{"id":24115,"date":"2014-01-12T00:58:52","date_gmt":"2014-01-12T04:58:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=24115"},"modified":"2014-01-12T01:08:07","modified_gmt":"2014-01-12T05:08:07","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-147","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2014\/01\/12\/limerick-of-the-week-147\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (147)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to BYRON MILLER a\/k\/a Errol Nimbly, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

Our captain appears to be out
\nOf the closet, without any doubt.
\nFrom high up in the rigging,
\nI spotted him frigging
\nThe cabin boy coming about.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to SUE DULLEY and SCOTT CROWDER, who are tied in winning this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award.<\/p>\n

Sue Dulley: <\/p>\n

Time was: “If you’d like to go out,
\nPick the phone up and give me a shout.”
\nThen came email, and next
\n“Just snd me a txt” —
\nSoon telepathy’s coming, no doubt.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Scott Crowder: <\/p>\n

A woman is throwing things out —
\nLeftovers forgotten about:
\nA strange purple treat,
\nOld mystery meat,
\nAnd something that’s started to sprout.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to JOHANNA RICHMOND, who wins a special Limerick Saga Award for her clever multi-verse limerick about New Jersey Governor Chris Christie\u2019s press conference concerning the George Washington Bridge lane closure scandal:<\/p>\n

\n“I\u2019m too trusting — my secret is out —
\nAnd too genuine, lovable, stout…
\nBut a bully? Vindictive?
\nMy wounded heart fictive?
\nThat’s not what Chris Christie\u2019s about!<\/p>\n

“I am sad and so very depressed;
\nTell me, how could I EVER have guessed
\nThat my dep chief of staff
\nWould have made such a gaffe.
\nI cut loose that dead weight — thought it best. <\/p>\n

“As you know, folks, I don\u2019t blow my cork.
\nTo the fellow who differs: Hey dork,
\nIf you think you felt pain
\nWhen I shut down your lane
\nYou should see what I do with a fork!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Ira Bloom, Tim James, Byron Ives, Aparna Ray<\/a>, Johanna Richmond, Daisy Mae Simon<\/a>, Will T. Laughlin<\/a>, and Sharon L. Smatusek Harris. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Ira Bloom: <\/p>\n

In my youth I had cause to go out
\nWith a gal with a merciless pout.
\nThose lips she would purse
\nIn a manner so terse,
\nTo this day, I can’t look at a trout.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

A Congressman liked to make out
\nWith the gals in his office, the lout,
\n‘Til one day when he met
\nThe girls\u2019 boyfriends. I\u2019ll bet
\nThat he\u2019s learned a new meaning of \u201cclout.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Byron Ives: <\/p>\n

This gal had it all figured it out–
\nHer sex life had long been a drought:
\n\u201cI\u2019ll visit a tavern,
\n\u201cFind meat for my cavern,
\n\u201cBut probably settle for trout.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Aparna Ray: <\/p>\n

A woman was throwing things out:
\nBelongings, her boyfriend’s (a lout.)
\n“I’m declutt’ring”, said she,
\n“Getting rid of debris,
\nAnd that sure includes him, without doubt.”\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Johanna Richmond, inspired by this news item<\/a>:<\/p>\n

A new natural Prozac’s come out,
\nOne your men-friends are likely to tout.
\nAnd you won\u2019t go bone dry
\nIf you blow your supply;
\nIt’s renewable — rarely a drought.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Daisy Mae Simon: <\/p>\n

A woman would often go out
\nWith a man with an extra large snout.
\nAnd though people would stare,
\nShe just didn’t care
\n‘Cause in bed she would squeal from its clout.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

Well, I\u2019m glad that my daughter goes out
\nWith a man who is truly devout.
\nI looked in on them: He\u2019s
\nGot her down on her knees…
\n\u201cGod! Oh, God!\u201d I keep hearing him shout.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon L. Smatusek Harris: <\/p>\n

As a 60ish woman with clout,
\nIt is not worth my while to go out.
\nEach \u201cgrandpa\u201d expects
\nThat a coffee buys sex
\nEven though there’s no \u201cspring in his sprout.\u201d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

(While Sharon’s limerick uses “out” in line 2 instead of line 1, it made me laugh so much I just had to include it.) <\/p>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to BYRON MILLER a\/k\/a Errol Nimbly, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: Our captain appears to be out Of the closet, without any doubt. From high up […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[3969,3971,2578,2350,2373,2065,5009,5018,2223,3975,3369,3167,3543,487,523],"class_list":["post-24115","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","tag-aparna-ray","tag-byron-ives","tag-byron-miller","tag-daisy-mae-simon","tag-ira-bloom","tag-johanna-richmond","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-scott-crowder","tag-sharon-l-smatusek-harris","tag-sue-dulley","tag-tim-james","tag-will-t-laughlin","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24115","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24115"}],"version-history":[{"count":59,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24115\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24224,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24115\/revisions\/24224"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24115"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24115"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24115"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}