{"id":24936,"date":"2014-03-02T00:27:47","date_gmt":"2014-03-02T04:27:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=24936"},"modified":"2014-03-02T01:02:01","modified_gmt":"2014-03-02T05:02:01","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-154","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2014\/03\/02\/limerick-of-the-week-154\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (154)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to Kathy El-Assal, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

In a fleece, back and forth, the wolf paced,
\nSneaking up on some prey which he chased.
\nHe tried ewe, he tried ram,
\nFinally captured a lamb,
\nWhich he then took the thyme to lamb baste.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

Their first date had been rather fast-paced
\n‘Til she slapped him, and ended his haste.
\nShe explained, “There’s a good
\nChance you misunderstood
\nWhen I said I prefer to be chaste.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Steve Whitred<\/a>, who wins a special Limerick Saga Award, occasionally given to a very clever multi-verse limerick.<\/p>\n

If the LGBT are outpaced
\nAnd these homophobe laws are embraced
\nWe\u2019ll look back and exclaim
\n\u201cWhere were we when they came
\nAnd our rights, one by one, were erased?\u201d<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve a friend, or I had one, of late.
\nThings between us are not all that great.
\nHe greets anti-gay laws
\nWith a quiet applause,
\nThough their logic he never can state.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s the bible he says in the end,
\nA position he cannot defend.
\nIf we legislate \u2018sin,\u2019
\nTell me where to begin.
\nDid you know that it\u2019s sinful to lend?<\/p>\n

If your haircut is shaped by a bowl,
\nIf your mare and your ass have a foal,
\nIf you eat crab or pork,
\nOr you live in New York,
\n\u2018bomination will be on your soul.<\/p>\n

So I say to my friend, not in haste,
\n“Even though you think \u2018gays\u2019 are debased,
\nIt\u2019s hypocrisy\u2019s height
\nTo deny them their right,
\nFor not one of us truly is chaste.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sue Dulley, Chris Doyle, Steve Whitred<\/a>, Brian Allgar, Scott Crowder, and Robert Schechter. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

Old photos in albums I paste–
\nHere’s Grandma, with wasp-worthy waist.
\nShe must be nineteen
\n(In inches, I mean)
\nBack then, just as later, strait-laced.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Chris Doyle: <\/p>\n

“One, two, three…,” Noah says making paste
\nWith tomatoes, so none go to waste
\nIn his homemade ragout,
\nWhich some cheer and some boo
\n‘Cause there’s just Noah counting for taste.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred: <\/p>\n

The filly “My Father Eats Paste”
\nNever won, never showed, never placed
\nWhereas horse number 2
\n“I Don’t Want To Be Glue”
\nIs a winner whenever she’s raced.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

A woman whose life was fast-paced,
\nMade some soup that was lacking in taste.
\n\u201cForget it!\u201d she yelped.
\n\u201cSome herbs might have helped,
\nBut I really have no thyme to waste.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Scott Crowder: <\/p>\n

A woman whose life was fast-paced,
\nAnd hadn’t the time to be chased,
\nWas keen on a man,
\nShe called Steely Dan,
\nWhose batteries could be replaced.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Robert Schechter: <\/p>\n

I brush all my teeth with a paste
\nThat’s infused with a fresh minty taste.
\nIt makes a nice foam!
\nBut since Charleston’s my home
\nI must rinse with industrial waste.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to Kathy El-Assal, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: In a fleece, back and forth, the wolf paced, Sneaking up on some prey which he chased. He […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[4003,3116,2690,2543,5009,5018,2537,2223,3342,3369,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24936"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24936"}],"version-history":[{"count":34,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24936\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25047,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24936\/revisions\/25047"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24936"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24936"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24936"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}