It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. <\/p>\n
Congratulations to RAPHAEL HARRIS, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny verse:<\/p>\n
There once was a gibbon named Flake,
\nWhose chimpanzee wife baked a cake.
\nHe grabbed a big hunk.
\nHis wife said, “You skunk,
\nOur marriage is all gibbon take.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\nCongratulations to Sue Dulley, who wins the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n
Sue Dulley: <\/p>\n
The unit of snow is the ‘flake’
\nWith six points; otherwise it’s a fake.
\n“No two are the same,”
\nIs the weatherman’s claim.
\nBut who looks at them all, for Pete’s sake?<\/p><\/blockquote>\nAnd congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Daisy Mae Simon, Brian Allgar, Jesse Frankovich, Ira Bloom, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jon Gearhart, Dave Johnson, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n
Tim James:<\/p>\n
The paint on the ceiling would flake
\nWhen she screamed. Then her body would quake,
\nWith her toes curling tight.
\nIt capped off quite a night.
\nYou know what? I don\u2019t *care* if it\u2019s fake.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nDaisy Mae Simon: <\/p>\n
Our neighbor is nice, but a flake.
\nEach December she makes us fruitcake.
\nWe smile. (She means well.)
\nWe re-gift it (Don\u2019t tell!)
\nTo a GOP-Tea Party snake.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nBrian Allgar: <\/p>\n
It was snowing, huge flake after flake,
\nAnd my windscreen was growing opaque.
\nShe was giving good head,
\nBut she bit me instead
\nWhen I hit the emergency brake.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\nJesse Frankovich’s Acrostic Limerick:<\/p>\n
F<\/b>our meanings I’ll offer for flake:<\/i>
\nL<\/b>oose, small piece that from something may break;
\nA<\/b> unit of snow;
\nK<\/b>ooky fruitcake you know;
\nE<\/b>arly tool that from stone one can make.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nIra Bloom: <\/p>\n
A grey goose, a bit of a flake,
\nHumped a duck in the dark, by mistake.
\n“I don’t want to pander,
\nYou stupid old gander,”
\nThe duck said. “Besides, I’m a drake.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\nJane Shelton Hoffman: <\/p>\n
She discovered her necklace was fake
\nWhen the gold on it started to flake.
\nThe fur was not real,
\nHer ring, stainless steel,
\nBut her spouse was a genuine snake.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nJon Gearhart:<\/p>\n
Now Bob is a bit of a flake.
\nGoes to sea in a rowboat (a caique).
\nO\u2019er the side he goes golfin\u2019
\nHits eggs at the dolphin
\nWho\u2019re caught in his fin eggin\u2019 wake.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nDave Johnson<\/p>\n
Aunt Martha will quite often bake
\nSome brownies or maybe a cake.
\nWith her Saturday stop
\nAt the cannabis shop,
\nThere\u2019s magic in every flake.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nKonrad Schwoerke:<\/p>\n
Seems a break ain’t the same as a brake,
\nAnd a sheikh ain’t the same as a shake,
\nAnd a stake ain’t the same
\nAs a steak\u2014what a shame!\u2014
\nBut a flake is a flake is a flake.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nCongratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n
In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n