{"id":38898,"date":"2016-12-24T22:56:57","date_gmt":"2016-12-25T02:56:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=38898"},"modified":"2016-12-24T23:06:45","modified_gmt":"2016-12-25T03:06:45","slug":"limerick-off-award-267","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2016\/12\/24\/limerick-off-award-267\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (267)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to DAVID REDDEKOPP, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

It\u2019s clear that I haven\u2019t a clue
\nHow to clean out a chimney. It\u2019s true;
\nWhen I tried, it instead
\nJust collapsed on my head.
\nNow I\u2019m laid up in bed from the flue.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to KIRK MILLER, who wins the Special PARTY-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A beekeeper friend of mine, Marty,
\nRemarked with a laugh that was hearty:
\n\u201cWhen a new hive is done,
\nBees and I have some fun.
\nI throw them a house swarming party.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Suzanne Heymann, Tim James, Ken Gosse, Mike Burch,<\/a> Judith H. Block,<\/a> David Reddekopp, Richard Campbell,<\/a> Wendy Playter, and Dave Johnson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTION (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cFLU\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO PARTY LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar <\/p>\n

They were partying; he was so high,
\nLSD made him think he could fly.
\nWell, it\u2019s true that he flew
\nFor a second or two,
\nTill the moment he ran out of sky.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“FLU” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

\u2019Tis the season for saying, “Achoo!”
\nWhat to do for a cold or a flu?
\nDrink some honey and lemon
\nAnd rest till it’s stemmin’
\nThe coughin’ and phlegmin’ in you.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

It was Christmas Eve. Santa was due,
\nBearing goodies and gifts, a whole slew.
\nAll my hopes, though, were dashed:
\nIn the chimney he crashed.
\nI\u2019d forgotten to open the flue.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ken Gosse: <\/p>\n

An old woman who lived in a shoe
\nLost her health when they all caught the flu,
\nFound a book in her cupboard
\nBy ol\u2019 L Ron Hubbard,
\nAnd soon lost her life savings too.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

The hooker appeared ill at ease;
\nHer client had started to sneeze.
\nHe was catching the flu!
\nFar too risky to screw,
\nSo she stayed at arm\u2019s length on her knees.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mike Burch:<\/p>\n

A fly with the flu foully flew
\nUp my nose \u2014 thought I\u2019d die \u2014 had to sue!
\nNow I’m out of my mind
\nCuz the trial judge declined
\nMy lawsuit; I’d \u201cfailed to achoo.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (PARTY LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Judith H. Block: <\/p>\n

The parties! The booze and the food!
\nThe laughter; The fun, festive mood!
\nMore platefuls? Why, YES!
\nThough it’s all in excess.
\nCan’t refuse them \u2019cause that would be rude!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

We met at a New Year\u2019s soir\u00e9e,
\nDrinking wine till we got enivr\u00e9.
\nSuch a sweet mademoiselle,
\nAnd a fille oh so belle!
\nAnd the way she could French made my day.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Reddekopp <\/p>\n

We thought that the party was super
\nAnd we drank ourselves into a stupor.
\nThen in came the dog
\nTo drop a large log;
\nThat bitch was a big party pooper.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Richard Campbell:<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a party, a bash, and a binge;
\nAn affair and a f\u00eate \u2014 but I cringe.
\nAnd my ire will ignite,
\nIf Trump dares to invite
\nAll his friends from the lunatic fringe.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wendy Playter:<\/p>\n

A party is not where it\u2019s at
\nWhen you’re wearing an introvert\u2019s hat.
\nSo when it gets loud,
\nI exit the crowd
\nAnd I sneak off to go pet the cat.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

Her mother said \u201cYes, you should go;
\nPerhaps you might meet a new beau.\u201d
\nAt the party, she sighs;
\nThe available guys
\nAct like Larry and Curly and Moe.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to DAVID REDDEKOPP, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: It\u2019s clear that I haven\u2019t a clue How to clean out a chimney. It\u2019s true; When I tried, it instead Just […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[4003,4465,4525,3570,4842,3284,5009,5018,4878,5046,4533,3167,4887,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38898"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38898"}],"version-history":[{"count":27,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38898\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38948,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38898\/revisions\/38948"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38898"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38898"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38898"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}