{"id":37961,"date":"2016-08-06T22:15:16","date_gmt":"2016-08-07T02:15:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=37961"},"modified":"2016-08-06T22:28:32","modified_gmt":"2016-08-07T02:28:32","slug":"limerick-off-award-winner-258","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2016\/08\/06\/limerick-off-award-winner-258\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award Winner (258)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Mrs. Frankenstein, lissome and lean,
\nHad as perfect a bod as I\u2019ve seen.
\nHusband Vic, from the start,
\nTook her hand, stole her heart,
\nAnd her liver, both lungs, and her spleen.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Special BOREDOM-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

\nTo stave off his feelings of boredom,
\nHe thought he would sample some whoredom.
\nThe call-girls looked nice,
\nBut on learning their price,
\nHe found that he couldn\u2019t afford \u2019em.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) J Cosmo Newbery,<\/a> Brian Allgar, Marty Gerendasy, Dave Johnson, Val Fish, Suzanne Heymann, Kathleen Bartoletti, David Reddekopp, Grzegorz Gigol,<\/a>
\nIan Graham<\/a>, Fred Bortz<\/a>, and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“LEAN\/LIEN” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

J Cosmo Newbery:<\/p>\n

A man who’d developed a lean,
\nPut the blame on some lousy cuisine.
\nBut his breakfast was fine,
\nAnd his dinner, benign\u2014
\nIt was all of the drinks in between.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

I showed her my new trampoline.
\n\u201cShall we give it a spin?\u201d She was keen,
\nBut I\u2019m hereby renouncing
\nA blowjob while bouncing \u2013
\nThe reason, I\u2019m sure you can glean.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Marty Gerendasy:<\/p>\n

A young poet whose name was Marlene,
\nSaid “I don’t like a verse that’s obscene.
\nBut if I just suggest,
\nYou can fill in the rest,
\nAnd then you can decide what I mean!”\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

The actors are healthy and lean
\nIn ev’ry McDonald\u2019s ad scene.
\nBig profits they\u2019d blow
\nIf they were to show
\nReal fans of their fast-food cuisine.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Val Fish: <\/p>\n

The wife, she\u2019s as thin as a bean.
\nHer sister, not nearly so lean.
\nFor a nice piece of rump,
\nIt\u2019s \u2018big sis\u2019 that I\u2019d hump.
\nSuch a shame that she\u2019s only fifteen.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (BOREDOM-LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

\n“Oh Mummy, school’s out, what a bore!”
\n“I’ll fix THAT! Now you each get a chore:
\nDust and vacuum, do dishes,
\nClean rooms, feed the fishes!”
\nThey never complain anymore.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kathleen Bartoletti:<\/p>\n

A fisherman caught a big trout,
\nWhich he wouldn’t stop talking about;
\nSo year after year
\nHe bored ev’ryone near
\nTill, in tears, his wife fin’ly moved out.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Reddekopp for his Acrostic Limerick:<\/p>\n

I<\/strong>\u2019m lazy; it\u2019s rather overt.
\nN<\/strong>o energy will I exert.
\nE<\/strong>ssentially, null.
\nR<\/strong>elaxed, but it\u2019s dull
\nT<\/strong>o sit here, in essence, inert.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

\nThe girl was convinced she had scored
\nWith a hunk, but her needs were ignored.
\nThough he stayed the whole night,
\nThere was no sex in sight;
\nShe didn\u2019t get drilled, only bored.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Grzegorz Gigol: <\/p>\n

U.S. people ooze love by the fother,
\nAnd say ev’ryone there is their brother.
\nBut when bored, they resort
\nTo their national sport,
\nWhich is going and suing each other.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ian Graham:<\/p>\n

I once struck a most happy medium
\nAt a s\u00e9ance both dull and quite seedy. Um,
\nJust after my slap he
\nWas rather less happy,
\nBut it did help to lessen the tedium.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

Jack yawns. \u201cI think soccer is boring.
\nI prefer to watch games with more scoring.\u201d
\nStill Jill feels a thrill
\nWhen the tally\u2019s nil-nil,
\nWhile beside her, her boyfriend is snoring.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A farmer who\u2019d gotten quite bored
\nWith his job struck the following chord:
\n\u201cI raise squash every year.
\nIt\u2019s increasingly clear
\nI\u2019m about to go out of my gourd!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Mrs. Frankenstein, lissome and lean, Had as perfect a bod as I\u2019ve seen. Husband Vic, from the start, Took her hand, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,4465,4525,3523,4853,4519,2447,4849,5009,5018,4658,4533,3167,4084,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37961"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37961"}],"version-history":[{"count":55,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37961\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38040,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37961\/revisions\/38040"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37961"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37961"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37961"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}