{"id":26805,"date":"2014-06-28T22:55:28","date_gmt":"2014-06-29T02:55:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=26805"},"modified":"2014-06-29T01:01:29","modified_gmt":"2014-06-29T05:01:29","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-170","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2014\/06\/28\/limerick-of-the-week-170\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (170)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN<\/a>, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse, which he calls “HEIDI-HO.”<\/p>\n

\n

Attracted by Hollywood vice,
\nMen swarmed to her brothel like mice.
\nSo, what kept them staying?
\nYou know the old saying:
\n\u201cTime\u2019s fun when we\u2019re all having Fleiss.\u201d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

The Captain gave friendly advice:
\n\u201cDrink up, folks, it\u2019s all in the price!\u201d
\nThe party was manic
\nAboard the \u201cTitanic\u201d;
\nThe guests were all breaking the ice.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to CHRIS DOYLE, KONRAD SCWOERKE, BRIAN ALLGAR, and WILL T. LAUGHLIN<\/a>, who jointly win a special Limerick Repartee Award for this limerick exchange:<\/p>\n

Chris Doyle: <\/p>\n

“Writing lim’ricks, my love, is a vice,”
\nSays my wife, “And you’ll pay a stiff price.
\nSpending all of your time
\nCrafting meter and rhyme
\nMeans that I’m growing colder than ice.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Konrad Schwoerke:<\/p>\n

Writing lim’ricks just might be a vice,
\nAnd will seldom add amorous spice,
\nBut my wife is sure glad
\nI’m not out being bad
\nLike the past, where I had (once or twice).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

Just tell her that you\u2019d never cheat her,
\nBut honestly, nothing is sweeter
\nFor limerick-writers
\nThan spending all-nighters
\nWith girls who admire your meter.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

Gee, Brian: it could be my age,
\nBut I seem to have bypassed that stage.
\nIf I\u2019m hoping for action,
\nI don\u2019t get much traction
\nFrom words that I put on a page.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll ask my wife, \u201cWhat do you think
\nOf this verse I just wrote?\u201d First she\u2019ll blink;
\nThen she\u2019ll hand me some cash
\nFrom her personal stash,
\nAnd say, \u201cFind some loose women. Or drink.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Konrad Schwoerke, Kevin Ahern<\/a>, Brian Allgar, Fred Bortz<\/a>, Jon Gearhart, and Paula R. Moore<\/a>. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Konrad Schwoerke:<\/p>\n

Truth be told, I have only one vice,
\nA small quirk that, for me, adds some spice.
\nIt’s not thousand foot drops,
\nOr a fistfight with cops;
\nWhat I love is to skate on thin ice.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kevin Ahern: <\/p>\n

The dog pound gives out this advice
\nIn a clever attempt to entice:
\n\u201cLeasing dogs is a way
\nTo test out a stray.
\nYou should check out our low cur rent price.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

Miranda knew nothing of vice,
\nAnd her swimsuit was modestly nice.
\nBut the guys queued for fucks:
\n\u201cSpecial offer, five bucks!\u201d
\nShe\u2019d forgotten to take off the price.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

My inner boss has this advice.
\nYou may limerick-off once or twice.
\nAny more and he curses:
\n“I’ll choke your vice, verses!”
\nI can’t let my book pay the price.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jon Gearhart: <\/p>\n

Politicos share the same vice.
\nIt’s power, whatever the price.
\nThey’ll cater their views
\nDepending on who’s
\nIn the crews they must schmooze and entice.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Paula R. Moore:<\/p>\n

A fellow had bought a device
\nWhich was sold to make gold out of rice.
\nHe cooked it and milled it
\nAnd blanched it and grilled it.
\nNo gold, but it did entice mice.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse, which he calls “HEIDI-HO.” Attracted by Hollywood vice, Men swarmed to her brothel like mice. So, what […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[4003,3116,3523,3727,3499,2538,5009,5018,4191,3543,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26805"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26805"}],"version-history":[{"count":53,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26805\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26936,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26805\/revisions\/26936"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26805"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26805"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26805"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}