{"id":39228,"date":"2017-04-01T23:38:41","date_gmt":"2017-04-02T03:38:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=39228"},"modified":"2017-04-01T23:57:36","modified_gmt":"2017-04-02T03:57:36","slug":"limerick-off-award-274","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2017\/04\/01\/limerick-off-award-274\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (274)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to JESSE FRANKOVICH, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Concentration is what you’ll require
\nIf you’re searing some sirloins with fire
\nOn a towering grill
\nOn the top of a hill,
\nFor the steaks will have never been higher.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins the Special POWER-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

That Greedy Old Party in power
\nKeeps screwing the poor by the hour.
\nThose cretinous heels
\nWant to crash Meals on Wheels
\nSo the rich can have more to devour.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to MARTY GERENDASY, who wins the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

It was dark down at Joe’s Bar and Grill.
\nNot a sound. It was perfectly still.
\nHad to kill Happy Hour;
\nThey’d lost all their power.
\nMust remember to pay that damned bill!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Chris Gross, Brian Allgar, Sharon Neeman, Tim James, Kathleen Bartoletti, Jeanine Silverio, Fred Bortz,<\/a> Kirk Miller, and Dave Johnson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (GRILL-Rhyme DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Chris Gross:<\/p>\n

\nYou remember the nursery rhyme drill,
\nWhen two kids took a stroll up a hill?
\nSeems that Jack tumbled down
\nAnd broke off his new crown,
\nAfter Jill got all up in his grill.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

\u201cAs a chef, I am great!\u201d was his boast.
\n\u201cI can cook the books better than most.
\nThough I don\u2019t have the skill
\nTo put bread on the grill,
\nI can turn the whole country to toast.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman:<\/p>\n

No, I\u2019m not being rude, Auntie Jill.
\nYes, you are a good driver… but still,
\nIf you must hit a cop,
\nYou\u2019d be wiser to stop
\nDisplaying his pants on your grille!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A man at the town bar and grill
\nAte and drank with abandon until
\nHe took note of his weight.
\nThen he planned his estate,
\nProving where there\u2019s a weigh there\u2019s a will.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

The whale, a baleen, had a grille
\nTo filter the plankton and krill,
\nBut she ran out of luck
\nThe day Jonah got stuck
\nAnd she just couldn\u2019t swallow the pill.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kathleen Bartoletti:<\/p>\n

\nThe scene: a spring day, warm and still;
\nTwo lovers, and meat on the grill;
\nJust as things start to sizzle,
\nRain starts with a drizzle
\nAnd fizzles their afternoon thrill.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman:<\/p>\n

Come over! There\u2019s steak on the grill,
\nAnd beer and martinis. Come chill!
\nOne catch: our discussion
\nCan NOT mention \u201cRussian,\u201d
\n\u201cThe travel ban,\u201d \u201cgolf\u201d or \u201cThe Bill.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jeanine Silverio:<\/p>\n

Never felt I was over the hill
\n(Though I\u2019m bald and lost most of my grill),
\nUp until summer break
\nWhen I barbecued steak;
\nNow it\u2019s fall and I\u2019m gumming it still.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz’s Patio Store Confidential <\/p>\n

Hissed the barbecue spit, “Please be still,
\nOr you’ll never grow up as a grill!
\nThe humans can’t know
\nThat at night, we all glow.”
\nThe hibachi responded, “I will!”<\/p>\n

From the pool section came a reply.
\n“I’ll protect her. Lord knows, I will try.
\nShe brings me such joy,
\nBecause I am a buoy
\nWho loves grills. That I cannot deny.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (POWER-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

He had finally got her alone
\nWhen the power went out. With a moan,
\nHe discovered that night
\nShe was quite a delight \u2014
\nFor his circuits weren\u2019t all that got blown.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kirk Miller:<\/p>\n

A snow storm left people without
\nAny power, so folks are no doubt
\nNeither cheered nor consoled
\nWhen it\u2019s bitterly cold
\nHearing: \u201cHave an ice day and chill out.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

The power of FAUX News upset her.
\n(You\u2019ll notice there\u2019s one extra letter.)
\nAnd yes, I agree
\nThere should only be three;
\nRemoving the \u201cA\u201d makes it better.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman:<\/p>\n

In this dark and, yes, desperate hour,
\nLooking up at the lights of Trump Tower,
\nI remember with dread
\nWhat George Orwell once said:
\n\u201cThe object of power is power.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to JESSE FRANKOVICH, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Concentration is what you’ll require If you’re searing some sirloins with fire On a towering grill On the top of a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,64],"tags":[4003,5049,4465,3523,4764,4635,4849,3284,5009,5018,4658,5052,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39228"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39228"}],"version-history":[{"count":30,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39228\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39275,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39228\/revisions\/39275"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39228"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39228"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39228"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}