{"id":30864,"date":"2015-02-07T21:02:08","date_gmt":"2015-02-08T01:02:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=30864"},"modified":"2015-02-07T21:06:59","modified_gmt":"2015-02-08T01:06:59","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-201","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2015\/02\/07\/limerick-of-the-week-201\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (201)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to JON GEARHART, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

A race home between tortoise and hare
\nIs essentially not very fair.
\nThough the hare is quite quick,
\nIt’s a shell game. That prick,
\nThe tortoise, is already there!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to JONATHAN JENSEN, on winning the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this funny limerick: <\/p>\n

When I look at the gray in my hair,
\nI never give way to despair.
\nThough I long for a \u2019do
\nWith a more youthful hue,
\nI’m mostly just glad it’s still there.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy<\/a>, Lisi Ardissone, Konrad Schwoerke, Byron Ives, David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose,<\/a> Val Fish, and Allen Wilcox. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

For the fancy-dress ride, what to wear?
\nHer husband said \u201cGo as a bear.\u201d
\nBut Godiva misheard,
\nSo she mounted and spurred
\nAnd rode forth wearing only her hair.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Colleen Murphy: <\/p>\n

Said the hunter, “I won fair and square
\nAnd with no double-counting, I swear.
\nIt is not a mistake.
\nWhen they tallied my take,
\nThey told me I’d won by a hare.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Ardissone:\t<\/p>\n

I altered the shade of my hair
\nTo give it a little more flair.
\nWhen my husband came home,
\nHe said, \u201cOh, Marone!
\nAre you planning to have an affair?”\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Konrad Schwoerke:<\/p>\n

A new \u2019do? Why the hell would I care
\nWhat you do to your own freakin’ hair?
\nThough I do wish you’d learn
\nThat my only concern
\nIs it’s not an obstruction down there.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Byron Ives:<\/p>\n

She sported long, sexy, blonde hair
\nAnd worked at the fresh produce fair.
\nI reckoned her peaches
\nWere out of my reaches,
\nBut jeepers, she had a nice pear!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose:<\/p>\n

With a toss of her silvery hair,
\nShe said to him: “Now then, mon cher;
\nWhile we wait for your phallus
\nTo go and Cialis,
\nThere’s much you can do below there.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Val Fish: <\/p>\n

Last night, I shaved off all my hair.
\nNo, not on my head, but ‘down there.’
\nWhen faced with the sight,
\nMy hubby took flight.
\nMy bald patch was too bare to bear.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Allen Wilcox:<\/p>\n

The fruit vendor\u2019s wife was a bear:
\n\u201cShape up and get out of my hair.\u201d
\nHe took it in stride,
\nAlthough, puzzled, he sighed,
\n\u201cBut why did she say \u2018get a pear?’\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to JON GEARHART, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: A race home between tortoise and hare Is essentially not very fair. Though the hare is quite quick, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[4107,4003,3971,2525,2047,3727,4122,2538,5009,5018,4454,4084,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30864"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30864"}],"version-history":[{"count":79,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30864\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30976,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30864\/revisions\/30976"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30864"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30864"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30864"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}