{"id":25388,"date":"2014-03-29T23:11:59","date_gmt":"2014-03-30T03:11:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=25388"},"modified":"2014-03-29T23:21:55","modified_gmt":"2014-03-30T03:21:55","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-158","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2014\/03\/29\/limerick-of-the-week-158\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (158)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SCOTT CROWDER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

A fellow whose mortgage was due
\nHad even more woes than he knew.
\nHis payment, though late,
\nWas the least of his fate;
\nHis wife and his girlfriend were too.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to CHRIS DOYLE, who (in a tie with himself) wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for these two limericks which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

When a crone caused a London to-do
\nHiding blades in the heel of her shoe,
\nAnd she carved up a dame
\nIn a lav, she became
\nThe old woman who shivved in a loo.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

A wildebeest’s blue, and it’s due
\nTo a shortage of does in the zoo.
\nHe doesn’t know when
\nHe’ll be mating again,
\nSo he waits to go wooing a gnu.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Johanna Richmond, Christopher Finch Reynolds<\/a>, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy<\/a>, Bob Leggett, Chris Doyle, and Will T. Laughlin<\/a>. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Johanna Richmond: <\/p>\n

Dan\u2019s wife kept her Dippity Do
\nIn a jar on the dresser — Woohoo!
\n“If it stiffens her hair,”
\nWondered Dan, “do I dare?”
\nNow Dan\u2019s dippity ding-dong is blue.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Christopher Finch Reynolds: <\/p>\n

It was foggy and thick was the dew,
\nAnd I thought it was time for a screw.
\nWhen she climbed into bed
\nAnd began to give head,
\nThen like Adam and Eve we both \u201cknew.\u201d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jane Shelton Hoffman: <\/p>\n

“Stop telling me what I must do!”
\nThe dog thought when caught with a shoe.
\n“You’ve still got one more
\nRight there on the floor.
\nWhy not share with me, when there are two?”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar: (“quoting” Moses)<\/p>\n

\u201cStop telling us what we should do!
\nCommandments? OK, one or two,
\nBut on marble, all ten?
\nCan\u2019t You just use a pen
\nOn a substance that\u2019s light, like bamboo?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Colleen Murphy:<\/p>\n

The stonehead said, “What shall I do?”
\nWhen he looked at his recent tattoo.
\nSee, he realized too late
\nHe had inked the name “Kate,”
\nBut she was the girl, before Sue.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Bob Leggett: <\/p>\n

A woman at last got her due
\nWhen she got to the head of the queue:
\n\u201cYour offer I see
\nIs buy one, get one free.
\nI would like to buy one single shoe.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Chris Doyle: <\/p>\n

I’m a shepherd with little to do,
\nAs I tend to the flock the night through.
\nTo help me not sleep,
\nI snuggle a sheep\u2014
\nMy sexy embraceable ewe.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin: <\/p>\n

His weakness is Tullamore Dew.
\nIf they give him a tumbler or two,
\nThen his lips will unseal,
\nAnd it\u2019s probable he\u2019ll
\nTullamore than he knows that he knew.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SCOTT CROWDER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: A fellow whose mortgage was due Had even more woes than he knew. His payment, though late, Was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[4054,4003,3116,4014,2525,2281,2065,5009,5018,2223,3543,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25388"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25388"}],"version-history":[{"count":67,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25388\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25512,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25388\/revisions\/25512"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25388"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25388"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25388"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}