{"id":32533,"date":"2015-06-06T22:55:53","date_gmt":"2015-06-07T02:55:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=32533"},"modified":"2015-06-06T23:08:25","modified_gmt":"2015-06-07T03:08:25","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-216","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2015\/06\/06\/limerick-of-the-week-216\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (216)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to ROBERT SCHECHTER<\/a>, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

Robert Schechter: <\/p>\n

The sexiest instrument’s known
\nAs the brassy and sassy trombone.
\nIt loves to be slid.
\nThere’s no hornier id!
\nBut mostly it loves to be blown.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Janice Canerdy, Ian Graham<\/a>, Fred Bortz<\/a>, Will T. Laughlin<\/a>, Konrad Schwoerke, and Dave Johnson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

The bounciest girl he had known
\nWas astride him, and couldn\u2019t be thrown.
\nBut her thrusts were so rough
\nThat he cried \u201cThat\u2019s enough —
\nI think you\u2019ve just broken my bone!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Janice Canerdy:<\/p>\n

Sue\u2019s not in the bedroom alone,
\nBut hubby\u2019s as cold as a stone.
\nShe begs, \u201cTake this pill?\u201d
\nHe says, \u201cYes, I will.\u201d
\nHer man is now bad to the bone.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ian Graham: <\/p>\n

Our orchestra\u2019s lonesome trombone
\nUsed to slide in and out on his own.
\nNow he\u2019s living in sin
\nWith the first violin
\nAnd she fiddles until his bone\u2019s blown.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

In Genesis, God used a bone
\nTo make Eve, though she wasn’t a clone.
\nSo much for reliance
\nOn DNA science!
\nCreationist truth has been shown.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

TO THE BOARD OF REGENTS<\/p>\n

You demand explanations be shown
\nWhy I met with my student alone.
\nWell, her field\u2019s dinosaurs,
\nSo she went through my drawers
\n\u2018Til she found my old fossilized bone.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Konrad Schwoerke:<\/p>\n

The wifey had started to moan,
\n“When you’re out every night, I’m alone,
\nAnd your mistress gets bed…”
\nInterrupting, I said,
\n“Stop your bitching!” and threw her a bone.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

He was hired to play the trombone
\nAt a socialite club in Bayonne.
\nHis notes were quite mute
\nBut a bulge in his suit
\nCaused the standing ovation alone.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

MEMO FROM THE DEFENSE DEPT.<\/p>\n

Dear contractor: We have a bone
\nTo pick. We had ordered a drone.
\nWhat you sent us in lieu
\nIs a didgeridu.
\nVery funny. Come back when you\u2019re grown.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to ROBERT SCHECHTER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: Robert Schechter: The sexiest instrument’s known As the brassy and sassy trombone. It loves to be slid. There’s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[4003,4465,3523,4519,4514,2538,5009,5018,2537,3543,487,523],"class_list":["post-32533","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","tag-brian-allgar","tag-dave-johnson","tag-fred-bortz","tag-ian-graham","tag-janice-canerdy","tag-konrad-schwoerke","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-robert-schechter","tag-will-t-laughlin","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32533","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32533"}],"version-history":[{"count":55,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32533\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32652,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32533\/revisions\/32652"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32533"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32533"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32533"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}