{"id":21872,"date":"2013-08-18T00:01:06","date_gmt":"2013-08-18T04:01:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=21872"},"modified":"2013-08-18T00:08:17","modified_gmt":"2013-08-18T04:08:17","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-127","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2013\/08\/18\/limerick-of-the-week-127\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (127)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

When asked why he dated a pair,
\nThe bowler said “Don’t be a square:
\nMy sex drive’s too much
\nFor one girl so, as such,
\nI will frequently pick up a spare.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

When my eagle-eyed kid spied a pair
\nOf \u201cbunny\u201d ears high in the air,
\nI commended her keenness
\nBut doubted the genus:
\n\u201cIt\u2019s Chicago \u2014- that must be a hare.\u201d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Mark Kane, Sue Dulley, and Steve Whitred<\/a>, who jointly win a special Limerick Repartee Award for this limerick exchange:<\/p>\n

Mark Kane: <\/p>\n

A Bartlett and Bosc, what a pair
\nOf pears for your pie, if you dare?
\nOr instead, bake a tart.
\nEnter both if you’re smart,
\nAs your fare for this year’s country fair.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley: <\/p>\n

If you’re baking a pie using pear
\nTo compete in your county Fall Fair,
\nBake another to eat
\nJust to check that it’s sweet,
\nAnd a third one – you may wish to share.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred:<\/p>\n

To be fair to Mark, pies made with pear
\nAre a waste if they\u2019re just made to share:
\nMad\u2019s averse to pies based
\nOn their texture and taste,
\nAs she\u2019ll swear to all yet unaware.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

If our Mark baked a spare filled with pear
\nOr apple or peach, just to share,
\nAnd Mad wouldn’t bite,
\nIt might still be all right—
\nFriends would flock to their flat for such fare.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mark Kane: <\/p>\n

Did they come for the laughs or the pear?
\nAs they eat, it is clear what we share.
\nWhen I run out of pie,
\nAnd they leave, I’ll know why:
\nIt’s not me but the fare. That’s not fair!<\/p>\n

But one<\/strong> stays, and look at her pair!
\nI’m grinning, but try not to stare.
\nShe puts down her plate,
\nAnd she soon seals my fate,
\nBy getting us both very bare.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

(Note from Mad Kane: For anyone suspecting marital bias in Mark’s getting this award, I gave him one, not<\/strong> because we’re married, but in spite of it.)<\/p>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sue Dulley, Cyn<\/a>, Kevin Ahern<\/a>, Ira Bloom, Kirk Miller, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Steve Whitred<\/a>, and David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose<\/a>. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Sue Dulley: <\/p>\n

A woman was trying to pare
\nHer collection of dresses to wear,
\nFor since she’s retired
\nThey won’t be required
\n(Unless she begins an affair.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Cyn: <\/p>\n

A fellow who tried to repair
\nA couch that had seen too much wear
\nGot the job done so wrong
\nThat he claimed, \u201cAll along
\nI was planning to make it a chair.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kevin Ahern: <\/p>\n

On my trip to Helsinki — despair!
\nThis story I\u2019ve told everywhere:
\nOur luggage was lost
\nAt a terrible cost.
\nIt vanished right into Finn Air.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ira Bloom: <\/p>\n

A fellow who needed a pair,
\n(His had shrunk, in his wife’s angry glare!)
\nWas resolved to save face,
\nAnd put her in her place,
\nIn his mind. But out loud? Au contraire.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kirk Miller:<\/p>\n

\u201cThe national budget I\u2019ll pare,\u201d
\nSaid Dubya, who used lots of flair.
\n\u201cIt makes lots of sense
\nTo cut our defense.
\nChange the Pentagon into a square!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jane Shelton Hoffmann: <\/p>\n

A fellow had ordered a pair
\nOf women to come to his lair:
\nOne blonde, one brunette,
\nBut he seemed to forget
\n‘Twas a weekend his kids would be there.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred:<\/p>\n

Forlornly she fondled his pair.
\nThen she said with her eyes all a-glare,
\n\u201cIn light of the linkage
\nOf old age to shrinkage,
\nI\u2019ll bet that you color your hair.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose:<\/p>\n

A fastidious English au pair
\nWith a family who lived in Bel Air
\nTold the handyman, Paul,
\nThat his tool was too small:
\n“In love,” she said, “awl is not fair.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: When asked why he dated a pair, The bowler said “Don’t be a square: My sex drive’s too […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[2690,3785,2047,2373,3073,2281,3499,3284,5009,5018,175,3342,3369,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21872"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21872"}],"version-history":[{"count":34,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21872\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21962,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21872\/revisions\/21962"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21872"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21872"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21872"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}