{"id":38144,"date":"2016-09-04T00:12:14","date_gmt":"2016-09-04T04:12:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=38144"},"modified":"2016-09-04T00:26:26","modified_gmt":"2016-09-04T04:26:26","slug":"limerick-off-award-260","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2016\/09\/04\/limerick-off-award-260\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (260)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SUZANNE HEYMANN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A loud unmistakable quack
\nCould be heard from inside of the sack.
\nWell, there’s my potluck;
\nJust a small Peking duck
\nThrough the opening, looking right back.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins the Special HEAT-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

When it’s hot, he removes all his clothes,
\nWhich is not so bizarre I suppose.
\nThen he’ll oil his bod,
\nWhich is still not too odd,
\nBut he does the same thing when it snows.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Charley Simmons, Will T. Laughlin<\/a>, Dave Johnson, Konrad Schwoerke, Tim James, David Reddekopp, Lien Bazardien, and Marty Gerendasy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“SACK” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was trapped in a tight cul-de-sac
\nWith the Mafia hot on his back.
\nWith one bound, he was free …”
\nI am sure you\u2019ll agree
\nThat the author\u2019s a second-rate hack.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Charley Simmons:<\/p>\n

When the drunk got a gal in the sack,
\nHe laughed and said \u201cBabe you\u2019ve no rack.
\nThere\u2019s no hair on your cookie,
\nBut give me some nookie.\u201d
\nShe answered him: \u201cGET OFF MY BACK!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

A Dudelsackpfeifer* (a hack)
\nPlayed for years without getting the knack.
\nOne morning his wife
\nGot her hands on a knife
\nAnd cut off both his Dudel and Sack.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

*Dudelsackpfeifer = bagpipe player<\/p>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

\nA ranch-owning gal from Omak*
\nSpends most afternoons on her back.
\nYoung cowboys her steed,
\nTo her spread they stampede
\nFor the ride of their lives in the sack.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

*The Omak Stampede <\/a> is a famous rodeo held in Washington state.<\/p>\n

Konrad Schwoerke:<\/p>\n

We all wanted to shag this guy Zack,
\nSo we four took him back to our shack.
\nI felt somewhat forsaken;
\nHis good parts were taken.
\nI was left, sadly, holding the sack.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (HEAT-LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

Young Nellie, a beauteous belle,
\nWas more lovely than any could tell.
\nShe was fine, without doubt,
\nBut the word soon got out
\nThat her sister was hotter than Nell.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Reddekopp:<\/p>\n

The couple upstairs, always sweating
\nIs making a mess of their bedding.
\nBut our bedding is neat;
\nWe don\u2019t generate heat,
\nAnd it really is rather upsetting.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

I\u2019d a lim\u2019rick, believe it or not,
\nWith a double-entendre on \u201chot.\u201d
\nBut the heat of the day
\nBurned my wits all away,
\nAnd \u2014 whatever it was \u2014 I forgot.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lien Bazardien: <\/p>\n

A nudist called Bella Corelli
\nHad multiple rolls on her belly.
\nHer very best treat
\nIn the Summer’s great heat
\nWas posing for Sir Botticelli.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Marty Gerendasy: <\/p>\n

When the temps hit a hundred degrees,
\nAnd you long for a nice cooling breeze,
\nYou can feel that it seems
\nThere are just two extremes;
\nIt’s like either you swelter or freeze!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SUZANNE HEYMANN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: A loud unmistakable quack Could be heard from inside of the sack. Well, there’s my potluck; Just a small Peking duck […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,3420,4465,4525,2538,4875,5009,5018,4658,4533,3167,3543,487,523],"class_list":["post-38144","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","category-poetry-prompts","tag-brian-allgar","tag-charley-simmons","tag-dave-johnson","tag-david-reddekopp","tag-konrad-schwoerke","tag-lien-bazardien","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-marty-gerendasy","tag-suzanne-heymann","tag-tim-james","tag-will-t-laughlin","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38144","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38144"}],"version-history":[{"count":88,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38144\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38305,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38144\/revisions\/38305"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38144"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38144"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38144"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}