{"id":38779,"date":"2016-11-27T00:28:12","date_gmt":"2016-11-27T04:28:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=38779"},"modified":"2016-11-27T00:41:57","modified_gmt":"2016-11-27T04:41:57","slug":"limerick-off-award-265","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2016\/11\/27\/limerick-off-award-265\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (265)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

\nMy smartphone, though lightweight and small,
\nHas thousands of \u2018apps\u2019; got them all —
\nFacebook, Twitter, TV …
\nBut it\u2019s too smart for me,
\nFor I\u2019ve never worked out how to call.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special ANXIETY-Themed Limerick Award for this clever limerick:<\/p>\n

Anxiety hangs like a pall
\nRound the world, as it grips one and all.
\nOther nations ask why
\nWe would vote for that guy.
\n(I hear Canada\u2019s building a wall.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins the Special THANKSGIVING-Themed Limerick Award for this clever limerick:<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve elected a hideous elf,
\nWho\u2019s pushing us off of the shelf.
\nIt\u2019s suddenly clear
\nFor Thanksgiving next year,
\nThis turkey will pardon himself.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Marty Gerendasy, Diane Groothuis, Sue Dulley, Brian Allgar, Wendy Playter, Tim James, Suzanne Heymann, Jeanine Silverio,<\/a> Dave Johnson, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cCALL\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO ANXIETY LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Marty Gerendasy: <\/p>\n

High anxiety’s what I would call
\nThe bad feeling I’m getting this fall.
\n\u2019Cause the stakes are so high,
\nIt’s for sure do or die;
\nWe could find ourselves climbing the wall.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“CALL” A-RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Diane Groothuis:<\/p>\n

Cinderella received a nice call
\nInviting her out to a Ball,
\nBut found it alarming
\nOn seeing Prince Charming
\nIn pants with no ball-room at all.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

Black bears sometimes pay me a call
\nIn spring and in summer and fall.
\nSo I wonder if they
\nMight be willing to pay
\nIf this winter I build a great wall.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

The young hooker who answered his call
\nSaid \u201cWell, Donald, I\u2019m willin\u2019 to ball,
\nBut you claim that your peter
\nIs more than a metre,
\nSo why can\u2019t I find it at all?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wendy Playter:<\/p>\n

A muscular lass from St. Paul
\nEnlisted to answer the call.
\nShe said, \u201cThough this rifle
\nIs no little trifle,
\nMy guns are the biggest of all!”\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

When she cries, men fall into her thrall;
\nIt\u2019s a powerful, strange siren call.
\nSo why\u2019s her heart breaking?
\nIt isn\u2019t. She\u2019s faking.
\nIt\u2019s all just a masquerade bawl.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTION (“CALL” B-RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

Mother Nature, who knocks at my door
\nKnows the strength of my bladder is poor;
\nIf I don’t rise at all
\nTo go answer her call,
\nShe will soil my pants to the core!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (ANXIETY LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James: (Be sure to read Tim’s asterisked comment right below his limerick.)<\/p>\n

His anxiety led him astray,
\nAnd he bungled his very first lay.*
\nHe pumped hard and too fast,
\nSo he just couldn\u2019t last
\nWhile conducting the choir that way.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

* Tim James explains: “A lay is a ballad or narrative poem set to music. What did you think I meant?”<\/p>\n

Jeanine Silverio:<\/p>\n

\nI\u2019m so shy and with women I worry,
\nI can\u2019t speak and my sight becomes blurry.
\nBut I met a coquette.
\n(She is just like a pet!)
\nWe can bark, howl and mate. (She\u2019s a Furry!)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (THANKSGIVING LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

This Thanksgiving, we might sit and chat;
\nOr maybe we\u2019ll go to the mat.
\nIt\u2019s something we dread;
\nIf old Uncle Fred
\nShows up with that God-awful hat.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jeanine Jamero Silverio <\/p>\n

On Thanksgiving, I vow to be grateful,
\nFor my husband, our boys and this plateful.
\nI pray that they thrive,
\nLove and hope kept alive,
\nIn a world that’s becoming more hateful.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Konrad Schwoerke:<\/p>\n

At Thanksgiving, I\u2019m cranberry boss.
\nI abominate canned berry dross.
\nWhy is mine so damned dandy?
\nFresh berries and brandy
\nGive new meaning to hitting the sauce.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: My smartphone, though lightweight and small, Has thousands of \u2018apps\u2019; got them all — Facebook, Twitter, TV … But it\u2019s too […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,4465,2747,4764,2538,5009,5018,4658,3369,4533,3167,4887,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38779"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38779"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38779\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38845,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38779\/revisions\/38845"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38779"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38779"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38779"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}