{"id":24499,"date":"2014-02-02T01:45:35","date_gmt":"2014-02-02T05:45:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=24499"},"modified":"2014-02-02T01:55:43","modified_gmt":"2014-02-02T05:55:43","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-150","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2014\/02\/02\/limerick-of-the-week-150\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (150)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to Tim James, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

A baker went into the red
\nWhen his payroll costs came to a head:
\n\u201cI pay Dad and my brother,
\nThree aunts and my mother!\u201d
\nIt seems his whole fam’ly\u2019s inbread.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Fred Bortz<\/a>, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

My limerick turned my face red
\nAs lascivious thoughts filled my head.
\nI’m sure you’d be fonder
\nOf my double entendre
\nIf I dared to reveal what it said.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kirk Miller, Johanna Richmond, Michael Moulton, Robert Schechter, Jim Delaney, Tim James, Sallie McKenna, and Jane Shelton Hoffman. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Kirk Miller: <\/p>\n

A newspaper article read:
\nIn his home, a cartoonist found dead.
\nCops will try to find out
\nHow his death came about.
\nAll the details are sketchy, they said.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Johanna Richmond: <\/p>\n

My computer was sure it had read
\nThe prime booty for which my heart bled.
\nSo to prove that thing wrong
\nI spent days searching \u201cthong,\u201d
\nThen bought white cotton panties instead.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mike Moulton: <\/p>\n

A chicken with plumage bright red
\nTried to charm all the hens in a shed.
\nHe said, “I’m a great cock.”
\nBut the rest of the flock
\nSaw that he was a capon and fled.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Robert Schechter:<\/p>\n

Most poets write “Roses are red,”
\nBut I started my love poem instead
\n“A rose is chartreuse,”
\nWhich is why, I deduce,
\nI never did get her in bed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jim Delaney: <\/p>\n

A gal who was very well-read
\nTried to tempt a young man to her bed.
\nBut such culture can do less
\nWhen Emma is Clueless,
\nAnd boys watch the movie instead.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

A woman was very well-read
\nAnd her topic of choice was sex ed.
\n\u201cDr. Kinsey\u2019s her guide,\u201d
\nBeamed her man, grinning wide.
\n\u201cShe just Masters my Johnson,\u201d he said.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sallie McKenna: <\/p>\n

Old fashioned, she always wore red,
\nSaid it kept her from being well bred;
\nWith Tom, Dick, or Harry
\nThe red kept her chary.
\nHer “stop” won\u2019t go “green” till she\u2019s wed!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jane Shelton Hoffman: <\/p>\n

The canvass was totally red.
\n“It’s genius!” the art critic said.
\nHow could we agree
\nWhen all we could see
\nLooked the same when we stood on our head?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to Tim James, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: A baker went into the red When his payroll costs came to a head: \u201cI pay Dad and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[3523,2281,2610,2065,3284,5009,5018,3621,2537,3881,3167,487,523],"class_list":["post-24499","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","tag-fred-bortz","tag-jane-shelton-hoffman","tag-jim-delaney","tag-johanna-richmond","tag-kirk-miller","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-mike-moulton","tag-robert-schechter","tag-sallie-mckenna","tag-tim-james","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24499","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24499"}],"version-history":[{"count":47,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24499\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24612,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24499\/revisions\/24612"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24499"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24499"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24499"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}