{"id":39050,"date":"2017-02-04T23:16:50","date_gmt":"2017-02-05T03:16:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=39050"},"modified":"2017-02-04T23:33:59","modified_gmt":"2017-02-05T03:33:59","slug":"limerick-off-award-270","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2017\/02\/04\/limerick-off-award-270\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (270)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

His horn-rims, bow tie and slicked hair
\nAre so retro that people just stare.
\nHe\u2019s been growing rotund-er,
\nWhich leads me to wonder
\nHow someone so round can be square.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN,<\/a> who wins the Special DISHONESTY-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Dear Kelly Ann Conway: I swear
\nOn my best day, I never would dare
\nTo tap-dance like you,
\nClaiming something is true.
\nAdmiringly yours,
\n\u2014 Fred Astaire.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Dave Johnson, J Cosmo Newbery,<\/a> Brian Allgar, Wendy Playter, Will T. Laughlin,<\/a> Tim James,
\nRichard Campbell,<\/a> Sharon Neeman, and Kirk Miller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (STARE\/STAIR RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Dave Johnson <\/p>\n

She stood by the uppermost stair;
\nThen rode down the banister bare.
\nHer lover\u2019s surmise
\nFrom the look in her eyes:
\n\u201cShe\u2019s warming my dinner with care.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

J Cosmo Newbery:<\/p>\n

When Godiva paraded, all bare,
\nThe townsfolk agreed not to stare.
\nBut temptation was steep,
\nAnd young Tom took a peep,
\nThen swore he’d just looked at her hair.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

When your gaze is a menacing stare,
\nAnd your small, piggy eyes seem to glare,
\nAnd your mouth is agape \u2013
\nNo, you\u2019re not a Great Ape,
\nJust the POTUS they\u2019re calling \u201cMein Herr\u201d.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wendy Playter:<\/p>\n

A classic rock fan named Janelle
\nWent down to her basement, but fell.
\nHer Led Zeppelin flair
\nWas smashed on the stair,
\nAnd now it\u2019s a stairway to hell.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

World leaders continue to stare
\nAt the man with the ludicrous hair:
\nThey find it bewild\u2019rin\u2019
\nThat refugee children
\nGive Trump such a pants-wetting scare.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

When he and his bride tied the knot
\nTheir relations were frequent and hot.
\nThey made love on the stair.
\nStanding up. In a chair.
\nThe result: a bad back is his lot.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Richard Campbell:<\/p>\n

The mountain path rose like a stair,
\nBut it led to a grizzly bear\u2019s lair.
\nWhat I did not foresee
\nWas that good-tasting me
\nWould become that damn bear\u2019s dinner fare.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DISHONESTY LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sharon Neeman:<\/p>\n

Alternative facts are so crass!
\nTheir users lack wit, sense and class \u2014
\nBut oh, how they\u2019ll grieve
\nWhen the web that they weave
\nTrips them up and they fall on their (_|_)!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

I suspect that Trump lies when he speaks
\nAbout Vlad and the lev\u2019rage he seeks.
\n\u201cMoney, hookers and pee?
\nHe\u2019s got nothing on me!\u201d
\nPity Trump; he\u2019s been damaged by leaks.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kirk Miller:<\/p>\n

Politicians have tried to disguise
\nTheir false statements, a ploy I despise.
\nThey\u2019re not alternate facts
\nOr fake news. Each distracts
\nFrom the truth. They are just simply lies!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin: (Be sure to click on his line 5 link for the translation and Russian pronunciation.)<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Trump? We have all heard you bellow
\nThat you don\u2019t enjoy showers of yellow.
\nBut the truth must be told:
\nAre you Russian-controlled?\u201d
\nSaid Trump: \u201c\u044d\u0442\u043e \u043d\u0435 \u0442\u0432\u043e\u0435 \u0434\u0435\u043b\u043e<\/a>!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman:<\/p>\n

Trumpty Dumpty, he ran on a wall;
\nHe said Mexico\u2019d pay, I recall \u2014
\nBut that orange-haired liar
\nSet OUR pants on fire
\nBy making us pay for it all.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: His horn-rims, bow tie and slicked hair Are so retro that people just stare. He\u2019s been growing rotund-er, Which leads me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,4465,2447,3284,5009,5018,5046,5052,3167,4887,3543,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39050"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39050"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39050\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39079,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39050\/revisions\/39079"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39050"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39050"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39050"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}