{"id":25705,"date":"2014-04-26T23:05:47","date_gmt":"2014-04-27T03:05:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=25705"},"modified":"2014-04-26T23:09:34","modified_gmt":"2014-04-27T03:09:34","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-161","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2014\/04\/26\/limerick-of-the-week-161\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (161)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SUE DULLEY, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

With manners polite and restrained
\nVictoria’s household was trained.
\nAt twenty past three
\nSomeone else served her tea —
\nThe Queen never poured when she reigned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Special Holiday-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

It\u2019s Easter. We\u2019ve run out of money;
\nOur rabbit\u2019s regarding us funny.
\nWe can\u2019t afford lamb,
\nAnd we\u2019ve finished the spam —
\nShe suspects she\u2019ll become roasted bunny.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to CRAIG DYKSTRA, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are guilty of meter that\u2019s strained,
\nAnd of puns that are terribly pained.
\nYou\u2019ll be struck twenty times
\nFor your crimes against rhymes;
\nPlease step forth to be Madeleine-caned.\u201d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners in the \u201cHoliday Limerick Division\u201d (in random order) Fred Bortz<\/a>, Will T. Laughlin<\/a>, and Steve Krodman a\/k\/a Elisson<\/a>. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

After one week of matzah, he strained
\nTo egest all the stuff that remained.
\nThe whole town heard him howl
\nFrom the pain in his bowel.
\nAlas, he’d from prune juice refrained.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin: <\/p>\n

Said the rabbi, \u201cCommandment from heaven
\nSays you have to get rid of your leaven
\nBy Nissan 14.\u201d
\nWhat on earth could he mean?
\nI drive a Toyota 07!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Krodman <\/p>\n

Now it’s Pesach. The thing that I dread
\nComes from all that damned unleavened bread.
\nFor whenever I eat,
\nIt sets up like concrete,
\nAnd I spend all my time in the head.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners in the \u201cStrained Limerick Division\u201d (in random order) Brian Allgar, Robert Schechter, Chris Doyle, Tim James, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

They asked why my Dad\u2019s been restrained
\nFrom approaching Bill Gates. I explained
\nThat his eyes become crazed,
\nTurning glassy and glazed —
\nAt the mention of \u2018Windows\u2019, he\u2019s pained.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Robert Schechter: <\/p>\n

If Clinton had been more restrained,
\nIf before he was done he’d refrained,
\nBoth Monica’s dress
\nAnd his good name, I guess,
\nWould have come through the scandal unstained.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Chris Doyle: <\/p>\n

All of Denmark’s top quad sculls have strained
\nThrough long workouts and tirelessly trained
\nFor the national race,
\nWhich — let’s cut to the chase —
\nMakes first place for one crew four-oar-Daned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A woman had struggled and strained
\nTo keep her young beau entertained.
\nWith all of that sexing
\nShe found something vexing:
\nWho suspected that *that* could get sprained?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Konrad Schwoerke:<\/p>\n

When Mark’s bawdiness can’t be restrained,
\nDoes dear Mad feel her contest’s profaned?
\nDoes her presence of mind
\nTurn to anger that’s blind?
\nAnd if so, does dear Mad have Mark Kaned?\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SUE DULLEY, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: With manners polite and restrained Victoria’s household was trained. At twenty past three Someone else served her tea […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[4003,3116,2690,3523,2538,5009,5018,2537,4081,3369,3167,3543,487,523],"class_list":["post-25705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","tag-brian-allgar","tag-chris-doyle","tag-craig-dykstra","tag-fred-bortz","tag-konrad-schwoerke","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-robert-schechter","tag-steve-krodman","tag-sue-dulley","tag-tim-james","tag-will-t-laughlin","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25705","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25705"}],"version-history":[{"count":64,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25705\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25858,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25705\/revisions\/25858"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25705"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25705"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25705"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}