{"id":36364,"date":"2016-03-05T23:25:03","date_gmt":"2016-03-06T03:25:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=36364"},"modified":"2016-03-05T23:45:03","modified_gmt":"2016-03-06T03:45:03","slug":"limerick-off-award-247","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2016\/03\/05\/limerick-off-award-247\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (247)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to Will T. Laughlin,<\/a> who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

My girlfriend prepared me a treat,
\nWhich I tried… and I just couldn\u2019t eat.
\nBut what could I say,
\nWith her watching that way?
\n\u201cUmmm, this borscht simply cannot be beet!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to KIRK MILLER, who wins the Special EDUCATION-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A geometry teacher named Brent
\nLiked to frolic outdoors, so he went
\nTo a place he could play
\nAt the seashore all day.
\nHe returned from the beach a tan gent.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

With no brother to help him to cheat,
\nJeb admits that he\u2019s finally beat.
\nAnd his web site? He blew it,
\nForgot to renew it \u2013-
\n\u201cI bought it!\u201d jeers Trump in a tweet.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Jesse Levy,<\/a> Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Jon Gearhart, Allen Wilcox, RJ Clarken,<\/a> Ian Graham,<\/a> Will T. Laughlin<\/a>, and Byron Ives. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTION (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cBEAT\/BEET\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO EDUCATION LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

The philosophy class had him beat.
\n\u201cI don\u2019t like abstract concepts!\u201d he\u2019d bleat.
\n\u201cI Kant grasp them at all!\u201d
\nHe then punched a brick wall.
\nThat abstraction\u2019s now much more concrete.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“BEAT\/BEET” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Jesse Levy: <\/p>\n

The new “superfood” is the beet.
\nI’ve heard that’s the word on the street.
\nThe ads make it seem
\nAs if beets are a dream.
\nWell, at least they do not contain wheat.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar, for his Harper Lee limerick:<\/p>\n

\nWith one novel, she joined the elite,
\nWon a Pulitzer (that\u2019s quite a feat)
\nWhile Ginsberg and Burroughs
\nWere ploughing their furrows —
\nThough, of course, she\u2019s not read as a beat.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

I remember when flying was neat;
\nAn adventure that couldn\u2019t be beat.
\nBut if airlines today
\nCould have it their way,
\nThey\u2019d charge you to lower your seat.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jon Gearhart:<\/p>\n

I enjoy having veggies to eat,
\nBut sometimes I just want some meat.
\nBy replacing the beta
\nVulgaris, I made a
\nBeef borscht and did not miss one beet.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Allen Wilcox:<\/p>\n

When Windows won\u2019t work and you\u2019re beat,
\nAnd you think you are facing defeat,
\nDo NOT lose your cool.
\nRemember the rule:
\nWhen in doubt, press Control-Alt-Delete.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rj Clarken: <\/p>\n

The bird was a little offbeat:
\nNot the norm for a wee parakeet.
\nHe would peck like a lord
\nOn his tiny keyboard
\nAs he\u2019d Facebook and IM and tweet.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ian Graham:<\/p>\n

Thrash wheat if it\u2019s bread you would eat.
\nFlail rice for a granular treat.
\nIs smoothness your dream?
\nThen try whipping cream.
\nBut for sweetness you cannot beat beet.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson: <\/p>\n

He saw her \u2013 his heart skipped a beat;
\nThen awkwardly shuffled his feet.
\nHow amazing that he
\nCould possibly be
\nRunning into a star on the street!<\/p>\n

It was just a few seconds or so
\nThat he felt that celebrity glow.
\nTheir eyes barely met,
\nBut he\u2019ll never forget
\nThe moment Adele said \u201cHello.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (EDUCATION LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

\u201cGee, these Texas school textbooks are great!
\nLet\u2019s use them in every state!
\nNow, ev\u2019ryone: look
\nIn your Chemistry book
\nAt Leviticus 12, 5 through 8\u2026\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

She thinks studying\u2019s hard, so instead
\nShe lures each of her profs into bed
\nWhere she actively crams
\nFor her oral exams:
\nShe\u2019s advanced to the class of the head.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

A lively young teacher named Cass
\nWas showing her dance moves with sass.
\nBut while she was twerking,
\nSome smart phones were lurking;
\nA gift for the boys in the class.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Byron Ives:<\/p>\n

In bio lab, Gloria Schwerner
\nOft tooted, which didn\u2019t concern \u2019er
\nBut after a flash
\nTurned her lab coat to ash,
\nShe pointed away from the burner.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to Will T. Laughlin, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: My girlfriend prepared me a treat, Which I tried… and I just couldn\u2019t eat. But what could I say, With […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[4107,4003,3971,4465,4519,2434,3727,3284,5009,5018,2405,3167,3543,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36364"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36364"}],"version-history":[{"count":78,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36364\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36530,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36364\/revisions\/36530"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36364"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36364"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36364"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}