{"id":30095,"date":"2014-12-27T23:13:37","date_gmt":"2014-12-28T03:13:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=30095"},"modified":"2014-12-28T02:55:05","modified_gmt":"2014-12-28T06:55:05","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-195","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2014\/12\/27\/limerick-of-the-week-195\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (195)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to BYRON IVES, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

A panda, with gun, chowed down peas
\nFrom a waitress, then shot at her knees,
\nGnashed a bug in his fur,
\nThen left in a blur.
\nIn essence, he eats, shoots, and fleas?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Mark Kane and Byron Ives, who jointly win a special Limerick Repartee Award for this limerick exchange:<\/p>\n

Mark Kane:<\/p>\n

Hot, spicy, wasabi-dried peas
\nWith some cold icy sake might ease
\nMy fair, fussy spouse
\nTo unbutton her blouse,
\nAnd let me proceed as I please.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Byron Ives:<\/p>\n

So you think hot, wasabi-dried peas
\nWill get you in good with your squeeze?
\nA PajamaGram, dude,
\nWill set the right mood.
\nAdd good scotch and enjoy the striptease!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy<\/a>, Kathy El-Assal, Carolyn Henly, Ron B., Steve Whitred<\/a>, Tim James, and Jon Gearhart, Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Colleen Murphy: <\/p>\n

The hiker had tried to appease
\nA ravenous tiger with cheese,
\nBut the tiger said, “No.
\nI’d much rather go
\nWith the man and his hand if you please.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kathy El-Assal: <\/p>\n

“NRA types are hard to appease,”
\nSaid a pacifist sending out pleas.
\nTrading humor for guns,
\nHe resorted to puns:
\n“Your aim should be shooting the breeze!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Carolyn Henly:<\/p>\n

An old printer ran short on his p\u2019s,
\nBut the fruit man he wanted to please.
\nSo he turned all aroun’
\nAnd then flipped upside down
\nAnd spelled \u201capple\u201d by using two d\u2019s.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ron B.:<\/p>\n

A mom told her kids, \u201cEat your peas.
\nDon\u2019t let them roll down on your knees.
\nDon\u2019t mash them to mush,
\nDon\u2019t slash them to slush,
\nAnd swallow them first, if you sneeze!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred:<\/p>\n

To my daughters I said \u201cEat your peas,
\nUse your manners; say thank you and please.
\nAlways pull your own weight,
\nAnd when out on a date
\nClasp a quarter real tight with your knees.\u201d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

With soft words I will try to appease
\nMy drunk gun-totin’ neighbor, ’cause he’s
\nSeeing Martians advance
\nAs pink elephants dance.
\nHe’s outside right now, shooting the breeze.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jon Gearhart:<\/p>\n

When Santa sets forth to appease
\nThe kids of the world with gifts, he\u2019s
\nSaid to fly in his sleigh
\nFor the length of a day
\nAnd give good kids all gifts with great ease.<\/p>\n

I think that the reason that he\u2019s
\nBeen able to do this with ease
\nIs that most kids are naughty
\nWith mouths spouting potty;
\nThus, no gifts delivered to these!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to BYRON IVES, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: A panda, with gun, chowed down peas From a waitress, then shot at her knees, Gnashed a bug […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[3971,3197,2525,3727,2543,5009,5018,175,4385,3342,3167,487,523],"class_list":["post-30095","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","tag-byron-ives","tag-carolyn-henly","tag-colleen-murphy","tag-jon-gearhart","tag-kathy-el-assal","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-mark-kane","tag-ron-b","tag-steve-whitred","tag-tim-james","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30095","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30095"}],"version-history":[{"count":51,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30095\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30190,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30095\/revisions\/30190"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30095"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30095"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30095"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}