{"id":38999,"date":"2017-01-22T02:00:10","date_gmt":"2017-01-22T06:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=38999"},"modified":"2017-01-22T02:14:02","modified_gmt":"2017-01-22T06:14:02","slug":"limerick-off-award-269","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2017\/01\/22\/limerick-off-award-269\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (269)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to JESSE LEVY,<\/a> who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A broom and his buddy, a mop
\nDecided that all crime should stop.
\nThe broom did quite well;
\nSwept out felons pell mell.
\nBut the mop was a flop as a cop.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to RICHARD CAMPBELL,<\/a> who wins the Special BLUES-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

My whole life, fate has thrown me the screws.
\nAll that helps now is drugs, broads, and booze.
\nDon\u2019t get up before noon;
\nDrift saloon to saloon.
\nI sure got me them old 12-bar blues.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Reddekopp, Suzanne Heymann, Craig Dykstra, Konrad Schwoerke, Dave Johnson, Sue Dulley, Tim James, and Brian Allgar. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“COP” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

David Reddekopp: <\/p>\n

There once was a frisky old fop.
\nFor a whore he decided to shop.
\nSo this horny old heel
\nFirst tried copping a feel,
\n\u2019Til he found he was feeling a cop.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann: <\/p>\n

She thought a low neck line was hotter
\nIf, when speeding, police finally caught her.
\nSure enough, soon a cop
\nMade her zooming car stop,
\nBut what made this a flop – she’s his daughter!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Craig Dykstra: <\/p>\n

\nWrote a verse that I think coulda won it,
\nBut immediately after I\u2019d run it,
\nMad the “Limerick Cop”
\nSaid my rhyme was a flop
\nJust \u2019cause someone had already done it!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Konrad Schwoerke:<\/p>\n

While selling my lucrative crop,
\nA policeman enjoined me to stop.
\n\u201cSure, I know it\u2019s legit,
\nBut you soon won\u2019t have shit,
\nAnd I must be off duty to cop.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

If I were a history cop,
\nI\u2019d hold up my hand and yell \u201cStop!\u201d
\nWe\u2019re about to embark
\nOn a horrible lark,
\nWith a carnival huckster on top.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (BLUES LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sue Dulley: <\/p>\n

\nA limerick’s not like the Blues.
\nNo, a limerick’s not… I can’t use
\nThe same words for line two
\nAs line one. If I do,
\nIt’s a ruse Mad won’t choose to excuse.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann: <\/p>\n

If music’s a hobby you choose,
\nStay on key and please lay off the booze!
\nBut if you keep on flinging
\nBad notes, I’ll be bringing
\nYou pain till you’re singing the blues.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

If you suffer sometimes from the blues
\nDon\u2019t try drugs, promiscuity, booze.
\nTake a tip from my wife:
\nFor those low points in life,
\nNothing helps like a new pair of shoes.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

The Republicans used to be blue
\nAnd the Democrats red.<\/a> So what\u2019s new?
\nWith the Democrats dead
\nAnd Republicans red,
\nWe are all feeling blue through and through.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James, for his Acrostic Limerick:<\/p>\n

O<\/strong>n Election Day, many were blue.
\nB<\/strong>ut take comfort, for this is what\u2019s true:
\nA<\/strong>lthough Donald\u2019s an ass,
\nM<\/strong>r. O\u2019s act is class
\nA<\/strong>nd he\u2019s shown what a good man can do.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Konrad Schwoerke: <\/p>\n

The work is depressing at zoos,
\nSo I often go home with the blues.
\nAnd it\u2019s getting more bleak,
\nFor example, last week,
\nWe received really terrible gnus.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to JESSE LEVY, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: A broom and his buddy, a mop Decided that all crime should stop. The broom did quite well; Swept out felons […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,2690,4465,4525,2434,2538,5009,5018,5046,3369,4533,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38999"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38999"}],"version-history":[{"count":28,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38999\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39045,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38999\/revisions\/39045"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38999"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38999"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38999"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}