\nAll non-white people suck.
\nHe is such a huge schmuck
\nThat I fear that one day he\u2019ll be Prez.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sharon Neeman, Sue Dulley, Brian Allgar, Tim James, and Dave Johnson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“KNOW\/NO” RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO BULLY LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Sharon Neeman: <\/p>\n

“Bear and nurse; wash and clean; cook and sew;
\nNever let your intelligence show” —
\nIf, like me, you would hate
\nThis dystopian fate,
\nDon’t be bullied! Stand up and say “No!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“KNOW\/NO” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

Times are tough for us butchers, you know;
\nI beef because trade is so slow.
\nBut the man who sells beans
\nStill has plenty of greens,
\nAnd the baker is rolling in dough.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman:<\/p>\n

Oh, the terrible things that he’s said!
\nThey could cost him his job — or his head!
\nBut the Times<\/a> seems to know
\nHow to end this sad show:
\n“Stop tweeting and go back to bed.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

Strong booze is bacteria’s foe;
\nRaw hamburger’s bad, we all know,
\nSo cook it right through
\nOn a grill or in stew
\nAnd consume with a pint of Merlot.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

The creek in our woods couldn\u2019t flow;
\nIt backed up, causing all kinds of woe.
\nWhy must beavers all strain
\nTo cause this kind of pain?
\nThe answer: I\u2019m dammed if I know.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (BULLY LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

The food-canning factory\u2019s chief
\nWas a bully beyond all belief.
\nWhen he fell in the chopper,
\nThey thought it quite proper
\nTo sell him as \u201ccanned bully beef.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson says:<\/p>\n

Earl figured he\u2019d rough up a guy
\nWho seemed rather quiet and shy.
\nBut testing an ace
\nFrom the martial-arts place
\nLeft him blinking with one working eye.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve a ski run that\u2019s called Woolly Bully.
\nI haven\u2019t explored it quite fully;
\nI\u2019m afraid if I fall
\nOff the edge, then to haul
\nMe back up would take rope and a pulley.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: A traveling salesman named Bo Cruised the bar for an hour or so. With prospects so light, His companion that night […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[4003,4465,5009,5018,5052,3369,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39454"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39454"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39454\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39474,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39454\/revisions\/39474"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39454"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39454"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39454"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}