{"id":36533,"date":"2016-03-19T22:01:17","date_gmt":"2016-03-20T02:01:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=36533"},"modified":"2016-03-19T22:17:19","modified_gmt":"2016-03-20T02:17:19","slug":"limerick-off-award-248","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2016\/03\/19\/limerick-off-award-248\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (248)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins both the Limerick-Off Award and the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

When Marilyn stepped on the vent,
\nHer skirt billowed up like a tent.
\nThe crowd loved the show,
\nCrying out \u201cWay to go!\u201d
\nAnd that is where Kennedy went.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN,<\/a> who wins the SIBLING-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Dear Brother: I wooed Mrs. Lister,
\nBut her husband broke in as I kissed her.
\nI\u2019m now on the run
\nIn the guise of a nun…
\nYours truly, your brother the Sister.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Marty Gerendasy, Ian Graham,<\/a> Brian Allgar, Judith H. Block,<\/a> Allen Wilcox, David Reddekopp, Will T. Laughlin<\/a>, Fred Bortz<\/a>, and Dave Johnson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTION (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cVENT\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO “SIBLING” LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

Two brothers set out to invent
\nA machine that could fly. So it went:
\nThough they had the Wright stuff,
\nThey had troubles enough.
\nIn the ground they left many a dent.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“VENT” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Marty Gerendasy: <\/p>\n

Please excuse me, but I need to vent
\n\u2019Cause the landlord just jacked up my rent.
\nWhat a dastardly deed
\nBased on nothing but greed.
\nI may have to go live in a tent.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ian Graham:<\/p>\n

No alibi could she invent
\nFor her night in a wigwam with Brent.
\n\u201cHe\u2019s a crook,\u201d her folks curse.
\n\u201cThat makes it much worse.
\nIt was done with a crim’nal in-tent.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

Yes, the Donald knows how to invent
\nVicious lies to incite discontent.
\nThough he\u2019s boastful and shifty,
\nHis \u2018groupies\u2019 score fifty –
\nThat\u2019s, roughly, IQ and percent.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Judith H. Block:<\/p>\n

My darling, that\u2019s not what I meant
\nBy positions that we could invent.
\nWhile I\u2019m all for hot sex
\nAnd did not provide specs,
\nA pretzel was not my intent!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A sailor lost ev\u2019ry last cent
\nBut the sex was a signal event.
\nWhile they rolled, yawed and pitched
\nShe got greatly enriched
\nWhile he, like his money, got spent.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Allen Wilcox:<\/p>\n

\n\u201cIt was what I was trying to prevent \u2013
\nGoing into the hole where I went.
\nIt wasn\u2019t my goal.
\nI missed the right hole.
\nIt\u2019s the way that my damn thing is bent.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Reddekopp:<\/p>\n

There\u2019s naught I can do to prevent
\nWhat the skies, I surmise, have now sent.
\nThe snow is now falling.
\nI find it appalling.
\nIt\u2019s the winter of my discontent.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

In the spring, I met young Mrs. Trent,
\nWhose husband was ag\u00e8d and bent.
\nA tentative kiss
\nLed to hours of bliss \u2013
\nThough suspicion I tried to prevent.<\/p>\n

I guessed no malicious intent
\nMonths later, when Mr. Trent sent
\nMe a note to invite
\nMe to join them one night \u2013
\nI agreed to attend the event.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve challenged my cook to invent
\nA new dish for you,\u201d leered the old gent;
\n\u201cA pity my mate
\nWill be joining us\u2026 late.\u201d
\nThen he tittered. Now, what had he meant?<\/p>\n

From the kitchen, and up through the vent
\nCame a strangely familiar scent…
\nMixed with garlic and leeks.
\nHow he laughed at my shrieks,
\nAs out through the window I went.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“SIBLING” LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

He once had a tomboyish sister
\nSo commanding that none would resist her.
\nThen his sib stopped pretending.
\n“I’m done gender bending,”
\nHe said. “You must now call me Mister.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

The left half of Siamese twins
\nBerated her mate for his sins.
\nCried he, \u201cHow the hell
\nIs a fellow to tell
\nWhere you end, and your sister begins?!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

Two brothers named Jason and Kevin
\nShow up at the gym before seven.
\nThey don\u2019t like to sweat;
\nAny six-pack they get
\nWill come from a 7-Eleven.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

\nSure, kids are a pain in the tush\u2026
\nBut try being Barbara Bush:
\nAt the end of your life
\nAs a mother and wife,
\nYour illusions deflate with a whoosh,<\/p>\n

And as you step out of your bubble, you
\nAre left with the facts. And they trouble you.
\nO the stigma! The shame
\nTo the family name,
\nThat the smartest Bush brother was W!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins both the Limerick-Off Award and the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this funny limerick: When Marilyn stepped on the vent, Her skirt billowed up like a tent. The […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4107,4003,4465,4525,3523,4519,3570,5009,5018,4658,3167,3543,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36533"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36533"}],"version-history":[{"count":56,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36533\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36664,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36533\/revisions\/36664"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36533"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36533"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36533"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}