{"id":39425,"date":"2017-05-27T22:14:06","date_gmt":"2017-05-28T02:14:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=39425"},"modified":"2017-05-27T22:22:14","modified_gmt":"2017-05-28T02:22:14","slug":"limerick-off-award-278","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2017\/05\/27\/limerick-off-award-278\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (278)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick, inspired by real events:<\/a><\/p>\n

The balloons that he tied to his chair
\nContained hydrogen (lighter than air.)
\nHe soared up for a ride,
\nLit a cig, and then died.
\nThat’s a Darwin Award win, right there.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins the Special SNOBBISHNESS-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

\u201cMy parents are snooty.\u201d she said
\nTo her male-stripper boyfriend named Jed.
\nHe answered this way:
\n\u201cLet\u2019s simply just say
\nI\u2019m a mover and shaker instead.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Suzanne Heymann, Tim James, Randolph Wagner, Sue Dulley, Dave Johnson, Patrice Stewart, and Fred Bortz.<\/a> Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cRIDE\/DERIDE\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO SNOBBISHNESS LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

\u201cFar be it for me to deride
\nYour grammar and spelling,\u201d he sighed.
\n\u201cThough no snob, I feel faint
\nWhen I hear you say \u201cain\u2019t\u201d \u2013
\nIt\u2019s a thing that I cannot abide.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

Soon after their overseas ride
\nAs Melania stood near his side,
\nTo her, he allotted
\nHis hand, which she swatted;
\nThat promptly bespotted his pride.<\/p>\n

The old snob, one day, has to admit
\nAs a husband, he\u2019s fully unfit.
\nHe deserves all the strife
\nComing soon in his life;
\nThat\u2019s for treating his wife like pure shit!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A cowboy took way too much pride
\nIn his bronc-busting talents. He tried
\nTo impose by brute force
\nHis mad skills on a horse
\n(Which he promptly commenced to de-ride).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“RIDE\/DERIDE” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Randolph Wagner:<\/p>\n

“Your ladies lack toned buns of steel,”
\nQuipped a patron who wasn’t genteel.
\n“I will never deride
\nDerri\u00e8res that are wide,”
\nAnswered Peter Paul Rubens with zeal.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

The prostitute, skirt short and tight
\nGot picked up by some guy, not too bright.
\nShe had put sex aside
\nBut said, \u201cThanks for the ride!\u201d
\nThen away she would slide in the night.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

The Groom was sarcastic and snide;
\nHer wishes he\u2019d just override.
\nHe was brutal and shitty;
\nThe Best Man felt pity,
\nAnd so I eloped with the Bride.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

When a person is hitching a ride
\nWith his thumb sticking out to the side
\nI mouth “NOT going far”
\n(Speeding by in my car)
\nBut I’m sure that he knows that I lied.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (SNOBBISHNESS LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

Some very rich people agree
\nThey\u2019re better \u2013 it\u2019s so plain to see;
\nAnd should be admired
\nFor how they\u2019ve acquired
\nThe golden commodes where they pee.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Patrice Stewart:<\/p>\n

\nMany years had the Haughty One reigned,
\nDuring which all her friends had refrained
\nFrom revealing the truth
\nAbout Jennifer Ruth:
\nHer connections to blue blood were feigned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz: <\/p>\n

Born to wealth, having blood that runs blue,
\nYou treat me like dirt on your shoe.
\nBut no-sirree-Bob,
\nI’m the one who’s the snob,
\nFor I know I’m far better than you.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick, inspired by real events: The balloons that he tied to his chair Contained hydrogen (lighter than air.) He soared up for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,103],"tags":[4003,4465,3523,5009,5018,2225,4763,3369,4533,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39425"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39425"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39425\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39451,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39425\/revisions\/39451"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39425"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39425"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39425"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}