{"id":33005,"date":"2015-07-04T23:04:28","date_gmt":"2015-07-05T03:04:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=33005"},"modified":"2015-07-04T23:11:07","modified_gmt":"2015-07-05T03:11:07","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-220","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2015\/07\/04\/limerick-of-the-week-220\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (220)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

A collections attorney named Kirk
\nDesires a new line of work.
\nHis resume states
\nThe most obvious traits:
\n\u201cAn accomplished, professional jerk.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) J Cosmo Newbery<\/a>, Fred Bortz<\/a>, Judith H. Block<\/a>, Nate Levin,<\/a> David Reddekopp, and Suzanne Heymann. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

J Cosmo Newbery:<\/p>\n

She had a few drinks after work,
\nThen slept in the arms of a clerk
\nAnd dreamed of a life
\nAs a happy young wife.
\nBut, alas, she woke up with a jerk.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

She once loved his ev’ry sweet quirk.
\nShe insisted each one was a perk.
\nBut there’s little enjoyment
\nIf spouse lacks employment,
\nSo she dumped him, that work-shirking jerk.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Judith H. Block: <\/p>\n

Be gentle, don\u2019t pull, yank or jerk,
\nTease, firmly caress — that will work.
\nYou want him to last,
\nNot end it too fast;
\nTo haunt him and drive him berserk.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Nate Levin<\/p>\n

The G-O-P prez-field’s berserk,
\nAnd the typical member’s a jerk.
\nThey’re reality flee-ers
\nWith eyes on the Tea’ers.
\nIs this how a party should work?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Reddekopp:<\/p>\n

All men have a gherkin to jerk.
\nMost find that their jerkin\u2019s a perk.
\nBut woe to the guys
\nWho can\u2019t make it rise,
\nAnd find that their gherkin won\u2019t work.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

Each man in my life was a jerk,
\nSo I\u2019m single \u2013 a permanent quirk.
\nI JUST have it in me
\nThat no one can win me—
\nA man is just too much hard work.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: A collections attorney named Kirk Desires a new line of work. His resume states The most obvious traits: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,65,42],"tags":[4465,4525,3523,2447,3570,5009,5018,4485,4533,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33005"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33005"}],"version-history":[{"count":49,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33005\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":33084,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33005\/revisions\/33084"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33005"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33005"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33005"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}