{"id":28729,"date":"2014-10-11T23:08:03","date_gmt":"2014-10-12T03:08:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=28729"},"modified":"2014-10-11T23:16:43","modified_gmt":"2014-10-12T03:16:43","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-184","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2014\/10\/11\/limerick-of-the-week-184\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (184)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to JAMIE HUTCHINSON, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse, as well as the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for the same limerick: <\/p>\n

My mouth is shut tight\u2014not a crack\u2014
\nTill my dentist can prove he\u2019s no hack.
\nThen I see his degree
\nOn the wall, and then we
\nEach say \u201cAh!\u201d at the other one\u2019s plaque.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kirk Miller, Brian Allgar, Diane Groothuis, Jon Gearhart, Bob Dvorak, Byron Ives, Robert Schechter, Will T. Laughlin<\/a>, Allen Wilcox, Tim James, and Johanna Richmond. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Kirk Miller: <\/p>\n

In the kitchen, came ants through the crack,
\nSo the homeowner tried to fight back.
\nThe Formica he sprayed;
\nTheir advance was delayed.
\nThen the ants made a counter-attack.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

The dentist made many a crack
\nConcerning his hygienist\u2019s rack.
\nHe was put in his place
\nWith a punch in the face;
\nNow his teeth are displayed on her plaque.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Diane Groothuis: <\/p>\n

A dancer was trying to crack
\nA role in “Le cygne du lac”
\nBut the swan flew away
\nJust turning to say
\n“The trouble with me is I’m black.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jon Gearhart: <\/p>\n

Sexual stresses could cause you to crack
\nWhen you’re called to perform in the sack.
\nIf you can’t raise your todger
\nTo give her a roger,
\nYou’ll soon know of a lass and a lack.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Bob Dvorak: <\/p>\n

A fellow tripped over a crack,
\nWhich caused him to land with a thwack.
\nThis unabashed nut
\nTook a look at his butt;
\nSaid, “I cracked it!” (Aww. Cut him some slack.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Byron Ives:<\/p>\n

My windshield just suffered a crack
\nFrom a dove with a now broken back,
\nBroken wing, beak, and neck
\nSo I thought, what the heck…
\nThen I skinned him and grilled me a snack.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Robert Schechter: <\/p>\n

My captors believed I would crack
\nWhen they stretched out my bones on the rack,
\nBut I did not break
\nTill they threatened to make
\nMe eat a McDonald’s Big Mac.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will Laughlin: <\/p>\n

\u201cSo what if the aquifers crack,
\nAnd the water turns smelly and black?
\nSo what if we\u2019re killing
\nThe earth with our drilling?
\nWe honestly don\u2019t give a frack!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Allen Wilcox:<\/p>\n

The dentist discovered a crack
\nIn a tooth that was way in the back.
\nHe said its small size
\nWouldn’t win me a prize,
\nBut he gave me a plaque for my plaque.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James, in Chaucerian mode:<\/p>\n

A gallant olde knyghte took a crack
\nAt slaying a dragon. Alack!
\nFor the fyre-breathing beest,
\nIn the mood for a feest,
\nMade the fellow a well-toasted snack.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Johanna Richmond: <\/p>\n

Bottom-line, your selected word \u201ccrack\u201d
\nHas me itching, by god, to talk smack!
\nPoised to bring in the rear,
\nI may butt in right here
\nWith this cheeky announcement: I\u2019m baaaccckk!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to JAMIE HUTCHINSON, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse, as well as the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for the same limerick: My mouth is shut tight\u2014not a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[4107,3115,4003,3971,2747,3073,2065,3727,3284,5009,5018,2537,3167,3543,487,523],"class_list":["post-28729","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","tag-allen-wilcox","tag-bob-dvorak","tag-brian-allgar","tag-byron-ives","tag-diane-groothuis","tag-jamie-hutchinson","tag-johanna-richmond","tag-jon-gearhart","tag-kirk-miller","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-robert-schechter","tag-tim-james","tag-will-t-laughlin","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28729","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28729"}],"version-history":[{"count":57,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28729\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28859,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28729\/revisions\/28859"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28729"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28729"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28729"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}