{"id":31138,"date":"2015-03-07T21:25:34","date_gmt":"2015-03-08T01:25:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=31138"},"modified":"2015-03-07T21:32:04","modified_gmt":"2015-03-08T01:32:04","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-204","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2015\/03\/07\/limerick-of-the-week-204\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (204)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

I’ve a fetish for moisture: a moat,
\nOr some pond, or a pool gets my vote.
\nAny sex is way better
\nWhen things are way wetter;
\nIt’s water that’s floating my boat.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kevin Ahern<\/a>, Fred Bortz<\/a>, Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy<\/a>, Allen Wilcox, Scott Crowder, Will T. Laughlin<\/a>, and Steve Whitred<\/a>. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Kevin Ahern:<\/p>\n

It\u2019s with sorrow I send you this note.
\nThe repairmen has said and I quote,
\n“The TV\u2019s in danger;
\nWith no channel changer
\nIts recovery chance is remote.”\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz: <\/p>\n

Santorum is known to emote,
\n“First man-on-man, then man-on-goat!”
\nSaid a goatherd named Thomas,
\n“If that is a promise,
\nThen Rick will be getting my vote!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

The actress could never emote;
\nOn the screen, she recited by rote.
\nBut the girl was no slouch
\nOn the old casting-couch,
\nSo they chose her by popular vote.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Colleen Murphy: <\/p>\n

My five-year old left us a note:
\n\u201cI\u2019m heading to places remote
\nCause father and mother
\nYou gave me a brother
\nAnd no one considered my vote.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Allen Wilcox:<\/p>\n

With chances of winning remote,
\nThe head of the party took note,
\n\u201cPut away all your tissues;
\nCan\u2019t win on the issues,
\nSo let\u2019s try suppressing the vote.\u201d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Scott Crowder:<\/p>\n

I asked her last night and I quote,
\n“Where the hell is that fucking remote?”
\nIt soon came to pass,
\nIt’s so far up my ass,
\nI change channels by clearing my throat.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

We got in our vessel to float
\nFar away to an island remote
\nWhere there\u2019s no damned TV.
\nHold it \u2014 who\u2019s this I see?
\nIs that Gilligan? BACK TO THE BOAT!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred: <\/p>\n

She said “Dear, we’ve become so remote,
\nAnd I fear on the nanny you dote.”
\nHe said “Darling, I swear
\nI’ve not touched the Au Pair,
\nBut I have been beguiled by the goat.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: I’ve a fetish for moisture: a moat, Or some pond, or a pool gets my vote. Any sex […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,1192,1983,65],"tags":[4107,4003,2525,3523,3499,2538,5009,5018,2223,3342,3543,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31138"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31138"}],"version-history":[{"count":65,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31138\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31274,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31138\/revisions\/31274"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31138"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31138"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31138"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}