{"id":35376,"date":"2015-12-27T02:23:43","date_gmt":"2015-12-27T06:23:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=35376"},"modified":"2015-12-27T02:36:21","modified_gmt":"2015-12-27T06:36:21","slug":"limerick-off-award-242","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2015\/12\/27\/limerick-off-award-242\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (242)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to JON GEARHART, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

The Mayor Rob Ford wasn’t wise
\nGetting filmed smoking crack. His demise
\nWas assured when he tried
\nTo deny he had lied,
\nSo now he’s the Ford of the Lies.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN,<\/a> who wins the Special Holiday-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

When AutoCorrect makes you groan,
\nRemember that this year alone
\nMore than two thousand dupes
\nSold their souls (or their \u201csoups\u201d)
\nTo SANTA, because of their phone.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to JUDITH H. BLOCK,<\/a> who wins the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

With a smile on his deathbed, here lies
\nA guy who had stars in his eyes.
\nThe sex, off the chart,
\nWas too much for his heart.
\nIt was an ecstatic demise.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order): Brian Allgar, Fred Bortz<\/a>, Sue Dulley, Allen Wilcox, Will T. Laughlin,<\/a> Jim Sullivan, RJ Clarken,<\/a> Suzanne Heymann, Tim James, Dave Johnson, and David Reddekopp. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: “LIES” RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO HOLIDAY LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

From the rooftop, old Santa relies
\nOn a chimney to bring his surprise,
\nBut this year, he got stuck,
\nAnd they heard him yell \u201cFuck!
\nI have eaten too many mince pies!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz, who notes that his limerick is based on a true story: “Our daughter entered the world on the 366th day of a leap year, about 10 days early.”<\/p>\n

A tax refund lights up our eyes;
\nThe onset of labor belies
\nThe o.b.’s prediction.
\nHis date was a fiction.
\nOur New Year’s Eve baby’s a prize!\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“LIES” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sue Dulley: <\/p>\n

“All these words that I utter are lies,”
\nQuips the prankster, “so you would be wise
\nTo refuse to believe
\nThat I always deceive.”
\nMeanwhile, logic just curls up and dies.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Allen Wilcox:<\/p>\n

He has made quite a fetish of ties
\nOn which his dear mistress relies.
\nHe wears them so long
\nThat they tickle his dong
\nAnd create a great increase in sighs.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

\nThe fury; the venom; the lies;
\nThe call for the Others\u2019 demise;
\nThe tribalist hate \u2013
\nSay, was this a debate,
\nOr rehearsal for \u201cLord of the Flies?\u201d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jim Sullivan:<\/p>\n

Some day they\u2019ll be saying, \u201cHere lies . . .\u201d
\nWhen they\u2019ve closed up my mouth and my eyes.
\nMy family will sigh. It
\nWill be very quiet
\nWhen I leap up and yell out, \u201cSurprise!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rj Clarken:<\/p>\n

\nThe media often supplies
\nNews bites they sensationalize,
\nWith candidates who
\nHope their viewers will view
\nThe world through their very skewed eyes.<\/p>\n

So we often compartmentalize,
\nDisassociate or else disguise
\nThe fact we can\u2019t face,
\nLook away or erase
\nWhat we\u2019d normally diss otherwise.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

If you can see through someone\u2019s guise
\nJust by looking right into their eyes,
\nYou\u2019ll know if they\u2019re ruthless
\nMendacious or truthless;
\nYour real eyes realize real lies.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (HOLIDAY LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

Down the chimney I saw Santa go
\nTo a brothel; how couldn\u2019t he know?
\nAt the bottom were three
\nLovely ladies, so he
\nPut new spin on the phrase \u201cHo ho ho.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

The holiday season is here
\nWith greetings and lots of good cheer.
\nOur spirits will lift
\nSince we get to re-gift
\nThat crap from the previous year.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Reddekopp:<\/p>\n

It\u2019s realized \u2013 Santa\u2019s worst fear;
\nThe reindeer are striking this year.
\nFatigue was a factor,
\nSo he bought a tractor,
\nFor nothing can run like a Deere.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to JON GEARHART, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: The Mayor Rob Ford wasn’t wise Getting filmed smoking crack. His demise Was assured when he tried To deny he had […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[4107,4003,4465,4525,3523,3192,3727,3570,5009,5018,2405,3369,4533,3167,3543,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35376"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35376"}],"version-history":[{"count":73,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35376\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35512,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35376\/revisions\/35512"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35376"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35376"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35376"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}