{"id":38522,"date":"2016-10-16T00:18:28","date_gmt":"2016-10-16T04:18:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=38522"},"modified":"2016-10-16T00:40:05","modified_gmt":"2016-10-16T04:40:05","slug":"limerick-off-award-263","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2016\/10\/16\/limerick-off-award-263\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (263)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to STEVE EARP, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this timely limerick:<\/p>\n

He says if you\u2019re famous you\u2019ll find
\nIt\u2019s easy to bump and to grind.
\nSo you, Trump supporter,
\nJust think of your daughter,
\nAnd question with whom you\u2019re aligned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Special Autumn-Themed Limerick Award for this clever limerick:<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re wondering what you should call
\nThe season when Eve \u201chad a ball,\u201d
\nIt used to be Autumn
\nUntil the Lord caught \u2019em;
\nSince then, it’s been known as the Fall.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Dave Johnson, Kirk Miller, Tim James, Wendy Playter, Robert Schechter,<\/a> Allan Eastman, Fred Bortz,<\/a> and Suzanne Heymann. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“GRIND” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

She\u2019s known to be wholesome and kind,
\nAnd possesses a wondrous behind.
\nWhile she doesn’t hold grudges,
\nTo dancing club judges
\nShe does have a big ass to grind.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kirk Miller:<\/p>\n

Christmas shopping can be quite a grind.
\nThe best presents? I think you will find
\nIf you want a big lift,
\nMeditation\u2019s the gift
\nThat\u2019s the best. You get presence of mind.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

No woman would give him a grind,
\nSo his sex life was all in his mind.
\nHe knew well his own touch,
\nAlthough maybe too much:
\nHe\u2019s grown hair on his palms and gone blind.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wendy Playter:<\/p>\n

The cornmeal I ruthlessly grind
\nMake tacos that taste more refined.
\nBut although higher-class,
\nThere\u2019s just as much gas,
\nAnd music soon follows behind.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Robert Schechter:<\/p>\n

As a Starbucks barista I find
\nIt’s helpful to clear out my mind
\nWith occasional breaks,
\nBut that’s all that it takes
\nTo ease me back into the grind.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (AUTUMN LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Allan Eastman:<\/p>\n

A nudist group once had the gall
\nTo protest the oncoming Fall.
\n\u201cWe WON’T Wear No Pants!\u201d
\nThey swore in their chants.
\n(Bet they wished they\u2019d at least brought a shawl.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Robert Schechter:<\/p>\n

When autumn arrives, trees turn bare
\nAnd I’m filled with my yearly despair
\nThat winter will come
\nAnd put frost on my bum,
\nAnd I can’t stand a cold derriere!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz, who celebrates the Autumn holiday known as Election Day:<\/p>\n

From Tuesday the eighth of November
\nWe’ll celebrate on through December
\nThat women saw through
\nWhat that grabber would do,
\nAnd their votes soon deflated his member.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

The colorful look of the trees;
\nA slight little chill in the breeze.
\nYes, Autumn\u2019s sublime,
\nIn advance of the time
\nWhen ice brings us all to our knees.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

In late autumn, I never forego
\nA Thanksgiving Day feast. This year, though,
\nI\u2019ll give thanks, say \u201cAmen\u201d
\nTwo full weeks before then
\nWhen I see Donald Trump gobbling crow.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

It’s autumn, the midst of October,
\nWhen the wind blows each tree to disrobe her.
\nThe summer did end,
\nAnd the cold’s \u2019round the bend,
\nSo I don’t recommend being sober.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to STEVE EARP, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this timely limerick: He says if you\u2019re famous you\u2019ll find It\u2019s easy to bump and to grind. So you, Trump supporter, Just think of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4893,4003,4465,3523,3284,5009,5018,2537,3401,4533,3167,4887,487,523],"class_list":["post-38522","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-haiku-seeds","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","category-poetry-prompts","tag-allan-eastman","tag-brian-allgar","tag-dave-johnson","tag-fred-bortz","tag-kirk-miller","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-robert-schechter","tag-steve-earp","tag-suzanne-heymann","tag-tim-james","tag-wendy-playter","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38522","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38522"}],"version-history":[{"count":89,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38522\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38642,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38522\/revisions\/38642"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38522"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38522"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38522"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}