{"id":22370,"date":"2013-09-22T00:08:12","date_gmt":"2013-09-22T04:08:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=22370"},"modified":"2013-09-22T00:18:12","modified_gmt":"2013-09-22T04:18:12","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-132","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2013\/09\/22\/limerick-of-the-week-132\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (132)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to Chris Doyle, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

Mick Jagger’s indeed in a fix
\nWhen St. Peter looks up and says “Nix!”
\nAnd the next thing Mick knows
\nHe’s in Hell, where he rows
\nFor eternity playing the Styx.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who wins this week\u2019s Facebook Friends\u2019 Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook \u201clikes.\u201d<\/p>\n

My cat often gets in a fix;
\nHe got crushed by a pile of bricks,
\nHe got burned in a fire,
\nAnd squished by a tire \u2013
\nI think his nine lives are at six.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Will T. Laughlin<\/a>, who wins a special Limerick Saga Award, occasionally given to a very clever multi-verse limerick.<\/p>\n

THE THREE LITTLE PIGS<\/p>\n

Pig One\u2019s in a terrible fix:
\nLost his home (made of hay-and-straw mix)
\nWhen a Wolf wandered by
\nWith a gleam in his eye,
\nAnd blew the house down just for kicks.<\/p>\n

Pig Two had no time to affix
\nThe mezuzah to *his* house (of sticks)
\nWhen the Wolf came to town
\nAnd he blew the house down\u2026
\n(He was up to his usual tricks).<\/p>\n

Said the Third Pig, \u201cThis problem I\u2019ll fix
\nBy building my house out of bricks.\u201d
\nBut the Wolf (Bad and Big)
\nJust foreclosed on the pig
\nAnd moved on to Pigs Four, Five and Six.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Johanna Richmond, Craig Dykstra, Jamie Hutchinson, David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose<\/a>, Will T. Laughlin<\/a>, Colleen Murphy<\/a>, and Hogarth Hippolyte. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Johanna Richmond: <\/p>\n

A man who demands a quick fix
\n(We\u2019re talking down south in the sticks)
\nMay ask for a “Hoover” —
\nA tricky maneuver —
\nSounds cleaner than what it depicts.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Craig Dykstra: <\/p>\n

A daredevil got in a fix
\nBecause breakfast and highways don’t mix.
\nNow the poor guy is dead
\nAnd his epitaph read:
\n“Got his Kix\u00ae out on Route 66.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jamie Hutchinson:<\/p>\n

A matchmaker needed a fix
\nWhen the matches she made didn’t mix.
\nSo she set up online
\nAnd now business is fine:
\nEvery match is a couple that clicks.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose:<\/p>\n

Bernanke is trying to fix
\nThe economy, which he predicts
\nWill keep going sideways
\nUnless they provide ways
\nTo goose it with stimulus tricks.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

Roger Ailes cried, \u201cPlease somebody, fix
\nThis FAX machine. Something there sticks.\u201d
\nYou can fix the Fox FAX,
\nBut a much better tack\u2019s
\nTo fix the faux facts that Fox picks.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Colleen Murphy: <\/p>\n

A fellow got into a fix;
\nHe was due home for dinner at six,
\nBut he got home at eight,
\nSays his work made him late.
\nThen his wife saw the Instagram pics.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Hogarth Hippolyte: <\/p>\n

A woman who needed a fix
\nDecided to fund it with tricks.
\nShe went on the street
\nHoping Johns she would meet,
\nBut scored with a couple of Knicks.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

Cried the madam, \u201cWell, we\u2019re in a fix:
\nOf eight clients, you\u2019ve scared away six.
\nYou pull a live bunny
\nRight out of your\u2026 Honey,
\nYou\u2019re turning the wrong kind of tricks!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to Chris Doyle, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: Mick Jagger’s indeed in a fix When St. Peter looks up and says “Nix!” And the next thing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[3116,2525,2690,2047,3850,3073,2065,5009,5018,3543,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22370"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22370"}],"version-history":[{"count":66,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22370\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22496,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22370\/revisions\/22496"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22370"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22370"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22370"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}