{"id":21682,"date":"2013-08-04T00:11:23","date_gmt":"2013-08-04T04:11:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=21682"},"modified":"2013-08-04T00:22:18","modified_gmt":"2013-08-04T04:22:18","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-125","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2013\/08\/04\/limerick-of-the-week-125\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (125)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to Neal Pattison<\/a>, who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:<\/p>\n

A heel and a ho tried to hie,
\nBut fell in a hole by and by.
\nThe heel dug with a hoe.
\nThe ho climbed heel-and-toe,
\nAnd soon they were both high and dry.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes:”<\/p>\n

The first time I ever got high
\nMy limerick skills went awry.
\nMy opening rhyme
\nSeemed OK at the time
\nBut then, like, dude … I was all … whoa …<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Fred Bortz<\/a> and Will T. Laughlin<\/a>, who jointly win a special Limerick Repartee Award for this limerick exchange:<\/p>\n

Fred Bortz: <\/p>\n

The goy in the shul would say “Hi,”
\nNo matter how hard he would try.
\nHe struggled no doubt,
\nBut no “ch” would come out.
\nFor “L’chaim” his throat was too dry.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

Unless he\u2019s a Scot, I defy \u2018im
\nTo manage the \u05d7 in: \u05dc\u05b0\u05d7\u05b7\u05d9\u05b4\u05d9\u05dd \u2013
\nPlus, I\u2019m willing to bet
\nThat the goy\u2019s name is \u201cChet\u201d
\nWhich explains why the lesson goes by \u2018im.<\/p>\n

On the other hand (that is, right-to-left)\u2026<\/p>\n

hgih si noisufnoc ,miyog su roF
\n\u2026yrt a werbeH evig ot og ew nehW
\n,*eh* decnuonorp s\u2019\u201dehs\u201d roF
\n,*em* si \u201cohw\u201d ,*ohw* si \u201ceH\u201d
\n!*ianoda* decnuonorp s\u2019HVHY dnA<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Steve Whitred<\/a>, who wins a special Limerick Puzzle Award, occasionally given to a very clever puzzle in limerick form:<\/p>\n

If you hike on a hill and aren\u2019t high
\nYou might give my new puzzle a try,
\nAnd for those who don\u2019t walk
\nWell, you still needn\u2019t balk
\nOn your lateral skills you\u2019ll rely.<\/p>\n

From the base of the hill \u2018till you\u2019re high
\nIt\u2019s a day trip. I mean to imply
\nIf you start off at 8
\nYou can vary your gait
\nAnd reach summit as ev\u2019ning is nigh.<\/p>\n

From the camp that you make, up on high
\nYou\u2019ll return the next day, (don\u2019t ask why)
\nDown the same path you used
\nSo you shan\u2019t be confused
\nLeave at 8, don\u2019t be late, do or die.<\/p>\n

Back at base, the sun\u2019s no longer high.
\nNow, for bluster and bragging rights vie.
\nTake a pencil or pen
\nAll you women and men.
\nHere\u2019s the question I want you to try:<\/p>\n

Is the likelihood mid, low, or high
\nOn your trips up and down, bye and bye
\nYou were at the same place
\nThough you varied your pace
\nAt the same time, on climb and reply.<\/p>\n

Since the difficult rating is high
\nAnd to show I don\u2019t mean to be sly
\n\u201cIs it likely or not
\nYou stood on the same spot
\nOn both day\u2019s at Time X and Place Y?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to the two people who managed to solve Steve’s puzzle. Craig Dykstra solved it first, soon followed by Sue Dulley. Here’s Craig’s solution:<\/p>\n

\nTo Steve Whitred, I wave and say \u201cHi.\u201d
\nAnd applaud this most challenging guy.
\nBut the answer is clear
\nAnd I\u2019ll spell it out here
\nIn the hopes you will understand why.<\/p>\n

Steve asked if it\u2019s low, mid or high.
\nHow likely it was that this guy
\nWould pass the same rock
\nThe same time on the clock
\nAs the previous day he walked by.<\/p>\n

The answer is \u201cpretty damn high.\u201d
\nIt\u2019s 100%, and here\u2019s why:
\nInstead of one man
\nLet\u2019s use two, Dan and Stan
\nTo identical rules they comply.<\/p>\n

At eight, Dan starts low, Stan starts high.
\nTo the other end both guys will fly.
\nAt exactly one place
\nThey must meet face to face
\nUnless they can logic defy.<\/p>\n

So unless you\u2019re exceedingly high,
\nYou can see that both hikes by ONE guy
\nMust cross the same way
\nBut just off by one day \u2013
\nNow my work here is done, so good bye.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And here’s Sue’s solution:<\/p>\n

The day I hike down from up high
\nMy twin who’s as sluggish as I
\nWill, at the same time,
\nDuplicate my ‘up’ climb –
\nWe’ll meet somewhere, at some time, oh my. <\/p>\n

The one place, not terribly high
\nWhere we meet on the trail, on the fly,
\nDetermines in space
\nThe one “same-time-same-place”
\nThat Steve’s asking about – would I lie?\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy<\/a>, Sue Dulley, Kevin Ahern<\/a>, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Steve Whitred<\/a>. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Colleen Murphy: <\/p>\n

My five-year old tried to say hi
\nTo a man in a suit and a tie.
\nWhen the stuck-up man shunned him
\nHe Taser gun stunned him.
\nHe\u2019s grounded, but what a good-bye!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley: <\/p>\n

I knew it was priced way too high,
\nThis silk that I just had to buy.
\nCloth collecting’s my sin,
\nI know I can’t win,
\nJust hope it ends up in a tie.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kevin Ahern: <\/p>\n

A frog looking up at things high
\nThinks the time for philosophy nigh.
\nHis attitude smug,
\nHe’d just caught a bug
\nAnd says, “Times fun when you’re having fly.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jane Shelton Hoffman: <\/p>\n

A prostitute always said, “Hi!”
\nWhen trying to pick up a guy.
\nThey thought her so nice,
\nBut SHE meant her price,
\nSo most of the men said, Bye, bye.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred:<\/p>\n

The pirates were all pretty high
\nWhen the one with the patch went awry.
\nHe had heard the command
\nTo \u201cdeliver and stand\u201d
\nBut acknowledged with only one \u201caye.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to Neal Pattison, who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse: A heel and a ho tried to hie, But fell in a hole by and by. The heel […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[2525,2690,3523,2281,3499,5009,5018,2476,3342,3369,3543,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21682"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21682"}],"version-history":[{"count":28,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21682\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21751,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21682\/revisions\/21751"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21682"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21682"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21682"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}