{"id":24227,"date":"2014-01-19T00:51:48","date_gmt":"2014-01-19T04:51:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=24227"},"modified":"2014-01-19T01:09:53","modified_gmt":"2014-01-19T05:09:53","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-148","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2014\/01\/19\/limerick-of-the-week-148\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (148)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to Bob Dvorak, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

A fellow was warned in advance
\nThat she’d had every guy wearing pants.
\n“Sounds like my kind of quest,
\nThis Community Chest.”
\nHe got dressed, leaving nothing to Chance.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Fred Bortz<\/a>, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

An author’s substantial advance
\nFor a book on carnivorous plants
\nAlas led him to doom
\nWhen consumed by a bloom.
\nAll they found was a shoe and his pants.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kevin Ahern<\/a>, Steve Whitred<\/a>, Craig Dykstra, Byron Miller a\/k\/a Errol Nimbly, Sallie McKenna, Jamie Hutchinson, and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Kevin Ahern: <\/p>\n

In Eden the way to advance
\nWas surely not just happenstance.
\nFor Adam, his brief
\nWas a tiny fig leaf.
\nThe man of the house wore the plants.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred: <\/p>\n

Her sensual, sultry advance
\nAnd her walk, which was more like a dance,
\nThe soft light on her hair
\nAll gave wings to my care
\nThat a package was there in her pants.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Craig Dykstra: <\/p>\n

Vegetarians learn in advance
\nAll those “don’t eat the animals” rants.
\nBut I don’t avoid meat
\n‘Cause I like things with feet \u2013
\nNo, it’s just that I LOVE killing plants!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Byron Miller: <\/p>\n

I rebuffed a flirtatious advance
\nFrom a wraith at a s\u00e9ance in France.
\nI could see through her clearly:
\nShe did not love me dearly–
\nWe hadn’t a ghost of a chance.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sallie McKenna: <\/p>\n

A fellow was warned in advance
\nTo be sober when placing his plants;
\nHe ignored what they said,
\nThen when sodding his bed,
\nFace-planted, his balance askance.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jamie Hutchinson: <\/p>\n

A waltzer turned down the advance
\nOf a fellow in tight-fitting pants:
\n\u201cThe place is so packed,\u201d
\nShe observed with great tact,
\n\u201cWe don’t have enough ballroom to dance.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

A gal lost a tidy advance
\nFrom some monks at an abbey in France
\nTo compose something choral.
\nShe couldn\u2019t. The moral:
\nDon\u2019t compete when you know you\u2019ve no chants.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to Bob Dvorak, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: A fellow was warned in advance That she’d had every guy wearing pants. “Sounds like my kind of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[3115,2578,2690,3523,3073,3499,5009,5018,3881,3342,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24227"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24227"}],"version-history":[{"count":49,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24227\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24379,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24227\/revisions\/24379"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}