{"id":30469,"date":"2015-01-18T00:08:54","date_gmt":"2015-01-18T04:08:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=30469"},"modified":"2015-01-18T00:17:23","modified_gmt":"2015-01-18T04:17:23","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-198","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2015\/01\/18\/limerick-of-the-week-198\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (198)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SCOTT CROWDER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

A man fell in love with a tart
\n@ lonely dot com backslash heart.
\nHe craved her affection,
\nYet used no protection,
\nAnd now his computer won’t start.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Allen Wilcox on winning the Limerick Saga Award for his clever 3-verser:<\/p>\n

A man fell in love with a tart
\nWho thought that tattooing was art.
\nHe, being quite daft,
\nLet her practice her craft
\nAnd proceed on his most private part.<\/p>\n

As you might well imagine, the tart
\nNeeded firmness before she could start.
\nSo she used an injection
\nFor proper erection
\nAnd pain pills brought in by the cart.<\/p>\n

Her masterpiece finished, the tart
\nExplained that her tatting might smart,
\nAnd whenever he \u201csinned,\u201d
\nHe would always break wind,
\nWhich made it a true work of fart.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Ron B., Jon Gearhart, Colleen Murphy<\/a>, and Fred Bortz.<\/a> Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

The waitress had brought him a tart,
\nBut Count Dracula fancied her heart.
\nSo although at this venue
\nBlood\u2019s not on the menu,
\nHe just served himself \u00e0 la carte.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ron B.:\t<\/p>\n

A fellow had picked up a tart
\n\u2013 At least so he thought at the start \u2013
\nUntil gasping for air
\nHe announced with despair,
\n\u201c’Twas a quiche with an art…uh…choke heart.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jon Gearhart: <\/p>\n

Are philosophers’ words sweet or tart?
\n“I think so I am,” said Descartes.
\nBerkeley said, “If I am,
\nSo is God.” “Life’s a sham.
\nYes, it is. No it’s not.”– Jean-Paul Sartre.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Colleen Murphy: <\/p>\n

If ever you’re dating a tart,
\nPrecaution with sex would be smart.
\nYou don’t know where she’s been.
\nTo ignore’d be akin
\nTo battling a gun with a dart.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

Marge Simpson was baking a tart
\nFor Homer and Lisa and Bart.
\nShe cried out, “Oh, no!
\nI’ve no yeast for the d’oh.”
\nBut at least it gave Pesach a start.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ron B. <\/p>\n

Men madly will fall for a tart
\nWho, shallow of mind and of heart,
\nWill claim her vows taken
\nHave long been forsaken
\nBy death never doing its part.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SCOTT CROWDER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: A man fell in love with a tart @ lonely dot com backslash heart. He craved her affection, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,42],"tags":[4107,4003,2525,3523,3727,5009,5018,4385,2223,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30469"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30469"}],"version-history":[{"count":47,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30469\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30585,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30469\/revisions\/30585"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}