{"id":38042,"date":"2016-08-21T00:00:55","date_gmt":"2016-08-21T04:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=38042"},"modified":"2016-08-21T00:40:27","modified_gmt":"2016-08-21T04:40:27","slug":"limerick-off-award-259","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2016\/08\/21\/limerick-off-award-259\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (259)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for his “Poe Signs The Pledge” limerick:<\/p>\n

To drown all his sorrows, he\u2019d pour
\nEndless whiskies, and mourn his Lenore.
\nBut the night that he heard
\nA chimerical bird,
\nHe swore off the booze. \u201cNevermore!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special GRASS-Themed Limerick Award for his “Elizabethan\u2019s Lament\u201d limerick:<\/p>\n

Forsooth! \u2019Tis a place in the grass
\nFit for carnal acts, tender or crass.
\nBut alas and alack!
\nOne thing holdeth me back:
\nThe part that I lack is a lass.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sue Dulley, Will T. Laughlin,<\/a> Charley Simmons, Ken Gosse, Brian Allgar, Fred Bortz<\/a>, Tim James, and Marty Gerendasy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“\u201cPOOR\/POUR\/PORE” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

It’s Summer Olympics once more;
\nCanadians’ teardrops will pour.
\nBut when medals are missed
\n“That’s okay,” we’ll insist,
\nAnd proudly claim: “We’re Number Four!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

What a day to be wed at the shore!
\nBright sun, and the ocean\u2019s low roar!
\nThere I stood, all deluxe
\nIn my nice rental tux \u2013
\nAnd that\u2019s when it started to pour.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Charley Simmons:<\/p>\n

“In bed you\u2019re a terrible bore,”
\nShe said, as she showed him the door.
\n“Please leave me at once
\nYou despicable dunce,
\nOr I\u2019ll donate your clothes to the poor.”\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ken Gosse: <\/p>\n

\nThe vintner had bad wine galore,
\nSo he poured it all out on the floor.
\nBut his brother-in-law
\nLaid his wide-open maw
\nOn the spot on the floor where he\u2019d pour.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

Her grades were excessively poor,
\nSo she knocked on her teacher\u2019s front door.
\n\u201cCan you help with my grade?\u201d
\nAn arrangement was made;
\nNow they\u2019re both very happy to score.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

Amendment nineteen folks will roar,
\nMaking Donald J. Trump\u2019s chances poor.
\nHe\u2019s a bully-boy fraud
\nSo the women, by God,
\nWill show him the way to the door.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

He tried to engage in amour,
\nBut his sense of direction was poor.
\nWhen he started to pound
\nHe got all turned around.
\nSo his entry was by the back door.<\/p>\n

This fellow whose aim was so poor
\nWas the Thunder God known in Norse lore.
\nAnd the lady? A wisp
\nWith a cute little lisp.
\nNow thith gal, like her partner, ith Thor.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (GRASS-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

If you spend too much time at your desk, you
\nNeed a hobby to come to your rescue.
\nThink how long you will spend
\nOn your flaccid rear end
\nOnce they\u2019ve planted you under the fescue!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Marty Gerendasy: <\/p>\n

There once lived a lovely young lass
\nWho was fond of a roll in the grass.
\nShe would “play” on the lawn
\nFrom late night until dawn.
\nAnd when finished, she’d go straight to Mass.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a homeowner. Cutting the grass
\nIs a chore that\u2019s a pain in the ass.
\nSays my wife, who\u2019s the boss,
\n\u201cTear it out! Put in moss!
\nIt\u2019s still green; from the street it\u2019ll pass!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for his “Poe Signs The Pledge” limerick: To drown all his sorrows, he\u2019d pour Endless whiskies, and mourn his Lenore. But the night that he […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[4003,3420,3523,4842,5009,5018,4658,3369,3167,3543,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38042"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38042"}],"version-history":[{"count":53,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38042\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38141,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38042\/revisions\/38141"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38042"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38042"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38042"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}