{"id":36961,"date":"2016-04-30T22:08:54","date_gmt":"2016-05-01T02:08:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=36961"},"modified":"2016-04-30T22:16:24","modified_gmt":"2016-05-01T02:16:24","slug":"limerick-off-award-251","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2016\/04\/30\/limerick-off-award-251\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (251)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

I knew that her passion was real
\nWhen she started to bark like a seal,
\nMoaning, squirming with bliss.
\nAnd the reason for this?
\nGucci pumps at half price! Such a deal!\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN,<\/a> who wins the Special FRIENDSHIP-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

There once was a fellow named Hutton
\n(For punishment surely a glutton)
\nWho\u2019d travel the land
\nGiving notes out by hand,
\nSince he wouldn\u2019t \u201cUnfriend\u201d with a button.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Facebook Friends\u2019 Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook \u201clikes.\u201d<\/p>\n

The bimbo could barely conceal
\nHer surprise when the pastor said \u201cKneel!
\nAnd now let us pray,\u201d
\nFor she thought he said \u201cplay,\u201d
\nAnd she did so with lip-smacking zeal.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Dave Johnson, Brian Allgar, Andy Sewina,<\/a> Brian Neil,<\/a> Randolph Wagner, and Fred Bortz.<\/a> Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“CONCEAL\/SEAL” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

To “seal with a kiss” has appeal
\nFor expressing affection you feel.
\nAs a phrase or an act,
\nThere\u2019s no doubting the fact
\nThat it\u2019s better than kissing a seal.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

The hooker tried hard to conceal
\nHer disdain at the sight of his \u201ceel,\u201d
\nSo pathetically small;
\nWhen he said \u201cTake it all,\u201d
\nIt was more of a snack than a meal.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Andy Sewina:<\/p>\n

The conjurer tried to conceal
\nAn ace up his sleeve but no deal,
\nFor the audience saw
\nThat the rookie was raw,
\nAnd the magical deal wasn\u2019t real.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Neil:<\/p>\n

\nIntending a partial reveal,
\nThe stripper applied too much zeal;
\nWhilst dancing she tripped.
\nHer knickers, they ripped.
\nTwas way more than she could conceal.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Randolph Wagner:<\/p>\n

The thong Thelma wears can’t conceal
\nHer stupendously hot buns of steel.
\nThelma warns, “Since they’re bare
\nYou’re invited to stare
\nBut I’ll pummel those copping a feel!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz, for his 4-Verse Saga: <\/p>\n

The draperies split to reveal
\nThe lectern and Prez with his seal.
\nIt’s Donald J. Trump,
\nThat YUGE horse’s rump,
\nDeclaring that he’s made a deal:<\/p>\n

“Sarah Palin’s now Russia’s Big Wheel.
\nIn a straight-up trade, Vlad said that he’ll
\nBe glad to be Veep
\nAnd he promised to keep
\nSnowden’s secrets. Yes this is all real.<\/p>\n

“You see, Vlad and I had this urge
\nFor the US and Russia to merge.
\nAnd there’s truth to the rumor:
\nWe will soon have a Duma.
\nWe’ve begun the Congressional purge.”<\/p>\n

I awoke with a start and a scream.
\nNow I know that I never should stream
\n“Dr. Strangelove” in bed.
\nIt plays tricks with my head.
\nWhat a terrible, horrible dream!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (FRIENDSHIP LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

Two fishing guides \u2013 Brody and Gator;
\nSchool buddies from down in Decatur.
\nThey both have a skill
\nTo jack up the bill;
\nOne troller and one master baiter.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

Though surprised when he learned that his pal
\nWould be living his life as a gal,
\nHe extended his arms
\nTo her new female charms
\n\u2019Cause his wife had just said, “Call me Al!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

Said my friend, \u201cI\u2019m away for the night;
\nPlease check that my wife is all right.\u201d
\nWell, what are friends for?
\nSo I knocked on her door,
\nAnd she offered me more than a bite.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: I knew that her passion was real When she started to bark like a seal, Moaning, squirming with bliss. And the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4260,4003,4778,4465,3523,5009,5018,4763,3167,3543,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36961"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36961"}],"version-history":[{"count":72,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36961\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37109,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36961\/revisions\/37109"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36961"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36961"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36961"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}