{"id":39276,"date":"2017-04-15T22:53:09","date_gmt":"2017-04-16T02:53:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=39276"},"modified":"2017-04-15T23:00:12","modified_gmt":"2017-04-16T03:00:12","slug":"limerick-off-award-275","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2017\/04\/15\/limerick-off-award-275\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (275)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to BYRON MILLER a\/k\/a ERROL NIMBLY, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

At noon, if you see us drift by,
\nIn my hot air balloon on the fly,
\nI’ll be serving a luncheon.
\nIt’s quiche we’ll be munchin’.
\nWe’re eating a pie in the sky.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins the Special Clumsiness-Themed Limerick Award for this PAIR<\/strong> of funny limericks. Please note that this is a 2-in-1 limerick. One limerick is centered and in bold, and the other is in italics, half to the left and half to the right of his bold-faced limerick. <\/p>\n

You idiot! Watch<\/em>I’m a klutz. But I’m truly contrite,<\/strong> where you’re going!<\/em>
\nI believe an apo<\/em>So I’ll hide on this Limerick site.<\/strong>logy’s owing,<\/em>
\nYou oaf. You’ve<\/em> Since the writers are agile,<\/strong> reversed<\/em>
\nInto where I ver<\/em>And nothing here’s fragile<\/strong>sed first…<\/em>
\nNow this limeri<\/em>I can’t damage anything — right?<\/strong>ck’s wrecked, and needs towing.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to JESSE FRANKOVICH, who wins the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this “acrostic” limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

K<\/b>icked a table and let out a yell;
\nL<\/b>ost my balance and awkwardly fell.
\nU<\/b>naware it was there,
\nT<\/b>humped my head on a chair.
\nZ<\/b>apped myself with a taser, as well!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Suzanne Heymann, Kathleen Bartoletti,<\/a> Brian Allgar, Marty Gerendasy, Jeanine Silverio, Jesse Frankovich, Fred Bortz,<\/a> Konrad Schwoerke, Tim James, David Reddekopp<\/a>, Sharon Neeman, Will T. Laughlin,<\/a> and Byron Ives. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cBuy\/Bye\/By\/Bi\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO CLUMSINESS LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

If you think you are smooth when you bellow,
\nJust remember, you really are yellow.
\nYou’re a scared, clumsy guy.
\nYou think ‘tough’ gets you by.
\nYou’re a bull-in-a-china-shop fellow!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“Buy\/Bye\/By\/Bi” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Kathleen Bartoletti:<\/p>\n

He said crossly, “My throat’s going dry,
\nCome on, Kathy, it’s your turn to buy;”
\nBut while quaffing his Bud
\nHe fell down in the mud,
\nSo I toasted, “Here’s mud in your eye!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

They sneered when I said I would buy
\nA fat pig, and then teach it to fly.
\n\u201cAre you crazy?\u201d they laughed,
\n\u201cPigs with wings? Are you daft?\u201d
\nI pointed to Trump, flying high.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Marty Gerendasy: <\/p>\n

There was a young lady named Vi
\nWho was proudly and openly bi.
\nSo she wasn’t upset
\nWhen the man that she met
\nConfessed that he wasn’t a guy.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jeanine Silverio:<\/p>\n

She said with a sad heartfelt sigh:
\n\u201cI just have to ask \u2018Are you bi?’\u201d
\nI took in those lips
\nAnd incredible hips
\nAnd I told her, \u201cYou\u2019ve just turned me \u2018try.’\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jesse Frankovich:<\/p>\n

When the love of my life said goodbye,
\nFor a while I did little but cry.
\nThen I longed for a do
\nWith a new style and hue\u2014
\nI just wanted to curl up and dye.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz: <\/p>\n

He’ll sleep with a gal or a guy,
\nAnd he’ll pay to escape when they try
\nHis case in the court,
\nSaying “Judge, be a sport.
\nLet this guy who is bi buy a bye.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James, for his A Christian\u2019s Lament:<\/p>\n

I think that I\u2019ll now say goodbye
\nTo my boss, who\u2019s a miserable guy.
\nAll my colleagues at work
\nSaid \u201cShove off!\u201d to this jerk.
\nAnd the name of the dude? William Bligh.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (CLUMSINESS-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

An airline showed clumsy PR.
\nAnd their customer service? Bizarre.
\nIf you\u2019re not in first class,
\nThey just might kick your ass.
\nIf you\u2019re not into pain, go by car.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Konrad Schwoerke:<\/p>\n

There once was a charmer named Ed
\nWho could get any babe into bed.
\nWas he accident-prone
\nWith these chicks he would bone?
\n\u2019Cause I heard he kept knocking \u2019em dead.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Reddekopp:<\/p>\n

There once was a man from Dubai
\nWho gave Kama Sutra a try.
\nWith creative coitions
\nAnd parlous positions,
\nHe managed to poke out an eye.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman:<\/p>\n

My very first date was a klutz!
\nHe would fidget and fumble and futz,
\nAnd while walking and joking
\nWhere people were smoking,
\nHe\u2019d always bump into their butts.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

He was awkward, and trembled with fear
\nAs he tried to unhook her brassiere.
\nSoon her straps got so mangled
\nAnd twisted and tangled
\nThey\u2019d baffle a trained engineer.<\/p>\n

He wrestled and pulled, but his fits
\nJust further entangled his mitts.
\nSo she fought him, and struck him\u2026
\nBut though she\u2019s unstuck him,
\nI fear he\u2019s rotated her tits.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Byron Ives:<\/p>\n

Of her dressmaking skills she had doubt.
\n\u201cI sew like an oaf!\u201d she would pout.
\nHer hubby said, \u201cChill,
\nIt\u2019s a cheap piece of twill,
\nAnd nothing worth hemming about.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to BYRON MILLER a\/k\/a ERROL NIMBLY, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: At noon, if you see us drift by, In my hot air balloon on the fly, I’ll be […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,3971,2578,4525,3523,4764,4635,4849,2538,5009,5018,4658,5052,4533,3167,3543,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39276"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39276"}],"version-history":[{"count":37,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39276\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39336,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39276\/revisions\/39336"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}