{"id":37709,"date":"2016-07-09T22:46:26","date_gmt":"2016-07-10T02:46:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=37709"},"modified":"2016-07-09T23:01:35","modified_gmt":"2016-07-10T03:01:35","slug":"limerick-off-award-256","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2016\/07\/09\/limerick-off-award-256\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (256)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to BARBARA MILLIKAN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this clever limerick. (It was inspired by her daughter’s very successful rugby team in Lane County, Eugene, Oregon, known as the “Reign.”)<\/p>\n

Rough and rowdy “Reign” ruggers, the bane
\nOf all other gal ruggers from Lane;
\nWhen it poured like a flood
\nAll were buried in mud,
\nBut no rain ever reined in the “Reign.”\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Special BIRD-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

The bird-watcher peered through his glasses,
\nBelieving he\u2019d seen in the grasses
\nThe movement of plovers.
\nIn fact, they were lovers;
\nHe stared at two fine, naked asses.<\/p>\n

The girl quickly covered her bits
\nWith a towel, and yelled out \u201cHey, Fritz!
\nWhat d\u2019you think you are doing?\u201d
\n\u201cDear lady, I\u2019m viewing
\nA magnificent pair of Great Tits.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Randolph Wagner, Dave Johnson, Brian Allgar, Marty Gerendasy, Judith H. Block,<\/a> Tim James, Kathleen Bartoletti,<\/a> Will T. Laughlin,<\/a> Barry Solomons, Ken Gosse, Suzanne Heymann, and Kirk Miller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (RAIN\/REIGN\/REIN RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Randolph Wagner:<\/p>\n

The Habsburgs who ruled over Spain
\nWere an inbreeding unsightly strain.
\nSince their gene pool was rotten,
\nGood looks weren’t begotten:
\nIn Spain on the plain fell the reign.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

The Donald is making it plain;
\nHe thinks that he\u2019s ready to reign.
\nSo what if he fails?
\nFrom all the hat sales
\nHis wallet is posting a gain.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

At tea-time, the Queen would complain:
\n\u201cThe tea-pot is empty again;
\nI know that I filled it,
\nBut somehow I spilled it —
\nI can\u2019t pour, but I know how to reign.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Marty Gerendasy: <\/p>\n

Tell me, what good is trav’ling by plane,
\nWhen it won’t leave the ground in the rain?
\nYet another delay!
\nHappens day after day!
\nFrom now on, I’ll be going by train.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Judith H. Block:<\/p>\n

You have just washed the car? It will rain.
\nOn a picnic? It\u2019s pouring again.
\nBut plants need the showers.
\nIt\u2019s true, we love flowers.
\nI guess it\u2019s not smart to complain.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James, for his limerick homage to “MacArthur Park.”<\/a><\/p>\n

The cake got left out in the rain.
\nAnd the recipe? Never again
\nWill I have it, that’s true.
\n(What’s that mean? Not a clue.
\nMaybe drugs make the meaning more plain.)\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kathleen Bartoletti:<\/p>\n

A limerick writer named Kane
\nLoved bathing outside in the rain;
\nWhen it started to fall
\nShe ran out, baring all,
\nWith her washcloth, imported from Spain.<\/p>\n

I hope this rhyme doesn’t offend.
\nThat’s not something I’d ever intend.
\nI just saw it so plain;
\nKane’s a fine rhyme for \u201crain\u201d
\nAnd too good to resist, in the end.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (BIRDS LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

My bird-watching uncle admits
\nHis blog would get millions of hits,
\nOverwhelming his host
\nAny time he would post
\nNew pictures of boobies and tits.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Barry Solomons:<\/p>\n

An ostrich let out a big sigh
\nAnd pleaded with God asking why,
\nYou would want me to stand
\nWith my head in the sand
\nWhen I\u2019d love to be able to fly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ken Gosse, who entitles his limerick “Copy Writer,” and who was inspired by a children’s poem.<\/p>\n

\nA woman who swallowed a spider,
\nEnded up with a bird deep inside her.
\nShe wrote, \u201cHow absurd,
\nTo swallow a bird,\u201d
\nBut not first, so the rights were denied her.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

His Lordship had picked up a girl
\nAnd he paid her to give him a whirl.
\nBut next day, the poor chap
\nHad contracted the clap —
\nThe wormy bird catches the Earl.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A parrot, apparently spurred
\nBy an urge to repeat all he heard,
\nSpent a night by the bed
\nOf a gal. She turned red
\nWhen \u201cOh God! Oh my God!\u201d screamed the bird.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

We saw a strange bird in the street.
\n\u201cThat\u2019s a Fake-Crested Trump,\u201d muttered Pete.
\n\u201cHow on earth can you tell?\u201d
\nI inquired. Pete said, \u201cWell,
\nIt just let out a horrible Tweet.\u201d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

When a bird and a dog had a fight,
\nI could not tell who had the first bite.
\nBut an eagle so regal
\nMade off with a beagle
\nWho\u2019d eaten a seagull last night.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kirk Miller, whose 3-verser is (he swears) based on personal experience:<\/p>\n

The gardener wore a big scowl,
\nAnd emitted an ear-piercing howl.
\nHe had reason to gripe:
\nBirds ate fruit that was ripe.
\n\u2019Twas a crime he considered most fowl.<\/p>\n

To tomatoes the birds had been treatin\u2019
\nThemselves. He refused to be beaten.
\nSince the gardener\u2019s wise,
\nA nice plan he\u2019ll devise
\nTo keep birds from his garden of eatin\u2019.<\/p>\n

There is little expense he incurred.
\nGet some net; make a tent; he\u2019s insured
\nThat tomatoes are safe.
\nWhile the mockingbirds chafe,
\nHe just smiles and then flips them the bird.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to BARBARA MILLIKAN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this clever limerick. (It was inspired by her daughter’s very successful rugby team in Lane County, Eugene, Oregon, known as the “Reign.”) Rough and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,103],"tags":[4844,4850,4003,4465,3570,4849,4842,3284,5009,5018,4658,4763,4533,3167,3543,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37709"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37709"}],"version-history":[{"count":99,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37709\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37869,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37709\/revisions\/37869"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37709"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37709"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37709"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}