{"id":23114,"date":"2013-11-21T18:14:44","date_gmt":"2013-11-21T22:14:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=23114"},"modified":"2013-11-21T18:16:41","modified_gmt":"2013-11-21T22:16:41","slug":"fake-safety-rules-humor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2013\/11\/21\/fake-safety-rules-humor\/","title":{"rendered":"Fake Safety Rules (Washington Post Style Invitational Contest)"},"content":{"rendered":"

I found the Washington Post Style Invitational Contest’s request for humorous fake safety regs especially challenging. (You’d think that being a recovering attorney would have helped my case, but no.)<\/p>\n

Needless to say, I didn’t win. Here’s where to find the winners list<\/a>.<\/p>\n

And here are some non-inking entries from me:<\/p>\n

Lawyers’ Offices: All parties who sign any contract are required to sign a second contract attesting to the fact that they read the first one.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\nOrthodox Jewish weddings & Bar Mitzvahs: Male dancers must be certified “capable of dancing without killing anyone” by an Orthodox rabbi, who himself has received such certification.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Figure skating jumps at the Olympics and other competitive events shall be limited to two rotations per jump.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dining: Patrons may not sit near me at a restaurant without first signing a “spillage damage liability waiver.”\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Elevators: No entry without breath mints.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I found the Washington Post Style Invitational Contest’s request for humorous fake safety regs especially challenging. (You’d think that being a recovering attorney would have helped my case, but no.) Needless to say, I didn’t win. Here’s where to find the winners list. And here are some non-inking entries from me: Lawyers’ Offices: All parties […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,10,42],"tags":[1537,3937,3935,3936,3902],"class_list":["post-23114","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-legal-humor","category-limericks","tag-legal-lawyer-humor","tag-regulations-humor","tag-safety-humor","tag-silly-rules","tag-washington-post-style-invitational"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23114","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23114"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23114\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23497,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23114\/revisions\/23497"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23114"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23114"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23114"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}